I agree with Trish. It's early days, and it's a big learning curve for both you and bub.

Definitely seek help from qualified people, such as a lactation consultant or the ABA (not just the community nurse or your GP) They can help you with the nipple shield, and possibly give you techniques of relaxing during a feed in order to help with letdown. Stress definitely affects letdown. Perhaps if you're less stressed the feeds mightn't go as long either. It's a vicious cycle tho I know, feeling stressed about feeds. I think the idea of getting people to call or text before they visit is a good one too if that would reduce the stress.

You need to feel comfortable with your final decision tho, and perhaps exhausting all sources of help with breastfeeding before switching to formula will help you feel confident in your decision, then you're not left with what-if's. IYKWIM.

You've done a great job so far though, persevering even though you're not enjoying it. You're not a bad mum. You're just trying to work out what is best for you both - that makes you a great mum

Do seek help tho, I think it's best to seek help even when switching to formula too, so that you know what you're doing.

All the best *hugs*