Wow, Mel, what a tops story! You did so wonderfully to labour so long at home.
Your descriptions of the sensations (and your denial of being in actual labour!) remind me so much of Phoebe's birth - it's incredible! (Except I did have the ring of fire, LOL!)
I don't blame you for being afraid - it's what many people in the medical profession would've programmed into you. The point is that you DID have faith enough in yourself to have that VB - the fear didn't take over because you did birth your DD vaginally. So FWIW, my advice is don't stress about how you behaved during labour... I am sure we all have things we'd do differently in a perfect world (where childbirth isn't painful, LOL!).
So huge congratulations again on the beautiful birth of Eden. Enjoy her!