so i have experienced a few comments about breastfeeding which has gotten me down a bit, also the fact that i no longer feel attractive (never really did anyway), nor in the "mood" (given that i only had a baby 5wks ago) because im always sitting around with my BB's hanging out feedin Miss Em, the thought of ever being in the mood again.... i just don't is possible!
so much to my regret im thinking of throwing in the towel and changing over to formula! so my question is how do i do it? do u do it gradually? if so how gradual? or do i just out DD2 straight onto it?
Hi there,
sometimes the bottle is held out as a gleaming beacon at the end of a long hard pregnancy road. but rarely does it change things the way people hope it will. Babies are still babies, regardless of how they are fed. You still spend an enormous amount of time sitting on the couch feeding - even when it's via the bottle. You are still tired and touched out. the good news is, regardless of how you feed your baby, it all changes. Thee first 6weeks with a new baby are bloody hard. It's
Never the way we thought it would be , but it gets better, Libido returns whether you are breastfeeding or not - but it takes some time . This is one of the biggest life changes you have ever been through.
There are plenty of support services out there. I wonder if you are feeling a little depressed? Bottle feeding won't ease this -bottle-feeding mums are at greater risk of depression that breastfeeding mothers. How does your partner feel about this? Parenting is a team sport and both parents need to fully participate.
If you decide to formula feed ideally do it slowly, replace 1 breastfeed with a bottle feed every few days. This helps your body adjust and make less milk. And if your baby doesn't do well on formula it gives you the opportunity to increase your supply again.
Oh hun, it sounds like you are finding things tough at the moment As Barb has said, we do all tend to feel like this with a baby so young - everything is new, they need so much time and energy and with all the hormones and lack of sleep, sex is the last thing you want. Many mums feel that things would be ok if only they didn't need to breastfeed so often - but then they find that bottle feeding can be even more work by the time you make up the formula and wash the bottles, and without the feel good hormones that are released when you breastfeed things can seem even harder.
Are you going for a 6 week check up at all, or having a health nurse come to the house? It might be that you that your health professional can check things out and rule out any PND or anything like that. It is also helpful to know that things do get better - the first 6 - 12 weeks really are the hardest. That might seem like a long time when you're in the middle of it, but in reality it's not long in the scheme of things.
I hope you start to feel better soon hun And if you do decide to try weaning, Barb's suggestion of doing it slowly is really the best way to go about it so that you don't end up sore and uncomfortable or worse, with mastitis. You really don't need anything like that right now when you're just getting by
Oh hon, our breastfeeding stories are quite similar, i fed ds1 for about 4 days before i changed him over to formula. He was a sleepy jaundiced baby, i was a first time mum who felt comletely out of her depth and in hindsight i think i also suffered from a bit of PND so i put him on formula and never looked back.
When i was preg with DS2 i was very vocal about how i wanted to bf him and how i would do my best to feed him. In the back of my mind though i just dont think i ever expected that it would work. He however had other ideas and came out wanting to feed and feed he did. I was shocked by how i felt, I had this baby who wanted to feed and did so very well (we had a few minor issues with oversupply etc in the early days) and tbh i felt trapped. This time i really had no reason to give up. I felt terrible about feeling this way and ended up talking up the issues we were having bf to make myself feel better about not really feeling like i wanted to bf. It also didnt help that ds2 was alot more unsettled tham ds1 and i put that down to him being bf.
Dh really pushed me to keep going as he really wanted me to bf ds2 and he knew that when i was preg i really wanted to do it too. So i gave myself short term goals. My first was 6 weeks as i wanted it recorded in his blue book that he was being exclusively breastfed and i figured that everyone says that it gets easier at 6 weeks so id stick it out till then. We got to 6 weeks and my next goal is 12 weeks (which im now a week shy of). After that i want to get to 6 months and then ill reassess from there.
