When I was pregnant with Brendan I wanted to breastfeed, I never questioned as to why I wouldn't be able to. When he arrived early, that was our first struggle. Then there was the reflux and the weak suck and later on his severe tongue-tie was picked up. Brendan was never able to attach without a nipple shield and I hated it. Anyway I expressed for him, which for me just isn't the same, just as good for him, but not the same.

Before getting pregnant again I gathered bits of information, so that when the time came again I knew better. All I wanted was to give it a better shot, to get bub attached and feed from me. My aim was to feed longer than Brendan, so 6 months. When Tristan was born early I was determined to feed him, the nurses and Dr's shot me down saying it wasn't worth even trying until he was a week old. We did try on day 2 and he took to it like a champ that by beginning of day 4 he was on all suck feeds, albeit by nipple shield, he was still breastfeeding. He was on all breastfeeds by day 6 when they transferred us for rooming in at me local hospital. He is now 10 (and a bit) months and I don't plan on giving up yet. I don't think he does either

I know that one day it will end, but not until we are both ready for it.