For another perspective, the child I fed for the longest time - until after she started school (now don’t diss it til you try it!) is now 15 and confidently hugged me goodbye and left on a plane for 6 mnths exchange in Japan last week.
Really, it works exactly as the child psychology books(the good ones say) The ones you hold the closest, who are most securely attached grow up to be amazingly confident and secure teens and adults, and move away from their parents earlier, from that secure base. It took me the longitudinal study to work that out!
Don’t forget, toddlers are difficult and irritable. Without the boob they would be difficult, whiny and irritable. With the boob they are still difficult, whiny and irritable. There is not escape for parents - but at least you have “knockout drops”. You can apply some gentle discipline at the breast (that’s where it all starts IMO) Let them know what is acceptable and what’s not. That may produce a tantrum, but then you’d get one of those breastfed or not. And there’s time for your partner, work, all that stuff when they are gone.