The first weeks are so tough and i still find some days so tough. Some days i just wanted to cry coz i was stuck on the couch all day feeding while ds1 ran around mental getting into everything and as Barb says i saw the bottle as some beacon of hope that my child would be settled and sleep through and life would be perfect. I felt unattractive and my body felt different and felt as it didn't belong to me anymore. I still feel this way and i struggle with that alot too. I figure though that even if i didnt have that close contact of bf i would still have zero libido as being a mother of 2 is bloody hard work and who has time for that kinda stuff lol. Im not the kind of person that loves breastfeeding but i do find it alot easier than i did when ds2 was miss em's age.
I guess what im trying to say is that it does get easier and im not just saying that, im living it right at this moment. I dont want to make you feel bad or anything for wanting to ff, i have a period of time every few days when i want to give up and ff and i have been very close to buying a tin of formula on may occasions in the supermarket and have even walked down the baby section and looked longingly at the formula during my lowest moments.
Whatever you decide to do im sure you will get heaps of good advice on how to wean if you decide that is what you want to do for you and your family but if you do want to continue and want some support (coz it sounds like some people are being a bit rude to you about bf) im here if you want to pm me. xxoo
hugs beautiful lady - it does get easier, and TBH I find BF'ing easier than FF (DD1 was on formula from 4.5 months, my milk dried up) - washing all the bottles, sterilising, the waste, the wait for it to heat up - it's just so much harder (for me).
As mantaray said I would go along to your check up, sometimes some encouraging words from a professional can help you through xoxoxo
ok so i read everyone replies (thankyou heaps) and you know what your all prob right - i may be having some slight baby blues! i do have an appointment with me OB at 6wk check up but she was really doubtful in me breast feeding to start off with so im not sure if she will be much help! im determined tho to stick it out for a bit longer to prove her wrong and for myself and Em also!
But i think at the end of the day i am going to have to slowly start weening her on to formula as i go back to uni soon, so i don't think breastfeeding and expressing will work???
Deep down i don't want too but don't feel i have much of a choice?!
As for feeling unattractive and like a cow all the time, well i still get a bit sooky over that but its getting better! One day im sure my DH will want me again and vica versa!
Beutitude - yep your story is just like mine so that was very reassuring to read thankyou! and i do feel guilty for thinking about giving up and formula feeding because this time it is working! whereas last time with Miss B it just didn't work!
Your ob doesn't sound very supportive... you know, you'd be better off seeing a midwife
You can BF part time. I've watched my aunty and Mum both return to work with young babies (6 & 8 weeks), and both continue to BF beyond 2 years old! They both demand fed overnight and on weekends. Just so you know, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Hope you feel better soon. I think you're expecting a lot of yourself so soon after giving birth. Go slow and be gentle with yourself
hj. All the best figuring things out. It doesn't sound like you're too happy about stopping breastfeeding - I'm guessing maybe you're not feelign too well supported at the moment.
You OB is probably not the best person to be talking to about this.
Just by the by, it is possible to combine feeding and work/study, or even part-time bfing if that works better, as meow suggests. The ABA will have resources about returning to work/study with a breastfed baby that you may find useful. I know there are many on bb who have also done the same and will have lots of advice and support for you.
Hi' many mothers combine work/study and breastfeeding. And in a course like your they should be supportive- afterall breastfeeding is the norm for feeding babies. From personal experience I went back to full yime work when my baby was 6 weeks old
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As Barb has said, we do all tend to feel like this with a baby so young - everything is new, they need so much time and energy and with all the hormones and lack of sleep, sex is the last thing you want. Many mums feel that things would be ok if only they didn't need to breastfeed so often - but then they find that bottle feeding can be even more work by the time you make up the formula and wash the bottles, and without the feel good hormones that are released when you breastfeed things can seem even harder. 
I felt terrible about feeling this way and ended up talking up the issues we were having bf to make myself feel better about not really feeling like i wanted to bf. It also didnt help that ds2 was alot more unsettled tham ds1 and i put that down to him being bf.
They both demand fed overnight and on weekends. Just so you know, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
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