Breastfeeding Beyond 12 Months

[wysiwyg]

DS is 22.5 months so have now been feeding him longer than did DD who gave up at 22 months when I was pregnant. Morning and Evening only unless I am at home and then he feeds before day sleep. Hoping to get to 2years but have a couple of trips away with work so will have to see what he does - last time he went three days without but as soon as I was back was back to normal. Might be away more like five this time. He calls it Mo Mo and this morning after feed he said "No like Mo Mo" but tonight was asking again.

My parents although pro breastfeeding don't think I should be feeding him anymore and have mum and dad soon staying with us. Personally I think is just because mum never fed past about 15 months - I wish they didn't think it but at least they don't pressure me and are generally quite silent in their disapproval.

[Rosey]

Thank you all for the replies

[luna moth]

I'm thinking about giving up with my big girl. I feel like it's ruining our relationship - every conversation seems to start with "have some milk?" and I'm not really enjoying it anymore. But that's pretty one-sided, she just loves it so much, and I have always wanted to go down the self-weaning route. Just having a bit of a hard time, I guess. I've already wound her back to only (!) 4 feeds a day, max - when she wakes up and when she's going to sleep. So if she doesn't have a sleep, she doesn't get boob. It's out and out bribery to have a sleep, but I am mostly OK with that

[~TT40~]

maybe make set times. sort of like you have but do it with an amount that your comfortable. and make it really clear that then is the only time/place so she doesn't ask.

[HotI]

Tandem feeding is really tough. I too had to wind back on feeds, so that i was able to continue. The changeover period was rough, but once DD got used to and accepted it, it became easier again. I also questioned whether the benefits of feeding were outweighed by how i was feeling. As DS got older, i was able to be more active and found that DD was more able to go without feeds because i wasn't sitting down in the feeding position.
I'm still not sure whether long term weaning is better than a more concentrated term of weaning. Now i am kinda at the end, i am content that i kept going, but if i was in the same position again i reckon i could also be happy stopping earlier.
take care of yourself whatever you decide.

[briggsy's girl]

I don't want to feed her any more.

I really really don't. Her attachment is getting really lazy and I am constantly ending up sore. I can't relax. And adding to other stress at the moment it just isn't working. I engendered told dh tonight I want him to do the whole night thing now.

Hate that I'm reacting this way but I just don't know if I have the patience to do it any differently. She was asleep and is now awake again and I'm so frustrated. She can easily go to sleep without boob but refuses. Sigh.

[~TT40~]

that's tough BG. But you have put in 4 fantastic years!!! you need to feel comfortable and enjoy it, and if you don't it is best to stop. you don't want bf to have a dark miserable side to it, when it is something beautiful and a special bond you and E have shared for so long. I have no advice, but wanted to offer some cyber love and support.

[luna moth]

Aww, BG, that sounds really hard. I can tell DD to fix her attachment by saying "ahhh" and getting on properly, which she does, but I'm sure you've probably tried. You'll make the right choice.

I spoke to an ABA counsellor today about my own situation and I'm feeling heaps better. And my DD1 looks to be fighting a bug or cold, and that was ll it took for me to remember how much I love breastfeeding, even though it isn't always fun.

HotI - Tandem feeding IS hard. I wish I'd known; I probably would have done things differently. But thanks

[HotI]

Breastfeeding 'strike' at 17 months? Actually not really a strike, he just wants to beat up on me at the same time and when I wont let him he won't feed. He feeds ok overnight, when he is sleepy, but day feeds are pretty ordinary. I kinda remember DD doing it, but her desire for a feed was greater and so if I stopped the feed until she stopped the pinching etc then she would still feed. Any advice?

[Arcadia]

DS was a shocking pincher. I would just get his hand and stroke saying gentle and if repeated end the feed. If he cried I would repeat gentle hands, get him to stroke, then try again. If he repeated feed was over. It sucks massively because it contributed to night waking for us ie he wanted to catch up on feeds at night.

Now at 26 months he just wants to nipple tweak the whole time and I'm completely jack of it.

