Breastfeeding Cards

[Rouge]

I guess that's the point. For whatever reason some people still worry about publicly breastfeeding. And even though it might not have been received as intended, as said I do think the intention is good.

Everyone is different. Support is what's needed not criticism. And I think that's what these cards were meant as. And if it seems weird to you be grateful that you don't need that kind of support.

[PumpkinZulu]

N2L, probably because FF is such an accepted norm now, and because society generally has a pretty warped view of breastfeeding being sexual and unnecessary. Everyone wants to see a woman's tits until she wants to use them to feed her baby...then it's wrong, it's making FF mothers feel bad, it's something that should be done in private etc etc. In general, there is an overall very negative attitude towards breastfeeding in public.

[e_p]

That's harsh, and more than a little offensive.

I was actually curious why young women would feel nervous. I wondered if women from my generation/older women had a different attitude.

I thought your comment 'if you won't stick up for your child who will you stick up for' was pretty harsh and offensive and shows zero support or understanding for women who don't feel confident feeding their babies in public.

Maybe other young women feel nervous because there are overwhelming messages that breastfeeding in public is indecent and shameful and perverted and invites attention from men when you're just trying to feed your hungry baby? I don't know. I only know why I feel nervous and I explained why (not that I should have to).

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Maybe other young women feel nervous because there are overwhelming messages that breastfeeding in public is indecent and shameful and perverted and invites attention from men when you're just trying to feed your hungry baby? I don't know. I only know why I feel nervous and I explained why (not that I should have to).

I think this is a reason I don't like the cards. Not just the judgemental thing (I dislike positive judgement as it does have negative judgement on the flipside) but "hey, I checked you BREAST feeding." As a PP said, breasts are seen as sexual these days and someone looking and giving me a card is creepy. It makes me feel that I'm just a body part, and then you get into the objectification of women/increase of sexual abuse and attacks... it's feeding a child. Feel free to ignore me feed and treat me as a normal human while I do it. Just don't draw attention to my breasts, now or ever.

[e_p]

I don't think there's anything remotely sexual about feeding my child. If someone gave me a card encouraging me for breastfeeding in public, I'd consider it as that - support for feeding my child....not 'good on your for displaying your sex organs'. If someone came told me 'oh good on you for getting your boobs out I could never do that because men might look' I'd find that weird - I'm feeding my baby, not getting my boobs out.

[nothing2lose]

Exactly Eutra. You are feeding your baby, not getting your boobs out. So why care what anyone else thinks?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Whether people see breasts as sexual or not, it's still reducing me to a body part. In my eyes. I think because women are reduced to body parts so much these days, sexual or not. I am a mother, not just a breastfeeder.

[PumpkinZulu]

I guess some people would go further and suggest that you're more than just a mother, you're an individual, not just a mother I really, really don't think it would be too devastating for a woman to have someone say, props to you for feeling confident enough to BF your baby in public. Happened to me a few times and it always made me feel great. If it didn't for some reason or other, like I already said, it doesn't happen often, so it's not a huge concern.

[e_p]

Exactly Eutra. You are feeding your baby, not getting your boobs out. So why care what anyone else thinks?

I don't have the patience to explain to you the interaction between the way being sexually assaulted by a stranger affects a persons sense of safety interacts with the common perception that breastfeeding is sexual.

Like I said, if you don't care what anyone thinks, great for you. Keep it up.

[Rouge]

It's easy to say don't feel a certain way. Butte reality is its not that easy. Or I'm sure we'd all be hang up free but we aren't. It's learned. And it takes time and experience. Some people are lucky to be surrounded by social groups where it's the norm. Others not so. But I think the more praise we give each other the better we will be and hopefully it will be easier for our daughters

[leesha]

Ok this thread has completely derailed...

[Rouge]

Just a bit was thinking of saying the same. Sooooo back on topic...

I personally understand the idea but think maybe the wording is a bit off.

[Teeki]

I had to go back to the original post to see what the wording was But I actually think it's nice.

I think it's just that for me, breastfeeding is already so normal, wherever I'm doing it. I see plenty of women breastfeeding and I don't get negative comments. So to actually receive a card bringing attention to it would be odd for me. Clearly it's different for everyone, but these are my thoughts were I to receive a thanks for breastfeeding card.

