Breastfeeding (or lack of) at hospital - debrief...

[AliBaby]

Hoping I am not going to be judged for what I am writing here as I feel like "I should have known".

I didn't realise how angry and upset I was about this until a friend was telling me about her experience with bf at hospital at hospital and how wonderful it was.

Long story short... (actually it didnt turn out to be short...sorry)

I had DD at 3:12am, first feed was at 5:30am.
Had no idea what I was doing and I didnt think it was working. I asked the midwife how do I know when to feed DD? I was told that "babies dont actually need milk in the first 24hours as they still have all the nourishment in their bodies from the placenta". I was also told "dont feed DD unless a midwife is there to make sure attachment is correct".
Left delivery and into maternity at 7:30am. Big changeover of staff because of time of day.
Visitors, doctors, midwives come and go through the day, I do a physio class, the day just flies by and it all seems to be a bit of a whirlwind.
Had another visitor at about 4:30 who asked me when I had to feed DD. I said I have no idea! No one has come and told me. I hadnt fed her since the morning. She was in shock and said I needed to feed her and went and got someone.
The midwife then came in and looked at my notes and seen I hadnt fed her. People had been checking my notes all day & not said anything.

I feel so stupid now as its common sense but it really wasnt explained to me and even when I asked this midwife how often to feed her she said every 5 hours, another said every 3 hours. I was just so confused!!!! It wasnt until I saw the LC at hospital that I got the right info and felt better about breastfeeding.

Oh dear, so embarrassing...I know this sounds really dumb but I had no idea how often a baby needs to be fed, I was sleep deprived after 63hours awake and not using my brain and DD was sleeping all the time so I just didnt think that I needed to wake her. After all I was waiting for them to come and tell me it was time.

I am just really angry that this happened. I was lucky that I really was determined to bf and gained alot of support and info from BB and we are still going well on our bf journey but it is devastating to think about that first day.

I didnt complain at the time because I felt embarrassed (still do a little bit but needed to get this out).

I dont know about midwifery courses, but it seems that there needs to be more consistency with the information that is given to new mums. Every time a midwife changed shift I was told something different..

Thanks for listening. Sorry its a bit rambled. No replies needed. Just needed to get that out as I have been holding it in for a while.

[Sterla]

Oh Ali, that's awful! Don't feel embarrassed - you were a new mum! I was completely clueless with DS too!

I wasn't overly impressed with the b/f 'advice' I was given in hospital. I was never told or shown how to get DS to properly attach. Because I'd had a c/s, I had to buzz the midwives whenever DS needed a feed anyway, as I couldn't get out of bed. Only problem was, the midwives way of getting DS to attach was simply to force his head and my boob together . Before I had DS, I was told in the antenatal classes, etc, about how breastfeeding friendly the hospital was - but I really don't feel like I was offered much support. There seemed to be a bit of a 'work it out yourself' attitude.
I've found midwives are generally not much help when it comes to b/f - but LC are absolutely wonderful!

Sorry you had such a bad start - but look at you now!!!

[*TripleJ*]

similar story here but there wasnt much forcing but not a lot of help i got a cracked nipple after the first feed i met an LC too little too late i was already discouraged and it was enough to make me wanna stop after 5 days coz of the pain

[AliBaby]

similar story here but there wasnt much forcing but not a lot of help i got a cracked nipple after the first feed i met an LC too little too late i was already discouraged and it was enough to make me wanna stop after 5 days coz of the pain

Thats terrible as well. I didnt get to see the LC until the end of my second day . I also got cracked nipples from hospital even though it was the midwives that were the ones attaching DD.

[ladybird11]

Very similar cicrumstance happened when I had DS too hun - it is dreadful isn't it?

I actually lodged a complaint due to the lack of support when it came to b/f. Post natal care is just as important and sometimes it doesn't seem like its a priority (well certainly at one hospital which shall remain nameless ).

Hugs hun.

[Visitor3]

Oh no hun that's terrible ! No one is born with that knowledge so don't even think for a minute you should have just known what to do, when and how. I was only a little opposite to you. I thought I was doing everything right in the hospital ! Not one midwife or LC came to see me or check if I actually was even holding DD correctly let alone if she was latching. I went to a 3 hr breast feeding class through the hospital before I had DD so I thought that's was everything I needed to know ? I also didn't know how often to feed? By the third day when my nipples became so sore and cracked I told a midwife that I didn't think DD was latching properly because now I was really sore and she grabbed DD and my boob and pushed us together like she was playing the cymbals !

