Chrissy what a crap midwife you had! You didn't let anyone down - she let YOU down. This is more or less exactly what happened to me. I still havent written mine and dont know if I want to. They seem to think that when you've had a couple of kids you should just breeze through it, but the toll it takes on your body is huge.

You did a wonderful job and considering the pain you were in at the end - I remember you couldn't sleep and really had a hard time - you're an inspiration hun.