[wysiwyg]

I think the cards are quite nice because they are not about how you choose to feed your baby but acknowledging the fact that more people feeding in public will make it easier for others to feed in public. Others perceptions may not make any difference to some people but they do to many and for many reasons.

I consider it a blessing that I don't give two hoots what others think about all aspects of my life but I know it is not easy for many people and often that is through circumstance not choice.

[misty]

I just think, if the mum is breastfeeding in public, then she isn't the one who needs encouragement (least of all via a card). If you are going to give me a card I would much rather one that says "you're doing a fabulous job being a parent and keeping your cool when your kids are pushing all your buttons". That kind of support I could use. I don't need public support to breastfeed, it would feel a bit like someone congratulating me for being able to use a toilet - I would think it weird and unnessecary, and likely think the person giving me one was more then a little overenthusiastic. I wouldn't think anything 'bad' of them, I would just think that maybe they weren't perhaps very confident of their parenting decisions.

[MummyNaomi]

Wow! I'm so disappointed that as a society and as a sisterhood of Mums we cant just accept the gesture for what it is - a show of support for breastfeeding in public
I really cant see how the cards are
*acknowledgement that the mother is breastfeeding instead of formula feeding
* acknowledging a political statement being made
It's just what it is - a Mum celebrating another normalising breastfeeding. Why do we look for underlying issues that aren't there (the breast v bottle debate etc)

This thread actually really saddens me that we just can gracefully accept a bit of praise/well meant support/acknowledgement from a nice stranger. Seriously this just shows me what is wrong in society today, we cant just accept well meaning gestures without wondering/speculating/dissecting/interpreting the message.

I breastfeed in public and am emotionally comfortable to do so, and I appreciate that others are comfortable and supportive of it. Frankly I find it preferable not to, I struggle to get great attachment and feel physically uncomfortable as I prefer to sit in a nice supportive chair and use a breastfeeding pillow to position bubs perfectly, this is rarely possible out of my own little comfort zone. I do however feel confident breastfeeding in public as my baby needs to be fed, and if anyone said anything negative I'd stick up for myself and probably lecture them, but I am aware that some people will be judging me (not that it makes me stop), so being acknowledged for doing it would sit fine with me.

When breastfeeding my first, I wasn't as confident, so this type of acknowledgement would have grown my confidence much faster

We really are our own worst enemy aren't we - we carry on about Mums being judged all the time, and yet when acknowledgement is given we find issue with that as well - It's the old damned if you do, damned if you don't catch 22

[LimeSlice]

Wow! I'm so disappointed that as a society and as a sisterhood of Mums we cant just accept the gesture for what it is - a show of support for breastfeeding in public
I really cant see how the cards are
*acknowledgement that the mother is breastfeeding instead of formula feeding
* acknowledging a political statement being made
It's just what it is - a Mum celebrating another normalising breastfeeding. Why do we look for underlying issues that aren't there (the breast v bottle debate etc)

This thread actually really saddens me that we just can gracefully accept a bit of praise/well meant support/acknowledgement from a nice stranger. Seriously this just shows me what is wrong in society today, we cant just accept well meaning gestures without wondering/speculating/dissecting/interpreting the message.

I breastfeed in public and am emotionally comfortable to do so, and I appreciate that others are comfortable and supportive of it. Frankly I find it preferable not to, I struggle to get great attachment and feel physically uncomfortable as I prefer to sit in a nice supportive chair and use a breastfeeding pillow to position bubs perfectly, this is rarely possible out of my own little comfort zone. I do however feel confident breastfeeding in public as my baby needs to be fed, and if anyone said anything negative I'd stick up for myself and probably lecture them, but I am aware that some people will be judging me (not that it makes me stop), so being acknowledged for doing it would sit fine with me.

When breastfeeding my first, I wasn't as confident, so this type of acknowledgement would have grown my confidence much faster

We really are our own worst enemy aren't we - we carry on about Mums being judged all the time, and yet when acknowledgement is given we find issue with that as well - It's the old damned if you do, damned if you don't catch 22

[wysiwyg]

So well put mummynaomi I wish I had your eloquence.