wow, i have just read this entire thread - yes, it's very draining just to read it all, i think i was holding my breath - all that stuff about the fistula - i have only heard of fistulas, in the context of circumcised African girls/women - and an Australian female surgeon who set up a free hospital in Africa to help the huge numbers of women affected. I had no idea it could also happen as a result of childbirth. I am still not sure if it happened to you as a result of childbirth, or having an episotomy (they scare me so much, i coudln't read the para in your story at that point).

and then to read about the mistreatment you received (the catherisation not being bandaged?) which meant the chemicals kept hurting your skin - OMG.

i had things go wrong with my pregnancy and labour too, things that i still feel upset about. Good on you for complaining, i did not feel strong enough to do that myself, when it happened to me.

my home water birth (marathon) turned into a emergency c-section too. so i sympathise (with having to let that dream go).

your humour and irony in the telling of your story - amazes me. you are definately a cup half full kinda woman.

i hope you are healed now, what an ordeal to go thru.