Doctor #1: [in the tone of one asking ?soy or decaf??] ?What?s your preferred position??

PMSL

That was the best, most entertaining birth story I've read in a while And I hear you on the uncontrollable *bowel motion* sensation to deliver. My 2.5 hour from 2cm to out was just that sensation

Congratulations and well done. Excellent job - even if you weren't convinced yourself