It's hard when there is such little focus placed on guiding new mums on how to BF, milk supply, correct latching etc. You're not alone and you certainly can vent about it. On the upside look at you now...Good that you're one of the lucky one's to be able to BF successfully.

[AliBaby]

Thanks so much Sterla. You are so lovely.
I think that alot of hospitals want to say they are breastfeeding friendly and they might encourage women to breastfeed but dont help to educate them. Like you, having a midwife thrust DD's mouth onto my boob didnt teach me how to b/f, in fact I found it quite the opposite.
It would just be good if all midwives were trained to be lactation consultants as well just to get women off to the best start that they can.
Thanks again for your kind words

[Shanti]

Yeah Ikwym..... we had very helpful midwives in hospital HOWEVER got very conflicting BF advice from day 1..... DD had her first feed about an hour after birth and a MW was there watching and helping a little bit while DD got on.... (I wanted to do the breast crawl but i had to be stitched up and that took aaaages and it was distracting me so that didnt happen ) anyway, she then slept for about 3hrs from memory and then woke up hungry. I called a MW in for every feed but I had to because I had no idea what I was doing and also DD would not get on and attach (flat nipples), weak suck etc etc (long story).... we had so many problems from day 1. Which lasted for weeks..... I sometimes wonder if I'd had the help of an LC immediately from day 1, would our problems have been as bad as they were for weeks and weeks?? Not sure....
I asked to see the hospital LC but they said they didn't have one in the hospital at that time I needed one badly. I didn't see one until DD was 2wks old at our house which was too late in terms of needing the help sooner, i needed to see one sooner! But thankfully with persistence we kept going and help of the LC!!!!

I agree, hospitals are too busy to have the time to spend with each new mum (or any mum for that matter) to help support them with initiating BF'ing journey.
Hospitals need more LC's and more 'specialised' BF nurses.

My plan for baby #2..... I have a LC I am going to call when I have baby #2, she does home visits and I'm going to get her to come and see me in hospital on day one! Watch us feeding and then see her again 2 or 3 days later to check on us again..... I want more specialised care and I'm prepared to pay for it.

[fi1980]

Don't feel embarrassed hun, despite the theory that BF is natural and instinctive it really isn't! I too had no idea when to feed my baby and the first couple of days were very confusing. After an emergency c-section I didn't get that initial skin to skin contact, when I finally did get that my DD was so out of from being distressed in labour and drugs that I had been given that she had no interest in the boob. I didn't know what to do and felt silly for asking plus I was a wreck from the birth anyway. The MW kept asking me if she'd fed and I said no, I couldn't get her to feed so the MW helped me but had no luck either as DD was like a zombie, so the MW expressed my colostrum and gave it to DD. A couple of hours later the MW came back and we tried again, this time she did latch on but still I really had no idea when to feed and no one really told me plus seeing as it takes a few days for your milk to come in I didn't know if there were different rules for feeding the colostrum or what... see, I was totally clueless as well! Thankfully the MW BF support I got was really good (aside from noone telling me exactly how often to feed my baby) a MW came around every few hours and helped me with positioning to make sure DD was attached properly so in the end I guess I did feed her enough due to the MW showing me how BUT it certainly wasn't an instinctive thing for me.

Sounds like you've done an amazing job to continue b/feeding all this time after a rocky start, well done!

[Jas]

Oh you poor thing! That is terrible don't be embarrassed at all.

ds1 didn't feed that much after he was born either he was sleeping and I too didn't know any better. At about 15hrs old he went to scn and was tube fed formula as his bsl's were dangerously low due to me having gd during this time I was told to rest so I did, I didn't express or anything to help my milk come in. I think during this time everything si so new you are tired and there are visitors, bp checks, ppl bring meals in etc and ur just not thinking straight. I think it is also a fault in the system that pregnancy and birth is so managed etc and you get TOLD what to do while in hospital, feed this often, DON'T feed unless there is a mw etc etc

I think because you have had medical prfessionals there telling you what to do the whole way through you don't make that change over to doing what you think until you go home and there is no one there to tell you anymore at which point you feel very wierd and feel like you don't know what you are doing.