I'm on the path to weaning. Having fed every single day for 4.5 years straight I'm over it. DS is lucky to get a feed a day at the moment and he is hating it, but I've hit a wall and I can't really see the benefits of continuing. I certainly won't be feeding through another pg and tandem feeding. While it was fine while I did it, it was very draining in the long term.

Ahem. Excuse the rant!

[Jennifer13]

Hmmmm DD2 has cut back to three bfs a day and I'm a bit concerned that has dropped my supply a bit too.

Hot1 - How many bfs is he having in 24 hrs? Maybe try to shift his bfs to day time, ie restrict during the night? Not really sure, though!

Arcadia - hugs. By almost four yrs with DD1 I was so ready and encouraged her to stop. And that was just one child bfing! You have done so well.

[Ladylove]

DD is down to two! I weaned off one daytime feed for work and fertility reasons then had a don't offer don't refuse 'policy' for her afternoon feed, which she soon stopped so it is just first thing in the morning and I still feed to sleep... Or not to sleep but to that zoned out happy sleepy state. I thought she was weaning the first thing in the morning feed too but in the last week she's decided it's a keeper after all. After my miscarriage I was hoping she wouldn't take more feeds as I'm worried it's impeding my fertility so was hoping she would drop that feed.

[HotI]

I hear ya, Arcadia. I don't know that i could tandem again. I would need a break so that i started to look forward to it again for the new bub.

It's not that DS pinches, he just wants to have one hand stuck in my armpit and the other holding on to my breast. I am fine with feeding, i just don't want a grope to go along with it. And when i try to move his arms he starts banging my chest.

He only has 1 or 2 feeds overnight, usually 1 and then sometimes an early morning one which gets him back to sleep and then i sneak out. He is probably having 5 feeds in 24 hours, but last few days only 1 or 2 are good feeds, and these are late ones.

I am scared that he will wean, but then because i am also kinda looking forward to it, scared that i will do something to cause him to wean, and then i will regret it. i am probably a bit confused cos of DD recently weaning (i think - she had 1 small feed last week).

DD also has her first cold when she is not breastfeeding. She never liked ebm so i can't even offer her that. I feel like i have lost the security blanket/extra immune factors that breastfeeding gave her.

[briggsy's girl]

Got told last night "mummy, there no milk".

I want to wean but wanted it to be a mutual thing. Not my milk just drying up. No idea why either

[BellyBelly]

Bubba BG?

[luna moth]

HotI, I would just keep doing what you're doing. Don't let him beat up on you. As long as you've got the energy to stop him, stop him, and hopefully it will pass.

My DD jammed her finger in the bathroom door last night, and I just felt so bad for her. Was still feeling bad at 4 am so let her have her first night feed in months. Hoping she doesn't want to repeat the episode!

I'm still not loving feeding her. 90% of the time when she asks for it I'm groaning on the inside.

BG - I think it's rarely truly mutual. You've given her a wonderful gift.

[luna moth]

HotI, I would just keep doing what you're doing. Don't let him beat up on you. As long as you've got the energy to stop him, stop him, and hopefully it will pass.

My DD jammed her finger in the bathroom door last night, and I just felt so bad for her. Was still feeling bad at 4 am so let her have her first night feed in months. Hoping she doesn't want to repeat the episode!

I'm still not loving feeding her. 90% of the time when she asks for it I'm groaning on the inside.

BG - I think it's rarely truly mutual. You've given her a wonderful gift.

[briggsy's girl]

Bubba BG?

Sincerely doubt it - have lost two more since E, and neither time had any drama with milk supply
i think it's probably due to a crap load of stress at the moment with work/health stuff - and that it's not as comfortable to feed on that side for either of us - so she opts for the other side so demand just isn't there

i had a bit of a cry last night. DH asked me why - i said because it's the only thing that i did for her that was purely ME. no intervention. i couldn't get and stay pregnant, had to have a c/s due to issues - BF was the one thing my body did that was natural and right and ALL ME. and now there will be nothing else that ONLY I can do for her. it might not be the same to have Daddy cuddle her if she is hurt, but he CAN. he can't BF - that has always been just me. so i'm sad.

and realistically, i think it was a moment of accepting no more baby days. ever. kwim?