Gem, it sounds like you are having a difficult time. The first few weeks are really a steep learning curve and all at a time when you are so sleep deprived It might not help you now, but it does get easier

It is hard from your post to know exactly what is happening - if I were talking to you I could ask some more questions. But I can give you some ideas that might help and if they don't you could call the 24 hour ABA helpline on 1800 mum 2 mum to get some other suggestions. They are so supportive and helpful and the calls are toll-free.

One thing that can help fast flow is to express a bit before feeding. If your DD arches and pulls off soon into the feed then this might help. Some feeding positions also help like lying on your back or in a reclined position. Another thing that can help is to know that sucking doesn't necessarily mean hunger. Your DD might have an upset tummy from the abs or from being really full and want to suck because it helps the pain. Sucking helps babies to process wind and can help with tummy pain, as well as giving them comfort. Babies usually get the majority of the milk in the first 20 - 30 minutes on the breast, so it can help to pull them off after 20 or 30 minutes, change nappy and burp, then try the other side, only for 20 - 30 mins again. She might grizzle when you pull her off and try to get back on, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's hungry. Some mums find that keeping their baby upright for 15 minutes or so after a feed and then lying them down helps them to settle better. Or even wearing her in a sling and keeping her with you might help too. If she is still hungry she won't settle and you could then try offering the breast again. You can tell that she is getting enough milk if she is gaining weight and having at least 5 heavily wet disposable nappies or 6 - 8 very wet cloth nappies and 2 or more runny or soft dirty nappies in 24 hours.

Everything is new and different for a new baby so often just cuddling them lots helps. Over time you will both find things easier