Don't worry about all the questions i'm more than happy to help.

Pretty much in the end i started to refuse if it had only been a couple of hours, i think in the beginning 4 hours might have been ok (it's better than 2-3 hours ) And got her used to doing that and then eventually started to try and spread it out even more.

In the beginning she would go to bed at 7pm and be waking again by 9pm and then again about midnight and then again about 3am and then again about 6am where she's up for the day. Once i started trying to change things i would try to not feed before 11pm, we would often only make it until 10pm though. Then if she had that 10 or 11pm feed i would try and resettle any wakes between 4am (at the earliest). So idealy i might only have to go and resettle once between the feeds i was willing to give her. And as i said earlier if she was just not giving in i wouldn't push it too hard (although i have stayed up for an hour here and there in the beginning), i would feed her, get her back to bed and try it again the next time.

If you can get that going for a little while (a couple of weeks maybe) then i'd try and cut out the 11pm feed. This is where we are now, DD still may wake up before the midnight mark but she is not expecting a feed, just a little hug and she quite happily goes back to sleep. We then may not hear from her until anywhere from 4am, the 4ish mark i will still try and resettle if i can but if she won't do it i just feed her. I think she knows that it's getting close to 'that time' and even though it's a little earlier that i'd like by my expectations she's pretty determind to say 'no mum i want it now'. I also don't like to battle with her too much in the early hours as i don't want to wake the boys too early. During the night it's not an issue they aren't distrubed by her at all but i'm not risking us all being up at 5am if i can help it

Does that make sense? Think about what you want to do, what works for you and your DD and start trying to make your way to that point being flexible along the way if you feel necessary.

I'm pretty much happy with where we are for the time being, i'm just going to go with this for a little while now. It's such a huge improvement to where we were only a couple of months ago.

Give it a go if you feel your ready and hopefully in another month or so you can come and tell me that things are starting to change for you guys. Good luck xo

ETA i just re-read your post and the methods we used instead of a feed were a mixture of hugs and putting her in the cot and patting her butt and all along telling her softly that it's time to go to sleep. I also sing to her sometimes. I didn't ever leave her to just CIO This would go backwards and forwards depending on how stubborn she was feeling, if she was being particularly stubborn i would get DH to have a try. You could also have some water ready to offer bub if need be.