This weekend we went to bunnings and as always the big girls had a play on the play ground. DD3 was hungry so I sat down to feed her and another mum was doing the same with her five month old and we struck up a conversation. She was telling me an older lady had walked past a few minutes before and given her a little card which she showed me. I can't remember the exact words but it in a nutshell it said 'from one mum to another thank you for breastfeeding in public and making it easier for other mums to do the same'. It had made this mums day from what she was telling me
I love the sentiment but the card giving seems a bit strange to me, I guess having a conversation with someone and telling them seems a little more 'natural' to me but then you dont always get that opportunity. What are your thoughts?
I actually like the idea! I try not to look weird when I smile at breastfeeding mums, but I want to support them! A card would achieve this. Interested to read other replies.
What if the person doesn't want to feel fussed over?
Not everyone who breastfeeds wants to be seen as making a political statement.
I wouldn't hand a card out to a same sex couple showing affection/kissing or an overweight person tucking into a meal with relish, so why would I hand one to a breastfeeding mother?
I would be creeped out. When I BFed Liebling in public it was because he needed a feed, not to make a statement or to support other people, just to support Liebling. TBH, I'd be upset a passerby had not only noticed but felt the need to give me a card. A card? A political card, at that. No thanks. Just let me parent the way I want without your written opinion on it, be it good or bad.
I don't mind a smile, or but even a "how nice to see a baby being breastfed" is starting to be a bit too close for me!
I loved it when people acknowledged me breastfeeding. I think the point is to encourage women who BF in public, because there is so much negative association with it and lots of people sneer and turn their noses up. I don't really see the harm. It's not about making a political statement, it's about banding together and making others feel like breast feeding in public isn't something to be ashamed about. If being given a card or being told 'good for you're whatever makes someone feel uncomfortable, well, the good news is it's certainly not going to be happening very often. I'd prefer a convo as opposed to a card too.
I find the concept of communicating by giving someone a card instead of talking to them creepy, regardless of the message. A smile is far easier to give than a card and it uses less resources too.
I think it's more that I dislike being judged for parenting choices. Sure, so this is supportive judgement. But as a mother who did mixed feeding, saying "well done for BFing in public" is also saying "I'm glad that the formula/EBM feeds are shameful and behind closed doors".
I parent the way that's best for Liebling and other people telling me that they approve or not is, quite frankly, none of their business. To be planned enough to give a card... not only is it wasteful, it is "I know what parenting I think is best and I support: you better do it", so even if I am doing it at that point, I still feel uneasy for the choices I make that these people don't like and for the others. Are there cards that say "SHAME ON YOU, bad bottle-feeding mother"? That's what I would wonder.
BAL, don't worry, if you'd creeped/offended me you'd have been told.
If I was given a card I'd think it was a little weird! I still breastfeed DD in public when she needs it (which is rare now anyway) and every now and then a stranger will need to have some kind of interaction with me. What I appreciate the most is that they look me in the eye, talk to me as they would anyone else, and basically behave as if DD wasn't having a drink. That's the way I prefer it, there's no need to draw attention to it, I'm just feeding my baby! Just the same as I wouldn't expect anyone to bring attention to anything else my DD is doing while they talk to me about an unrelated topic.
I find it quite rude for those mums out there who would love to breastfeed and can't.
No one sees them feeding with a bottle and gives them a card saying nice try sorry you can't breastfeed but good on you for not starving your child.
I am breast feeding number three bubs and I did with number two also. But our first bub had a bilateral cleft lip and could not breastfeed. I exclusively expressed for 10 months and he had nothing but my breastmilk but from a bottle. Nobody ever asked me if it was formula or breastmilk and I know I was judged because he was feeding from a bottle. It's very rude and made me mad I was being judged and I felt like screaming from the top of my lungs every time I fed him "this bottle has breastmilk in it "
So I think the cards are stupid.
The cards were only talking about breastfeeding, not bottle feeding. Same old thing, if you say anything good about breastfeeding it seems to mean you're really trying to say that all formula feeders are terrible mothers. No, that's not the case.
Sure, some people would like the cards, some would think they're weird but it's pretty obvious their intention wasn't negative.
I don't think that acknowledging the BFing is normal, or that BM is the best way to nourish your child is saying Formula Is Evil. Because those are facts.
But this card would make me feel that I would be judged negatively for using a bottle in public, because it IS a judgement card on using BFing, even if it is a positive one. It is an opinion, a judgement, not a fact. Or that I was making a political statement. Or that my breasts were up for public comment - which is what I really hate about the current "girls wearing next to nothing to advertise everything" culture (or should that be un-culture) we currently have.
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