Never realised how little support Id get for bfing

[nattyfred]

As the title suggests I am so over my supposed support network not supporting me on my bfing journey ...With the exception of dh, almost every time I say V has been unsettled, not sleeping, crying...normal baby stuff that any normal parent would fret over...."Maybe theres something wrong with your milk supply" or "You just dont know how much shes getting" UUUMMM Yes I do because I weigh her pretty much every week and am only swapping to fortnightly because Im confident in my supply having bf for 4 months already.....that pretty much makes me an expert over someone who has not bf their child.

Now this is certainly not a pro bf, anti ff as if V needed formula she would get it without hesitation but for my sanity I wish those around me who tried to bf and couldnt or chose not to please do not transfer their fear, disapointment, whatever about their own journey onto me... Sometimes I think they would all click their toungues and tell me they are so sorry if my supply did drop, and then they would finally feel satisfied in themselves....My baby is just fine and so is my milk.

Is anyone out there amazed at the lack of family and friends support over this? I am honestly dumbfounded...

[Cocolove]

That is a huge part of alot of mothers giving up and just going with the advice and stopping breastfeeding including myself boy oh boy do I wish I had of ignored it, i could still be feeding my 1 year old.

So I have no advice just a thousand HUGS

[boomba]

I am so sorry your not being supported. At least you know you will be supported here

Maybe just nod and smile and let them know that you trust your body and are happy

your doing a fantastic job and shold be so proud!
x

[Inanna]

I experienced it also with my first. Even from midwives...

It is so hard to deal with this negativity & I do agree it's largely transference.

Come in here and know you will be supported. Babies don't magically sleep because of formula. Babies are little people with different needs at different times. Adjusting to this big wide world. Some do it easily & with little "to do". Others need more time, comfort and attention.

What you are struggling with is what most Mamas have to struggle with - so good on you for flying in the face of those who encourage you not to listen to your inner voice.

I would just be strong (I was) & smile & say you are "doing what you believe is right for you, your baby and your family. Thankyou though for your input"...

Big understanding cuddles my love...

[Barb Glare]

Surprised? No
Disappointed? Yes.
The sum total of support mothers around my part of the world seem to get is "put him on the bottle" "Don't put yourself through it" Breastfeeding is important!

But support is really available. Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association. If you are werious about breastfeeding you need to hang out there. Did you know, in a recent ABA survey 70% of ABA members breastfed for 12mnths or more? In the general population less than 20% make that goal.
You know how you feel when you have worked hard all day and you slip into a hot bath at the end of a long day? That's how it feels to be in ABA? You know when you talk to a friend and you feel genuinely heard and understood? That's what it's like. Breastfeeding is normal - and the support of likeminded people gives you the strength to go on

[~Raven~]

I know EXACTLY how you feel because I copped it from all angles and family was the worst. The only support I had was from 2 friends who had BF and because I'd seen them do it I was sure I could too.

Thankfully DS1's weight gain was so good that I just had to keep MIL updated after every visit and it was enough to get her to knock it off. That and expressing out a large 200+mls in front of her when she was babysitting for me when he was 6 weeks old I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head!

[mbear]

Its about being mis-informed and having to blame something....that in this case being breastfeeding. People feel they need to give you a reason, a soltuion for baby waking/crying/farting/burping....when really, they're just being a baby !!!!
At nearly 10 months of age, and being my 4th child...i still get comments about DS waking thru the night 'maybe you should try formula'.....i now look at them in pity, because they really dont even know what they;'re talking about...how could they ??
You sound positive anyway...and good on you for reaching 4 months....

[beckoes]

Good for you! atleast you can see that its just thier own issues! others may belive that and give up!! Ive heard of many a woman stopping Bfding due to an unsettled baby, going on to formular and it having no positive impact atall....then thier milk has gone!
Babies are unsettled, is has nothing to do with your milk! As long as she is gaining weight and your happy i say stuff 'em.....politely obviously
I hate when people say 'you dont know how much thier getting'....you dont need to know, your body knows! Without sounding wierd or anything, thats what a womans body was designed for....growing and feeding and raising a healthy child, they way the world intended! Most of the time thats the way it happens, sometimes it doesnt, and that is very hard for those people, but like you said....they shouldnt push that on to you!! Breastfeeding is a gift, if you are so lucky to be able to give that gift to your child you shouldnt hesitate and you certainly shouldnt be told not to!
Your doing a great job!! HUgs to you!

[Lolli]

I totally hear you. Big . Very frustrating. Forumla is not a magical solution to all baby problems. Wake up, people.

[nattyfred]

Thanks ladies its good to know Im supported here. Isnt it funny I always thought when I am a mummy Ill be the one in the drivers seat (with dh of course) but everyone is trying to carjack me lol.

Your support means so much to me...Its hard to tell friends and family to keep out of it.

[~Raven~]

I think this is why so many of us are so passionate on BB. It's because we have no or very little IRL support from the ones that are supposed to give it

[DaintreeDream]

Is anyone out there amazed at the lack of family and friends support over this? I am honestly dumbfounded...

I too was amazed at the lack of support I got, not only in breastfeeding though unfortunately.

When I stopped expressing for DD1 (when she was 11 months) she seemed to catch every cold/flu/infection and it took so long to clear up. When DD2 was born and I started expressing for her again, she vomited one day, just once, and I was asked what she had had to eat, I said only EBM, I was told that she was proberly vomiting as my BM was to rich for her! She had been back on it for 2 weeks already with no problems.For what it worth she has only had one cold since being back on and it cleared up in 1 week, compared to 2 months last year .

I don't know why people insist on saying stupid things like this, I am glad that you know that breast is best and that their negativity is not rubbing off onto you, I have heard of way to many people turning to formula due to unsupportive people in their lives.

I now have the same view as Barb

Surprised? No
Disappointed? Yes.

You are doing a wonderful thing for your baby, know that we are proud of you.

[Snacks]

Oh Natty, I'm sorry
I am thrilled that you are confident in your body and your and V's breastfeeding relationship. That's wonderful. But boy oh boy it sucks that you are getting hassled out by the people who should be encouraging you and giving you confidence. What a total drag.
I was very fortunate to have a very supportive family while bf, but I was a very anxious parent the first time round and I know if someone had've suggested the bottle to me I probably would've tried it. You are very strong. Good on you, mate.

[Arimeh]

Babies don't magically sleep because of formula.

Yah ain't that the truth. I wish people would stop saying it cos as a FFing mummy it makes me feel like there's something wrong with my children...

I support BFing mothers cos I wish I could have done it!! So tell em to jam their opinions where the sun don't shine cos its not important anyway

[~Kim~]

Sadly I think many of us find that in real life Nat, and you are so right about the transference thing.
I wasn't really surprised with DD, but what has got me dumbfounded is that they still try it on with DS! You think they would have figured I was good with it all by now....