Thanks ladies. It has been good for me to share the story, partly to hear from others about their similar experiences, and partly because DH and I haven't been able to share the full story with many people. I'm finding that people IRL often ask "how was the birth?" but don't really want to hear the answer, and/or say things that are quite insensitive and invalidating.

I also wanted to report that Archie is doing fantastically well considering that first 24 hours. We are very lucky that breastfeeding was established pretty quickly, although with support from my Doula. And my attachment to him was perhaps "stalled" but not impacted too badly. And I've been able to reconnect with my psychologist who helped me with ANDA, and having some sessions with her to debrief and work through my anxiety and grief.

Thank you all again for taking the time to read and for your support.