I'm feeling a bit better in one way, because that hospital is now such a toxic place for me, I feel physically sick and afraid thinking about it or seeing it, let along being there, so I'm glad that I shouldn't need to go back there again. That is positive.
I'm feeling wary though, because I didn't get to see my normal surgeon for the last appointment. I had to see another one, and they wouldn't tell me why. I'm guessing it's because of my complaint, but I was just told that he'd left a couple of minutes before my appointment (and my appointment was the last one for the day, and had been booked weeks in advance, so it was very odd if he really had just left before seeing me) so I had to see this other guy. So that was a little unnerving, because I was used to the other one.
So yeah, I'm a bit wary because even though he said it was all finished, there are still sore parts, numb parts, parts which don't seem "finished" and still a bit of swelling. The other surgeon said that could take up to a year - so another 4 months or so. But if this guy is right and all the internal bits are healed, then that's a big step in the right direction.
In terms of emotional and relational stuff, I've got a really good counsellor, but I'm under no false illusions of being all fixed up in a short space of time. But she's good, and we're working on stuff on an ongoing basis.
I imagine that when I get pg again there will be a lot of fear to conquer, but we'll deal with that too, in time. And when Joshua gets old enough to understand what happened during his birth, there will no doubt be more to deal with again.
So in terms of how I'm feeling, there has been progress, but it's still a really long road in a lot of ways. And I'm still extremely angry and sad. And the hospital's lack of response has made it worse.
I don't have a specific thread about my complaint. But yeah. How ironic that I ended up effectively having to make a complaint about the complaints department?
Thanks for the update. Glad to hear that it all appears to be healing properly and no more surgery.
Good on you for making your complaint, someone needs to be accountable I hope they treat you with the respect you deserve through all of this. I'd nearly be looking at compensation from them for all your out of pocket expenses and trauma that you have been through.
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
wow, i have just read this entire thread - yes, it's very draining just to read it all, i think i was holding my breath - all that stuff about the fistula - i have only heard of fistulas, in the context of circumcised African girls/women - and an Australian female surgeon who set up a free hospital in Africa to help the huge numbers of women affected. I had no idea it could also happen as a result of childbirth. I am still not sure if it happened to you as a result of childbirth, or having an episotomy (they scare me so much, i coudln't read the para in your story at that point).
and then to read about the mistreatment you received (the catherisation not being bandaged?) which meant the chemicals kept hurting your skin - OMG.
i had things go wrong with my pregnancy and labour too, things that i still feel upset about. Good on you for complaining, i did not feel strong enough to do that myself, when it happened to me.
my home water birth (marathon) turned into a emergency c-section too. so i sympathise (with having to let that dream go).
your humour and irony in the telling of your story - amazes me. you are definately a cup half full kinda woman.
i hope you are healed now, what an ordeal to go thru.
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