Slow Parenting

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

But how to stop? I feel I'm moving with DS's interests: he LIKES me counting how many times I throw him in the air, he grabs a book and "reads" to himself, he runs to the piano to have a play... I've said that as he attends Nursery then I'm not enrolling him in any classes, bad enough that he has to be in a National Curriculum already without adding to it! He loves drawing and playing ball with Daddy. And without pointing out letters, colours, animals, cars etc on our walks I don't know what to chat about any more. When he was little I could just chat and it was all language, now I have to take it to his level because he understands some things (such as "Oooh look, a doggie. Doggie is white.") and not others (such as "There is a dog. A dog is a quadruped, meaning four legs. That comes from the Latin: quad for four and ped for foot. The dog has a coat of fur. That coat is white, but beneath the coat the skin is a different colour.").

The German is because I am learning (very slowly!) and his Godmother is Austrian so it is most likely we'll spend holidays in Austria in the future, so he'll need to know some of the language. Oh yes, we'll be teaching him skiing at some point in the future too, but only if he enjoys it. If not, we can still build snowmen and go for sleigh rides.

[Phteven]

Ryn, I don't think you need to panic. I think that one of the points that Honore is making is that we need to respond to our children no force our intrests on them. So if he enjoys banging on the piano go for it but let him set the pace. As for the German, children thrive on loving attention no matter what language it's delivered in.

I read a related article a while ago (but I can't track it down) about the way that a lot of modern parenting is focussed on raising adults rather than providing a safe space in which to be a child. That we have become so focussed on the end product (adults) that we have devalued childhood and children. The author suggested that we shouldn't worry so much about what sort of adult our children will become and refocus on what sort of children they are and what sort of childhhod they are experiencing - that if we aim for healthy happy children then healthy happy adults are a natural result.

[fionas]

Yes, like with everything in life there will always be a balance. No harm in exposing your child to lots of different experiences but no point forcing your interests, or what you think they SHOULD be interested in, upon them.

Kids often inexplicably have entirely different interests to their own parents. My sister was quite good at art - my parents couldn't hold a pencil! I was always interested in history and politics right from the time when I was given a transfer set of medieval battlefields when I was about five (not sure who gave me that as a present - but THANK YOU!). My parents neither dismissed nor encouraged those interests. A bit of encouragement would have been good but if they'd started taking me down to the library to get out Jean Plaidy books it would have seemed like their interest, not mine. As it was, I did it on my own and then did history at uni. It was MY thing, not theirs.

My DP was always interested in trains. He had that passion from six years of age. He's now a train driver and has his own website about trains. He's a NUT. Again, his parents encouraged him a bit but didn't push it.

Based on that, I could start showing my DD my fascinating collection of BBC documentaries about British history from a very early age. But you know what, I think I would initially be quite chuffed if she had the same passion as me but ultimately disappointed because I would rather she chose something for herself and started teaching me stuff about something I know nothing about. Who knows what that might be? I'll let her find out for herself.

And by the way, my friends and I joke about the "gifted" thing. I throw that word into conversation, tongue in cheek all the time. DD being able to put her thumb in her mouth and simultaneously put her finger up her nose - GIFTED!!!

[Phteven]

Fiona, I think Yasin must be uber-gifted - he can pick 2 nostrils simultaneously!!!

[Roryrory]

I have a great book alled "Einstein didn't use flash cards" - its all about helping your kid learn things without pushing. Sounds like a "slow" approach

[Cricket]

Well, it's about time someone noticed this trend! Great article! I especially appreciated the part at the end about discipline. We are so concerned with telling our children how wonderful they are all the time, and never correcting/dealing with their less-than-wonderful behaviour.
I can think of a few parents (besides myself ) I should show this to.

[Muppity]

What a great article - I will have to get the book once it is available