starting solids / my parents driving me nuts!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

So as many of you probably know, we've been having feeding problems lately. Luckily I have more milk now, expressing still isn't going to well but.

Anyway, my parents took Aurelia today for a few hours (they took her to church then to my stepdads parents house) and took with them the milk I was able to express over the week, about 3 o.z. maybe. She's 5 1/2 months and I've just started her on rice cereal, which she seemed to be enjoying, but now my parents have gone totally overboard with the solids and have been telling me I need to give her more! I've explained to them that really, she doesn't need anything but BM for the first six months but they don't agree. They started giving her watered-down juice a few weeks ago and even though I didn't agree, I figured it wouldn't do any harm (since they only use a splash of juice and its mostly water), and she seemed happier anyway to have the extra hydration.

Today when they took her out, they feed her the following things (much to my dismay)

1/2 a banana
a bit of PIKELET (which is like a pancake) with a smidgen of Jam!!
CAKE (its a healthy cake my stepdad makes but it has egg of course, and NUTS ffs)
MARZIPAN CAKE FILLING!! MARZIPAN OF ALL THINGS! sugar and NUTS anyone?

So I was completely flawed at this, obviously they didn't realize they weren't meant to give her these things, but then my mum was saying "She was so hungry! She was grabbing my hand when I was feeding her and shoving the spoon into her mouth! You really need to give her more solids, I think this is why she hasn't been sleeping at night."

Whatsit?
I mean, I thought at this age food was just to taste, not for nourishment? It also seems a bit hardkore for a new lil baby to have to digest all this food! If she was really hungry it was probably because she needed MILK, right?

I'm really puzzled here and don't know what to do.

Help?

[LimeSlice]

Im certainly no expert here, but I would be more than p!ssed if my parents gave DD all that rubbish - in ONE DAY!!! OMG! I think maybe you need to have a serious chat with your parents about their boundaries - nobody should be feeding your daughter anything you havent said is ok...jmo though!

And what iI do know is nuts arent good...certainly not this young.

Oooh - im angry just reading it! lol

Good luck!

[LimeSlice]

Oh and just a side note...did you express the feeds she would have had if she were with you?
If i cant get enough milk before she goes out without me i have emergency formula here but still make sure you express the feeds she wasnt there for...it might help maintain your supply!
Glad to hear that issue is getting better too!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

Thanks <3 Yeah they took the lil bit of milk I was able to express with them, I actually do have formula but i've never used it, every time I mixed a bottle I had one last try and breastfeeding and always managed. Next time, if I don't have much expressed milk, I'll get them to take some formula as well. Formula is a much better alternative to marzipan.
Christ, MARZIPAN. Ugh.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

This is why my mother is not allowed unsupervised access to my DS, btw. She has the same line.

DS "should have" been on solids from six weeks - baby rice and water! Chocolate from three months.

He "should have" stopped breastfeeding ages ago.

I don't feed him well at all: I let him feed himself, I don't let him drink anything but water, although when DH gives him juice and MiL tried cow milk he refuses it.

I just can't justify giving a baby cake all the time! He loves his fruit so he can have that. No problem! I think DS was having banana and apricot at five and a half months, but I was giving that to him. I would have been furious with anyone else doing it.

I'm sure the WHO has a printable sheet about not feeding babies various things. I rely on that more than anyone else, aside from myself - I know my son best and if I feel he's not ready for something then he doesn't have it.

Best of luck!

[chrysalis]

Hi there
It's difficult isn't it? It's the time in your life where you last feel like a confrontation and additional stress!
You are doing a great job in looking out for your little one's interests.
The question is how to handle this touchy situation.
My story is that my parents were a little the same. They were not malicious but simply had been taught, when we were little that we should start solids at 3 months! They still have a hard time believing that Zac and I are still continuing our BF relationship at a bit over 6 months.
On my part it took a little "reeducation". I dreaded it. But I spoke to My health nurse who gave me some hand outs about the whole solids thing which included a blurb about the babes not needing any additional nutrition until 6 months and solids initially it being about discovery rather than nutrition and to keep sugar and salt and the extras out of their diets for as long as possible etc etc.
I ended up sitting down with my mum and dad (and nanna as she kept saying "you are not putting that boy on the TIT again" (which I now LAUGH about but at the time was not too funny)and chatting through the brochure.
They now understand that I would like to try and BF to 12 months at least and that solids are at this early stage a bit of a side issue. It was probably one of the first adult conversations I have had with them (previously when in dispute everyone was inclined to get a bit defensive and yell/storm out etc...) I think having a document with some facts and figures from a reputable source helped enormously. My husband was present when we had the chat and was very supportive too.
Now that Z has started solids I do prepare/provide the food I would like him to eat whilst in their care and encourage them to care for him at my home so that they can avoid the temptation to stray from my desire to keep to the basics at this early stage.
Whilst my little cherub seldom likes to drink from the bottle I also try and keep a little EBM in the freezer just in case something happens and I need to have him looked after at short notice. Sometimes it takes me a number of feeds to build up that little bit extra. If it is any help I have found it easier to EBM in the morn when Z is playing in front of me watching him helps the let down!
If a more gentle approach to this problem does not work the only option in the short term may be to find alternate baby sitters and work at your parents caring for your little one in your care so you can as Ryn suggests, supervise their feeding relationship with your little one.
Good luck
Belinda
PS if you need I could probably dig out the brochures I used and send them through to you by post.