Breastfeeding Beyond 12 Months

[Eenee]

Congrats Bhoysgirl! What an amazing achievement!

[~TT40~]

wow! Fantastic B!

[*beannaithe*]

G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

[leckert]

G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

I've found ds2 does this and ouch the underside of my nipple cause that's where he digs in his teeth. Thankfully he only does one side at a time ; can't wait for whichever teeth/tooth comes through next.

[Jennifer13]

Congrats Bhoysgirl! That's a huge achievement!

[HotI]

G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

Yep. their latch can change as their mouth changes with the addition of teeth. The good thing with older babies is that you can talk to them and encourage a bigger mouth (like a lion!) and work with them to try to adjust it. If her mouth is sore, you can also offer a cold face washer for her to suck on before she feeds. it can reduce bub biting down because the cold numbs her mouth a little.

[~TT40~]

Spock still comfort feeds for hours. Sometimes I really struggle to get her off the breast. like a newborn. is this common in 13 1/2 mth olds? im not crazy worried just want to know if it's normsl or not

[Rowellen]

DD still does that sometimes at 27 months TT40, usually in the early hours of the morning. And if I say no more, she throws a tanty and screams loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood.

DH & I had a bit of a fight over me still feeding DD the other day

[~TT40~]

Nice to know others have it.
What was his issue with it?

[Rowellen]

That I'm still doing it! He only sees the negatives. Every negative that anyone could think of, he believes. You know the ones - she's two, she's just manipulating you, you should have stopped when she started asking for it, she might sleep through if you stop feeding her, she'll still be feeding when she's 18 blah blah. He ignores that fact that she has barely ever been sick, her brain development will no doubt be awesome due to my attentiveness, the fact it is biologically normal for a child her age to feed and need mum for comfort. At her age, DS was still waking through the night. I was dealing with him plus a newborn! He's now sleeping through. I'm sure, given time she will too. It doesn't really matter what he thinks, I'm the mum & I'm the one who deals with her during the night. He's not willing to give up his sleep to do sleep training because I refuse to do it so I'll do it my way lol. It worked for DS. Even though he wasn't BF, he still had bottles and dummies and lots of mummy cuddles back then and look at him now. He's an awesome independent sleeper. I also told him when he's prepared to do the reading and research on what's best for DD (rather than his wants), then I might listen to him. But as I am the one who has done hours upon hours of reading books, websites, forums for what is best, then he can just shut up and lump it. I might whinge & complain about it at times and wish she would wean but I'd never force her before she's ready. My, that turned into an almighty rant. Oops :/

[Jennifer13]

We haven't had it with bfing, but parenting disagreements are not uncommon, Rowellen. I feel for you, especially since you'd like to complain about the parts of it you have every right to complain about!

Sounds like you have all the positives sorted and I'm sure you're more than ready to point them out to him. My DP is dreading having a nb in the house with our high-maintenance toddler, because he's worried he'll have to do the night time settling for her! FWIW, I night weaned both my girls by 18 mths (although I have a feeling pg has contributed to it for DD2 who would was a much more committed night time bfer than DD1) and continued to bf at other times (DD1 for more than 2 years after that, DD2 is still going atm), so if you do feel that there's a compromise, night weaning won't necessarily end your bfing relationship with your DD. But if you're fine with continuing to bf her during the night, there's no need to stop.

[Ladylove]

Girls how on earth do you night wean? DD won't have a bar of it. If she wakes she tends to be hysterical and only a BF settles her.

I'm only feeding DD once or twice now. She's 17 months. I feed before bed at night and if she wakes during the night, which is not always. I thought she wasn't really taking anything at her bedtime feed as it *feels* like she is just nibbling or lightly sucking and my boobs look pre-pregnancy if not smaller, but we missed a bedtime feed this week and by the middle of the next day they felt so swollen and full so she must be drinking a bit.

[Rowellen]

Thanks Jennifer, I've been trying to gently night wean. DD won't have a bar of it. Sometimes she'll protest for a minute or two and go back to sleep but other times she launches into a full on tantrum and that's not fun for anyone. It doesn't bother me usually. Only the nights, like last night when she wakes every 2 -3 hours asking for boobie. It's like having a newbie again. But we co-sleep so it's minimal disturbance really.

Ladylove, my DD's 27 months and still feeds during the night. I tend to give in because it's easier than dealing with the screaming and groping. I found it easier with DS to night wean because he was on formula by that stage. I reduced the amount in the bottle gradually then just stopped and gave him a dummy and patted him. Not so easy with the breast. You can remove the breast from bub's mouth but it's still there. My DD rarely settles for DH if I'm home. She just screams louder & louder. But having your DH help could work for you.

