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I was having major issues with multiple side swaps and bedtime draaaaaging until I finally figured out I was pregnant and thought maybe my supply was low. Also DD just didn't seem tired at 7. So it was like she drank all the milk, then at 8 when she was actually tired there was nothing there and she'd get cranky.
Now we leave her be after her shower. Somehow she always chooses 8 to go to bed. Now it's a lot quicker, way less fiddling, and I get in and out and have more time for me/DH
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For another perspective, the child I fed for the longest time - until after she started school (now don’t diss it til you try it!) is now 15 and confidently hugged me goodbye and left on a plane for 6 mnths exchange in Japan last week.
Really, it works exactly as the child psychology books(the good ones say) The ones you hold the closest, who are most securely attached grow up to be amazingly confident and secure teens and adults, and move away from their parents earlier, from that secure base. It took me the longitudinal study to work that out!
Don’t forget, toddlers are difficult and irritable. Without the boob they would be difficult, whiny and irritable. With the boob they are still difficult, whiny and irritable. There is not escape for parents - but at least you have “knockout drops”. You can apply some gentle discipline at the breast (that’s where it all starts IMO) Let them know what is acceptable and what’s not. That may produce a tantrum, but then you’d get one of those breastfed or not. And there’s time for your partner, work, all that stuff when they are gone.
Registered User
For another perspective, the child I fed for the longest time - until after she started school (now don’t diss it til you try it!) is now 15 and confidently hugged me goodbye and left on a plane for 6 mnths exchange in Japan last week.
Really, it works exactly as the child psychology books(the good ones say) The ones you hold the closest, who are most securely attached grow up to be amazingly confident and secure teens and adults, and move away from their parents earlier, from that secure base. It took me the longitudinal study to work that out!
Don’t forget, toddlers are difficult and irritable. Without the boob they would be difficult, whiny and irritable. With the boob they are still difficult, whiny and irritable. There is not escape for parents - but at least you have “knockout drops”. You can apply some gentle discipline at the breast (that’s where it all starts IMO) Let them know what is acceptable and what’s not. That may produce a tantrum, but then you’d get one of those breastfed or not. And there’s time for your partner, work, all that stuff when they are gone.
Registered User
Had exactly the same when I was pregnant!
I was having major issues with multiple side swaps and bedtime draaaaaging until I finally figured out I was pregnant and thought maybe my supply was low. Also DD just didn't seem tired at 7. So it was like she drank all the milk, then at 8 when she was actually tired there was nothing there and she'd get cranky.
Now we leave her be after her shower. Somehow she always chooses 8 to go to bed. Now it's a lot quicker, way less fiddling, and I get in and out and have more time for me/DH
I love having a mute button! For the crazy toddler when I'm on the phone, or whatever, just whip it out for instant hush.
Last night I used boob time to teach my DD1 some protective behaviours. She likes putting her foot on the vacant boob; I do not. So I told her so, and talked about being in charge of my body and that I can say Stop when I don't like something, and that she can too.
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just shy of 3y10m here and still going far stronger than i thought we would be!
DD has done pretty much all the stuff that you have listed - the nipple tweaking (breast feeding necklace helped HEAPS with this!), multiple side swapping, feeding all night... it's been the most physically and mentally exhausting part of parenting - but at the same time, it's given us a bond i never thought was possible.
Late last year she was all but weaned - she'd had bronchitis on top of a cold - and the simple act of feeding was making her cough (breathing through her nose meant snot being sucked in and tickling her throat) - the cough was resulting in multiple vomit every night and she was just over it - so she curled up in my arms, hand on boob, and went to sleep like that every night. but then she decided to start again when she came good - so every few nights she'd have a drink. then she got tonsilitis in January, severe dehydration, and boob was ALL she seemed to want and could manage - so feeding ramped up again. much to the (surprising) delight of the paed in emergency who was at the point of "drink or you'll be on the drip". so since january, we've been back to at leat a feed every night before bed - quite often in the morning on the days i don't work too
mostly i'm ok with it - sometimes it drives me nuts, but mostly i'm ok with it. i've asked her if she is ever going to wean - she says yes, then says "not today though!". she shares with Daddy, tells me that one boob (her least fave one) tastes like cows milk, the other like mummy milk - it's very different feeding a little person that can tell you this stuff lol
Teeki (i think!) - you mentioned the faffing about and changing feed time - i've had to do that several times. if DD isn't tired enough, she won't go to sleep - but will feed and feed and feed (well, attempt to feed!) - it drives me bonkers - so now i hold out til i know she is tired enough and usually she is out cold pretty quickly.
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
From around 12 months or so I found with both kids that they would only feed to sleep at bedtime if they hadn't had a day sleep. i just made it a bedtime feed, rather than a feed to sleep.
That's beautiful BG. A friend of mine's son described it as 'melted icecream'.
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DD describes it as several different tastes, but mostly "yummy like strawberry smoothie that daddy makes us!"
i'm glad this thread has been created - i haven't visited the BF threads much lately, simply because i forget so much of the early stuff - even the "just turned 1" aspects seem so very long ago - but at least there will be some other people who get the fun (and frustrations) of feeding an older child in here!
Registered User
When I see newborns being fed I'm kind of in awe, they're so tiny compared to my gangly boy, and feeding looks so neat. I'm an out and proud ABAer, and one of the best parts of my group is that there's a lot of extended feeders, so I feel really normal (well, relatively). I do censure myself in some situations, so it's nice to have another safe place to talk about stuff in.
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