I am wondering how many mothers out there BF their babies to sleep? SOmetimes in my circles I feel like I am the only one and initially I was proud of the fact that this is what I did, now it feels like a burden and I will never do it again for another baby.
I want to be able to get DD to sleep with out it but she just won't and it becomes a battle.
SO
IOf you have done this or are doing this, what did you do when you stopped or how did you stop.
Did your little one just decide they wanted to stop BF to sleep or did you make that decision for them?
I BF DS to sleep until he grew out of it around 11 months and then we just cuddled to sleep and still do. Each to their own but I was happy with feeding him to sleep and will do it again if we have another bub.
When we finally let the cat out of the bag....when we finally let other women know how darn quick and easy it is to get a toddler to sleep (10 sucks and you're out) When we finally stop nodding sympathetically while women pat, rock, walk and make up bottle....then a galaxy of baby whisperers will be out of work!
Babies feed to sleep, and then mums either catch up on some much needed shuteye, or get up and get on with life. 4 chidren and 17 years has told me that life is too short for patting and ...whatever else you are supposed to do. I went to sleep school - but it was some time ago, and I have forgotten most of it - except for the lingering feeling that we *failed*. But in the long run - we didn't - a quick and easy way of getting babies to sleep was our prize - one we accepted it. They all grew up. They all slept alone, eventually.
BF my DD to sleep was a blessing for me, it was quick and easy and she went off to sleep peacefully, it never was a problem for me, people would make me feel bad for it, I think around 11-12 months it just stopped and I would pat her to sleep, I still lay down with her until she goes off to sleep and she is nearly 2 but I love that special time with her.
My DS would not BF to sleep he drank and got out of there, I either rock him to sleep or he takes himself off to sleep.
I BF to sleep and I love it, as Barb mentioned '10 sucks and you're out', Miss A is very much like this, when my parents visited last weekend A was ready for her sleep, I went to lay down with her and within a few minutes I joined them back in the lounge where my Dad asked 'Is she asleep already? That didn't take long'.
I do not feel it is a burden at all and I truly believe that when she is ready to self settle she will.
I am the only person in my family to breastfeed, my cousin recently gave up after 10 days saying she 'couldn't breastfeed' when I asked why she said because it is time consuming and inconveniant, I do not understand this.... it is such a blessing (not that you are saying this at all, I am just rambling now ) I love breastfeeding and I will be so sad when it is over.
I bf DS1 to sleep till he was nearly 2 1/2 & I'll do the same for DS2. Once I weaned DS1, I lay down with him till he fell asleep & it continued our nice quiet time together. From memory his only feeds were to go to sleep after about 14 mths, DS2 still has random extra feeds as well as feeding to sleep.
DS sort of grew out of it sometime around 12 months I think, but he would still do it sometimes after that, especially when very overtired.
When it works, feeding to sleep is the most brilliant thing ever. I'd rather breastfeed for an hour than try doing anything else with a kid that doesn't want to sleep.
Thanks everyone, I guess I feel its a burden because its not a 10 suck and she's out for the count, tonight she was down within 5 mins but some nights she can be on for an hour and cry if I take boob off her. Others make me feel bad I try not to discuss it and do the vague answer thing but when it comes to the grandies constantly asking WHY DD can't go to them for a whole day or over night (aside from the fact that I don't want her to at this stage) I "use breastfeeding as an excuse"
Do babies self wean off feeding to sleep? we do have the very very odd night where she will just be playing the "on, pull off" game and I pop her up on my shoulder and pat her to sleep.
I don't tell people how much I love it at 5am and she comes into bed and we snuggle and she feeds then when she falls asleep and I get to have my boob back, how beautiful she looks so at peace, so snuggley and warm and full of milk. I lay there and watch her until I feel sleepy again and roll over. I don't tell people how I love it when she tickles my neck to wake me up.
I think its because I let others opinions get to me, aside from the weaning to conceive issue, that I feel the way I do. I guess deep down I know it won't last forever but I often wonder if I am doing the wrong thing, she cannot self settle.
OK so I am waffling now,
Thanks everyone I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I am not the only one out there who does it and that some have done it with older toddlers
we have sleep issues of sorts but DD at 22 months still feeds to sleep for her day sleep, but not night.. she dropped taht a while back, mind you she only started feeding to sleep at 12 months
I B/F to sleep and don't plan on stopping any time soon - but I think that DD has other ideas. She often feeds, then rolls over, gets comfy and goes to sleep - I swear if she had balls she'd scratch them around about then. I feel used
DS fed to sleep until he was almost three, and like you, it was rarely ten sucks and out. Just over three hours was our record. DS has some serious sleep issues though (he is autistic) and I have since found research which found that oxytocin is beneficial in autism so instinctively I was doing the right thing for him.
