It's very hard for you at the moment. I wonder if you could see it another way. I had a mum I worked with a little while ago who had a baby with a high arched palate, and a short tongue. It was really hard for her. This baby also had problems feeding with a bottle, found it hard to maintain suction and milk slopped everywhere. I explained to her that he had a feeding disability. Some people have asthma, for some it might be a club foot. Others might have a baby with hip displaysia. It all is a little out of the ordinary, and makes mothering difficult and more time-consuming. Mothers of babies with a disability have to work harder than other mums - but often it is not recognised, so they can often be left feeling "It's them" (the mother) Or that the baby is making life hard for them. But it's a situation not of their own making that unfortunately they have to deal with. I don't know if this way of thinking would help you?
You can always safely vent here or at your ABA group - nothing says we have to suffer in silence, and as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.