thread: The saddest day (a little long but necessary)

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Oct 2005
    Gold Coast, Qld
    630

    Oh Charaz that is just terrible babe.
    I would change his name to one that you want, He is your son not theirs and if they don't like it tell your FIL to get MIL up the duff so she can name HER baby after him. They will get over it and if they don't then the grief is theirs not yours. I have told a similar story in here a while ago, where I was nursing a lady and her Overbearing MIL was exactly the same, I really felt for her.
    Now you said bub is two months old, is he a June baby? If he is I would like to invite you to join the June Babies thread. If not don't dispair there is also a May one you can join in on. Welcome to Belly Belly, WE would live to hear some details about your pregnancy and Birthas well as all the stats on bub. Feel free to vent and share your feeling, everyione here is great and very supportive. Chin up, the sun always rises on a new day.
    Bye Dee

  2. #2
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Angry

    Oh Jeez, that's just NOT ON.

    Here comes a rant

    Naming your child the name you have given him and registering him as such is the only thing to do. It is not drastic action. It is your son's right to his true name - the one given by his parents.
    IMHO if you don't, you may as well tatto your MIL's name across your own forehead, what could be next? Take a stand, claim your place as his mother and your healing process can begin. One of the best things about giving birth is how protective we get of our young - tap into that strength, and wear it with pride mumma.

    rant over..

    Can you take some strength from your own parents on this? I'm sure they were as shocked as you at this behaviour.
    Keep us "posted", we are all here for you.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2004
    3,903

    First of all Charaz...Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!!

    I also agree with Lulu, (and everyone else) what could be next?? Don't let her undermine you as a mother and especially as a couple.

    They don't have to like the name/s you choose.. But they should respect it.

    I would fill out that form with the name you have chosen, mail it off and when you get your sons beautiful birth certificate with his name on it, I would proudly display it for ALL to see. Politely tell them you are this child's mother, you conceived him, nourished him and brought him into this world and therefor you choose his name and they must respect it.

    huge hugs to you....

    Nic

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    Buderim
    24

    Hi Charaz, just wondering if you have used your DH's last name for your son? If so, your IL's should be proud that you even have a son to carry on the family name at all! Shane and I are not married but as it is my fathers belief that the children take the fathers last name no matter what, our son's have taken their fathers surname. What we did was use the middle name to honour my family. As everyone has said it is your decision for your baby's name, this is not the 1800's when it was expected to name your first born son after the father or fathers family. Nor are you member of a Royal Family where there are expectations for the name of your children. If you have filled out the forms, I say tear them up,and then go and fill in a new one with the name of your choice. Point out to your rotton IL's that your son is already named after your FIL just by him taking their surname and they should be happy with that!

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    ex-Melbourne girl in Hong Kong
    308

    Wow, what rotten inlaws.

    I'm just being a sheep and agreeing with everyone. I in the same situation would take a look at the baby's last name too. What's to say he can't have your maiden name and you change back or hyphenate your last name. So some might say that's just putting fuel on the fire but I won't be walked all over.

    I know of 2 couples where the man has taken the womans name, 2 where they have both adopted a hyphenated name making a combination of the 2 original names and 1 where they chose his mothers maiden name and both took it...

    It sounds like your DH doesn't have a very good self esteem and has probably been bullied by his parents all his life. I'm sorry to say it but I think he needs to grow some hair on his balls and be his own man...he's not 8 anymore.