There were times when I truly loved the unique bond we had and the utter loveliness of a sleepily feeding toddler, and others when I found myself resenting it. It was certainly taxing on the nights when he would take hours, and physically exhausting too. Because he has other sensitivities (auditory and visual) I could sit in a darkened room with a computer on, but the screen had to be dim, the sound of keystrokes was too distracting - I could only use a mouse, and I could look only at static pages with no rapid contrast changes or moving graphics. He would need to be put into bed still attached, otherwise he would stir and cry out for more. And he often woke several times a night and needed to be fed back to sleep. We weaned six weeks after DD was born, it was becoming untenable to care for a toddler with such demanding feeding/sleeping requirements and a newborn who had needs of her own, especially as DS was not able to understand why I would have to feed DD when it was sleep time for him and became super distressed (we tried literal tandem feeding but it was physically impossible for me to put a sleeping toddler into bed one handed with a newborn on the other breast. An extra arm and I may have managed it LOL).
And we pretty much went cold turkey one day, I decided that the benefit for him was being far outweighed by the distress it was causing him and we just stopped. Just like that. The first two days were pretty intense, but after that he accepted it surprisingly quickly and was not upset at all when he was denied a feed. It took nearly four weeks for him to stop asking completely though, and he still very occasionally asks if he is sick or really upset. When he had his tonsils out he was really distraught at one point and asked for a feed (which I did not deny), and just put his mouth over my breast without actually sucking. Like a literal comfort feed.
As wonderful as it can be, it can also be pretty full on sometimes though, can't it?
Still feeding to sleep my 21 month old. I personally love it, even though most nights it takes an hour - I just browse the net on my phone while she settles in to sleep. I'm planning to continue until DD weans, why not use breastfeeding if you are breastfeeding is what I think at least. What other options are there? Would they really be better? I'd rather lie down for an hour than walk/rock for an hour personally!
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
my dd turned four recently, i would say she bf to sleep until about 3.5yrs old. As she got older, the "to bed feeds" got shorter and shorter. I think it was also the comfort of being near my heartbeat, the body warmth, to go to sleep with.
i went thru periods of resenting it and wondering "when will this end"? Looking back, i often felt like that, when OTHER people were harassing me about "when are you going to hurry up and wean her?" - and in reality, me lying down and feeding her to sleep, was a wonderful chance for ME to wind down, relax, be close to my noncuddly child too - so it was my benefit as well as hers.
I also read stuff about state of mind. E>g if i went to feed her to sleep, thinking "OMG, this will take AGES" and feeling resentful, then the experience would take longer and feel much worse, than if i went into it thinking "this is fine, I'm giving her comfort, I'm getting a relax and she will drop off when she's ready for sleep." Sounds corny, but i adopted this, and the positive thinking DID make me feel better about the experience.
wording can be important to your state of mind.
well it was to me, in sleep deprived states of mind. e.g i didn't say "feeding on demand". i decided to rebadge that as us "feeding by request". It changed me from feeling resentful, to feeling important and needed by her.
i would add i didn't need to wean to be able to conceive another child, so my experience was different to yours.
I never thought i would bf as long as we have (and are still doing, well, just morning feeds once a day now). But i feel it's my gift to bilby. Something that no-one else can give her. I see it as me investing in her future health. (all personal thoughts on the matter, i think every bf-ing experience is very individual to the mother and that particular child, so wouldn't generalise my thoughts to every other bf-ing mum and child).
Nae, I know it seems really exhausting now. You go through phases where it seems too much, but they do seem to pass. Some days feeding to sleep will take a long time and you'll wonder if you've done the wrong thing. But at least you can feed to sleep - mums who don't feed to sleep still have days when they can't settle their little one - and no back up plan! That back up plan (feeding to sleep) can be a life saver. And I tell you what, it's not a bad way to settle a tantruming toddler either!! Hang in there hun, you're doing a great job
You need to do what makes you happy. Don't worry about outside opinions or remarks. If you want to keep doing it then do so, I don't know of any 5 year olds that still do it IFKWIM, but if you are not happy doing it (after taking away outside pressures), then there are some hard yards to do before it gets easier, its not really a bf issue its a sleep issue, and again it depends on what you are comfortable doing to sort it out. Its only a problem if you consider it one, not if society does.
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Breastfeeding to sleep?
) I love breastfeeding and I will be so sad when it is over.
What can you do - just whatever's easiest I think.
DS has some serious sleep issues though (he is autistic) and I have since found research which found that oxytocin is beneficial in autism so instinctively I was doing the right thing for him.
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