I think it would be great if you go sat down and breast feeding was explained more, how it works, how often you should feed in the early days, what to do if you have a very sleepy bub, that cluster feeding is normal and doesn't mean you don't have enough milk etc etc that way mums would feel more confident and there would be time to ask questions etc I think it would be so wonderful if this happened with an lc and each mum and then you were able to contact your designated lc if you need help.

Don't feel bad you were following advice given by a midwife! I think it would be great if you made a formal complaint with the hospital so that this kind of thing doesn't happen again. You are a wonderful mum and I am sorry you had such a bad experience with your first day of breastfeeding, congratulations on the wonderful bf relatonship you and Ashlyn now have xo

[Heaven]

Oh Ali, I'm so sorry that happened to you!!

[coffeegal]

I know this is an old thread but I can really relate to what is talked about here. The conflicting advice is annoying. When I had DD we had skin to skin for a few hours and she had her first feed during that time so off to a good start. They would always ask me on the ward the times we fed and made notes. I would comment about her extended sleeping, she certainly never woke hourly or two hourly for a feed. No one commented I wasn't feeding her enough and the push was 'feed on demand' so whenever she woke up I would feed her. I went home and had two midwifes come to the home for the post natal care. Worrying about how often to feed and the fact my DD was a good sleeper from the outset (4hr blocks not uncommon), I kept a diary of start and finish times. Both midwives said it was fine. MCHN came for the first visit a week later and she said same thing. I 'fed on demand' which was every time she woke up but because she slept a lot we were only feeding about 6 times a day but for long times (40-60min). With each midwife, I was asked about dirty nappies and I told them every second day which was aparently fine (she had lots of poos the first few days but once the moconium passed things slowed down). So I continued to do what I did because so many people told me no probs. I even had a pregnancy LC visit at the hospital but in that time no one talked about how often and how long to feed a baby and how many wet or dirty nappies. I had a LC visit a week after she was born and because the visit was about attachment, how often to feed was never discussed.

So imagine my horror when 2-3 weeks later I was on the ABA web site reading how babies should feed 8-12 times a day (with 10+ being average!!!) with 3-4 dirty nappies. I rang the hotline and they said I hadn't been feeding enough and she had to have that many dirty nappies. So in a panic I rang MCHN for an extra appointment and ended up there in tears, guilty and worrying I had been under feeding and lack of pooh and was told and reassured again everything was fine (small weight gains but no losses). She suggested I wake 3 hourly during the day and let her go at night so now at 6w I'm still doing this. I STILL DONT KNOW what the right answer is. I feel like a fool and embarrassed. I am still confused. Even with waking 3hourly during the day when I put her down after last feed say 8-10pm she will wake around 2-4am for a feed and then not again until anywhere between 7-9am so taking those large blocks into account in the 24hr period, with daytime wakes we are still only averaging about 6-8 feeds. The MCHN said it is normal for a BF baby to not pooh for days but I had read in their first month they should pooh 3-4times/day and it was then normal for them not to after the first month but she disagreed with that. I have since had another appointment (with a different nurse) and showed her my feeding diary and she again says it all looks 'great'.

I still doubt myself and what I'm doing and my DD is 6w !!! I still dont know what the right answer is but based on everything I've read I'm not feeding her enough but based on everything I'm TOLD I am !!!??? I'm going to the Doctor this week and I'm sure I'll have another opinion again. I still feel guilty and wish I could go back in time 6w and start all over again with having read about feeding 8-12 times 3/4 dirty nappies then I could of discussed this with the LC. I'm trying to get another LC appointment so will yet again discuss it with someone else for their 2c.

[Barb Glare]

Hi. The conflicting advice does make it difficult -what is a newmum to think? Te me, what has her growth rate been like? Usually babies don't thrive on just 6 feeds - some do but most need more feeds. And several poos a day is more common in a newborn.

[coffeegal]

She was born 3300 gms.
Lost 240gms day 3.
Day 5 hadn't lost, hadn't gained.
Day 12 gained 60gms (3120 total weight).
Day 20 gained another 195gms (3315 total).
Day 27 gained 75gms (total 3390 gms).
5 weeks gained 140gms (total 3530 gms)
Now 6 weeks .. not due for weigh for 3 more weeks. Going to see if I can find a local Chemist to weigh her inbetween or see if the Doctors have scales.