[Jennifer13]

With DD1, she really wasn't bfing at night for quite a while and then went back to it around 16 mths. I ended it by offering water and snuggling. DD1 is an easy going child and after a few nights of fuss, she stopped.

DD2 is not so easy going and consistently fed during the night until about 17 mths. She suddenly started eating more food and I cut down her bfs to three a day and none overnight. Pg may have helped. Ironically, where it used to take me ages to settle her if she woke with a bf, now I just need to lie her back down after a quick cuddle. She still has occasional wakeful (awful) nights, but they're a lot less frequent now.

[Ladylove]

Thanks girls. I've decided not to bother night weaning especially as she doesn't wake every night and I can handle one feed if she does. Also, out of the blue she is refusing her bedtime feed! Point blank refuses or has a suck or two then sits up and it's all over. I had been thinking of fully weaning that feed but now that she's saying 'no' I am not sure I'm ready! No idea why she's refusing all of a sudden.

[Ladylove]

So DD still doesn't want to feed at night! She didn't even try. Last night she had the smallest amount. Tonight I asked her if she wanted mama milk and she resolutely shook her head then fell asleep! I've realised I'm not ready to give up that feed. It's odd that she won't feed as otherwise she is extra clingy at the moment- follows me everywhere, cries if DH picks her up, and won't go to sleep at night without a huge fight because she wants to be with me. I would have thought she'd be mad about BF since she can't get enough of me right now but that's not the case.

[Cookie36]

It's been a while - there has been a lot of catching up to do!

My DD decided to wean herself, 3 days shy of 17 months. I decided to stop offering, but had a no refusal theory. And then suddenly, when I was about 3 weeks pregnant, she stopped asking. I had always intended to wean if I became pregnant again (though not until about 12 weeks), so when she eventually did ask again, I explained to her that she didn't need it anymore, which resulted in a small tanty, picked her up, gave her breakfast, and all was forgotten and forgiven.

TT40 (and I think someone else as well, sorry I've forgotten who!) DD was a really quick feeder, 10 minutes per side at 11 days old, sometime after she was 12 months, I encouraged her to drop to 2 feeds a day (a good morning feed and a good night feed), and it was sometime after that that all of a sudden she started nursing forever...I'd often kick her off a side after 45 minutes! I had the feeling she wasn't drinking much, that it was just comfort. One night I had to be away for good night feed, so I had expressed (I got 40ml out of 2 sessions!) - I told DH to give her soy if she wanted more. Anyway, he gave her the meagre amount of milk, she happily drank it and then continued to suck on the teat. DH took the bottle away and she screamed blue bloody murder. He gave it back, and DD happily sucked on the end of the empty teat, and eventually smiled and let it go - proving my theory.

Even though it's been a month since her last feed, when I have her up on my hip she still fingers the lining of my favourite jumper (which is something she liked to do when she was nursing). Just because they stop the nursing, doesn't mean they can't still can't find comfort from you in non-milk forms.

BG - could it have been ovulation? That apparently can affect the supply and flavour, so maybe that was the problem - it just didn't taste as expected and the "there's no milk" was actually "there's not the milk I'm used to"? (Although I'd like to point out that while my DD weaned at 3 weeks with my current pregnancy, she never skipped a beat with the pregnancy I lost in May, so don't read too much into a correlation between supply and pregnancy!)

Ladylove - could it be a little one has snuck its way into your belly? Like I mentioned (!) DD weaned before I even officially knew I was pregnant, but a few days later she became SUPER CLINGY!!! Exactly like you described - god help anyone who attempted to get between her and her Mumma!

Luna - another name change? Anyone would think you were trying to hide from me

For those of you thinking of weaning - do what is best for you and your relationship with your children - you don't want to be having resentful thoughts - you can always find another way to bond with your children - I stroke DD's hair and face before I put her down to sleep, and she has just started doing the same to me when she's ready to go to bed at night - it's adorable.

For those of you having weaning forced upon you, yes, it hurts to think your bubba doesn't need that anymore, but it's easier than the emotional heartbreak you might have to go through later if at some point you need to force your bub to wean! It's a transition, much like your relationships with your DP's now are not the same as the relationship you had when you were first dating in that cute-courting period. You have to let go of some of the nicer elements of that stage, but it also grows to develop into something else.

to all!

[Cookie36]

Who doesn't love a double post? (stop asking me if I want to navigate away and lose my work - of course I'm going to say no and try again!)