Sorry son...

[entreat]

Dear Jack,
I'm sorry buddy. But I think the time has come for you to not need feeding every 2 hours at night when you can go for much longer without during the day. I know it sucks arse, mate, but together, we will get through this rough time of change. Hopefully without any lasting mental damage to either of us.

I know you can do this because you're a very clever little boy & you have managed this before, lots of times. But this time, mummy needs you to do it again, or she might just lose her mind. We'll start slow & steady, and I'll give you all the hugs in the world to help us through.

Thanking you in advance,
your shadow-of-her-former-self mum.

[Danielle_NZ]

I can't offer any advice as I'm new on this BF journey but wanted to reach out to give you a huge :huh:

[YoYo]

I remember doing this with my DS. Good luck x

[Artechim]

You will get there. I have had to do it with both of mine. Not my ideal choice but there has to be a balance between baby and the well being of the mum. I never left mine alone and we got through it with several nights of singing/pacing/cuddles.

Good luck and I hope you get some decent sleep soon xx

[loulabelle]

Hugs Hun, he'll be ok, you need your sleep because without it you'll turn into grumpy mum. He is old enough to get through the night without feed after feed after feed.
Good luck, you might have a few rough nights but after that... Sleep, blissful sleep!

Xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so forgive spelling mistakes

[MantaRay]

hun. It is tough isn't it. It is a really common age for separation anxiety which is quite bad timing for us mums as we are usually just starting to get busy lives again.

If it is separation anxiety, co-sleeping is an option that works for some mums - when they know that you are there, there is less need to wake. Otherwise if it is about the milk, sometimes trying to squeeze some extra feeds in during the day can help (oh yes, I know, he has too many other things to do to be interested during the day ). Even a dream feed during a day sleep, or bath time with mum can help.

At Jack's age hun, he can understand quite a lot. Many mums find that talking to their baby about it can really help - things like "mummy's milk is for when the sun is up" etc. You might be surprised at how much he understands (although that's still not to say that he'll like it!!).

GL hun - I hope he gets the hint for you

[MummaSue]

You can do this and we're all here holding your hand

[LizLemon]

Wow you are a complete trooper to be doing it at this age. As others have said he is old enough to understand and also to go without the food so you will be fine. And he will probably benefit from a less tired/stressed mum.

[onthefly]

Is he teething?
Sucks doesn't it? (did you get my joke?)

[sloane]

it is tough & very tiring. good luck & we're all hear to listen/help in any way! hope you start getting more sleep soon.

[entreat]

Cheers guys. He is teething (good pun, MadB), but that hasn't made his night waking any worse. He was a great sleeper until 5mths, then he's gone steadily down hill with all his developments/illnesses/teeth/holidays/guests. *sigh* Someone once said to me that he would sleep better as he got more active. If I could remember who that person was, I'd kick 'em in the crotch right now.

So my plan, and tell me if you think I'm being horrible (honestly!!), is to try to space his first night feed by having the dummy arguement. If I can push that feed out to 4 (or 5, even better - but baby steps..) hours, I'd like to count that as a win. The rest... I dunno at this stage. I'd like it if DH could take one of the settling tasks, but Jack gets even more mad if it's not me.

Ok.. rambling over. I'm going to bed. For 2 hours or more, hopefully.

Thanks for the hugs & support guys.

[MummaSue]

Sounds good lovely lady - keep us posted.

How did the wee monkey sleep last night? He probably gave you a good 4 hour stretch without any intervention - just to throw you a curved ball? Or am I being my usual optimistic self?

[Artechim]

Sounds like a good plan. I spaced out DD by hugging/rocking/pacing/cuddling/singing every time she woke until around 4am when nothing would settle her and I thought she was genuinely hungry. I thought it was quite reasonable since she was used to having a feed every two hours.

Will he take milk from a bottle or cup? I always offered DD a drink from a straw cup when she woke just in case she was thirsty. When she had a drink it was usually enough to settle her down and she would cuddle back to sleep. Eventually she forgot about BF and was happy to be presented with the cup. After a couple of months she didn't even want that.

Good luck and stay strong. It is not very nice when they won't settle and you know they just want a BF but if you stick with it then it really is only the first few nights that are the worst. DD took probably a month to fully give up on the idea of getting a feed but after the first 3-4 nights it was more of a token gesture on the off chance that I would give in iykwim.

[berrme]

He was a great sleeper until 5mths, then he's gone steadily down hill with all his developments/illnesses/teeth/holidays/guests. *sigh* Someone once said to me that he would sleep better as he got more active. If I could remember who that person was, I'd kick 'em in the crotch right now.

Sounds like my DS2, except he stopped sleeping through at about 4 months when the teeth started. It was just after his 1st birthday that I put my foot down. He wasn't feeding every time he woke up but just having to get up 4 times a night when I knew he didn't need to feed during the night at all was sending me bonkers. There were tears (from mum and bub) but it actually only took a few nights of being really tough with my no boob policy and we were all much happier for it. Good luck, hope he makes it easy on you.

[beckoes]

i found nights hard with DD, she fed more at night than in the day. but i also found that she weaned relitivly easily. but i think she was a few months older than your ds. id give her a cup of milk and sit with her/rock/pat etc till she was asleep. then after a while milk became water...not worth waking up for apparently so she stopped waking so much. i explained ''boobies are for the day time'' and told her she was a big girl. and then eventually she stopped waking altogether, although that didnt come till she was about 2 yrs old. but ithink she was ready. good luck. and wear a tight, boob covering top, dd was pretty sneaky and would be cuddling and then suddenly find a nipple and it was all over

[onthefly]

How'd you go? It could take a good week to see any improvement.
just btw, I found with DS that if anything was going on for him (as it almost always was for the first 2 years or so) he just couldn't sleep. I mean, the stars all had to be alinged with jupiter for him to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time, you know? Nothing actually helped that unfortunately.
Good lukc!

[deletedit]

Sleep better when they are active? Hahahahhahaha *cough* right, sure.

I really need to work on this night time thing too. He really really really likes to sleep with me, boobies or not. Problem is, as soon as he's in bed with me we BOTH fall asleep, so I'm not sleep deprived at all but there's this baby taking over the bed and that doesn't leave much room for two adults.

To make it worse though, he also insists on falling asleep on me during the day, too. He'll sleep in the car, and sometimes when the other half is holding him, but he's only fallen asleep on his own maybe 3 times in his life, and two of those was just me shoving him in his cot for a moment because we have a delivery or a client at the door right when I'm holding a horribly grouchy tired baby and I go to pick him back up afterwards and he's asleep, so I KNOW he can do it ...

[entreat]

We're... winning, sort of. Last night, DH actually put him to sleep last night, in what must be the first time in 6, or more, months. he gave him a bottle of ebm, and then jack rolled over in his arms, and went to sleep. win!

I was also able to settle him at midnight without much crying. Although i did have to hold him for a while as he objected to the cot. he then woke at 3am (i think...) where i fed him & brought him back to bed.

And a couple nights ago, he was fussing so much in my arms, i put him in his cot, drowsy & awake (he usually bypasses this stage & goes straight into over stimulated) - and he went to sleep. it was beautiful. Like a baby out of the book! So there's hope for us yet.