It's very frustrating isn't it! A long or stop start pre-labour.

What you are going through is very common for first time labours but I think you are very wise (well actually I know you are cos I have read a few of your wise posts!) to question it and think through it.

You certainly could be needing to mentally process things that are a subconscious concern, and absolutely could be needing your DH to be with you. Or it could be the prep and cleaning playing on your mind. As others have said, the calmness, stillness and more likely relaxation at night means more women tend to labour then. (Although if you are more uncomfortable then I am not sure if this rings true!)

Mostly, I think the stop start of labour for first time labours is because the body and the cervix particularly has so much to do it takes a lot of time. It has to go from being a tunnel shape, pull up and then begin to dilate. Some women are lucky that this all happens without them knowing and they go straight into the business end of dilation, and for some women it happens more quickly. For some other lucky women (you and me by the sounds of it!) It takes tiiiimmmeee, gives us real contractions as practice and drives us round the bend!

Keep in mind that your baby is coming when they are ready, meditate on that and (Sorry, hate to say it,) go with the flow.

Your mental prep will help you I believe too, mentally checking everything is ready could set you off. It worked for me. I was stressed about all the things I had to do before my DD arrived (she was due at Christmas and I had all the presents to organise!!) One day I just realised it was all done, I was ready and then Labour began properly the next day!

Hope things get moving very soon, I am looking forward to seeing your BA!