What would you give up in order to BF your bub?

[Traveller]

health? No, my health and the health of my dh is just as important as the health of our children. How can we look after them if our bodies are not functioning as well as they can be?
career? Yes
sport? Yes but there are plenty of other physical activities that a mum could do instead of a sport which was interfering with breast feeding
habit? Yes

There is a little debating going on about a comment along the lines of breast is best. I know that research can slant their findings to support any view, full stop. There is no debating that fact. I agree with mad scientist and I would question what cross section of the population was actually involved in the research? I think breast is probably best for your average healthy woman as far as nutrition goes for their babies. Having said that I'd go as far as to say that the majority of woman in the world (yes when you look at the global population I'd say the majority) do not have access to great food and or lifestyle options or choose a less than optimal lifestyle to be producing milk which is nourishing to their babies. In these cases maybe formula is a better choice for them.

I see your point, however science has determined that even when a mother is malnourished she can still produce good quality milk for her baby. In addition when a baby is raised in a household with poor nutrition he/she is more likely to be exposed to disease or poor health so the immune benefits of breastmilk are even more important. Also if a mother is desperately poor and unable to feed herself properly then the introduction of formula is an expense which is likely to tip the family over the edge. 1.5 million children (data from baby milk action) die worldwide due to not being breastfed, and the majority of these children are in poor families where the mother has been convinced her milk is not good enough due to her diet. Sadly the parents cannot afford formula in correct proportions so water it down or mix it with dirty water (as that is all they have access to) and this is where babies die. In poor families with little or no access to health care I would argue that breastfeeding is far more important an issue than it is in our wealthy western society.

Of course mental health is an important issue when determining to continue BFing or not, and issues such as medication and illicit drug use must also be taken into account. So must personal choice, regardless of the reason why. However the research as it stands is IMHO indisputable. Breast is natural, normal, and formula is an inferior product which is a perfectly valid choice but the fact that it comes with an added risk to babies and mothers must be considered in the interests of informed choice.

[didispunk]

Yup anything but my heath!

[~clover~]

The only thing I felt like I gave up some times was my social life...but in reality I didn't.
Because I breast fed DS til he was almost 2, I couldn't leave him with my mum over night til he was well over 1, as he couldn't settle if he woke without the boob. So I couldn't go have a big night out, then come home & sleep it off like everyone else my age was doing. But I survived. I still had drinks when friends came here.
I never had a career, & my mental state would've been alot worse had I not been able to breast feed this time around, so I don't think I can really comment there...

[butterfly_warrior]

As a follow up to the statement made my Mad Scientist...

If I were to have persisted in trying to breastfeed my son, there is no doubt that the health outcome would have been entirely worse. No arguments.

If you have a severe, chronic health condition that is virtually disabling even with medications, then ceasing those medications will quite likely result in a mother who can do nothing more than breastfeed her child.

It's all well and good to say that there are medication options that are safe - but what if those medications aren't good enough?

Without experiencing that sort of chronic, disabling medical condition, you simply can not state that breast is best in that case. I know it's only a small minority of women that are effected like me.

BW

[sushee]

I think in some individual cases, there sometimes is an indisputable need for furmla. I don't think anyone argues that point.

But we are all in agreement that breast is best, and that is because there are in fact (generally) poorer outcomes for mothers and babies who do not BFed. This is not as much a 'blanket statement', as something apparently, from everyone's statements, we all seem to agree on. Let's not take something generalised ('breast is best') and apply it to individual cases where a mother has made the choice to FFed for reasons that no one else is (or should be) privy to.

This argument always goes down the same route everytime anyone talks about BFing/FFing - everyone agrees that BFing has better outcomes for mother and baby (which is why breast is best) but then take offence to those same outcomes when they apply it to their individual cirumstances. There is no need for that. Make the best decision for your child (I chose to vaccinate, I used sposies, I did not co-sleep) but don't knock the clear and articulated benefits of those who chose to make an alternative decision if the proof is in the pudding that the benefits of their decision outweigh yours. Stand by YOUR decisions knowing you did what was best for your family at the time.

BFing advocacy is about providing MORE support for women who wish to BFed, not about making FFing mum feel guilty about their choices.

[Jennifer13]

Well said Sushee. But unfortunately, sometimes, well meaning individuals do make statements that are obviously creating an "us and them" mentality, whether it is intentional or not. That is all I am saying. I am not offended by the fact that breast is best even though I formula fed my babies. I'm offended that someone is saying that my health and my babies' health have been impacted by this fact. It was a careless statement that has no place in these supportive forums.

Hun, it wasn't a careless statement, it's a generic truth. No one is applying it to an individual situation, but to the community as a whole. If it were in ffing support, it would be out of place. It's in the general feeding section, bfing included. Bfing has better health outcomes on the whole for mothers and babies. I can't comment on your situation, or any other individual's, only on what is true in a factual/statistical sense. That is all that is being done. You can't change the facts. Bfing does have many positive benefits to the health of mothers and babies. No one is singling out you or any other ffing mother. Just highlighting the benefits of bfing, which hopefully has the effect of increasing the support offered to help mothers bf.

Hun, Barb/WHO/bfing advocates are not trying to make you feel bad. I know you are making the best decisions for your family and your children and they could have no better mother.

[Diamond Girl]

To me, Bf my children in the early months was one of the most important gifts I could give my children. I made it one of my top priorities, and at one point my health was compromised because I refused to take medication due to b/f. If it had been a life threatening or very debilitating condition, or if my child was older then I would have stopped b/f, but its symptoms were only quite uncomfortable, not unbearable so I could cope with it. In my mind, I personally couldnt put my own comfort ahead of my children. I decided that I would exclusively b/f for 6 months, no exceptions, and I was lucky enough to be able to achieve this for both children even though it was very tough at times.

The decisions I made were mine to make, and I dont think its fair to compare them what everyone else does. Although I would have given up pretty much everything to b/f exclusively for 6 months (and then supplemented by food beyond) it isnt for everyone. All mothers have priorities, different experiences and for many women, formula feeding is a perfect alternative to b/f, and I honestly believe for many it is worse for the child to b/f than FF. Im only saying this because I have many friends who are deeply saddend by the fact they couldnt bf as I did, because bf just didnt work out for them. I have been very, very lucky it did for me.

[LisaFire]

I wouldnt give up anything to breast feed my DD, however I may postpone things like returning to work or sport.

I am however having to give up watching my DSD train at karate because I have been told by the coach of the state team I am not welcome there if I am going to breastfeed K. I refuse to allow my baby to scream for 2hours for a feed, I refuse to feed her in a cold car and she wont accept a bottle. So I have no choice but to stay home. I dont even know if I am allowed to go to tournaments now. My DSD hates the way I have been treated by the club and so does everyone else I know.

[kelebek]

Slightly OT but

I am however having to give up watching my DSD train at karate because I have been told by the coach of the state team I am not welcome there if I am going to breastfeed K.

I know in NSW this is considered discrimination and they can be persecuted, I would contact your anti-discrimination body in your state and get advice on this.

[Janie]

Lisa, I'm really sorry they have tried to put you in that position. It is law everywhere in Australia that breastfed babies have the right to feed whenever, and wherever they want. So please feel free to simply just feed your baby there. If that makes you uncomfortable, you could try letting the coach know about the law to see if that will change their stance. If not, you can certainly take it further, and if you wish to do so the Australian Breastfeeding Association would be able to point you in the right direction.

I hope you feel able to take this further, as it is appalling that a breastfeeding mum and babe should be treated this way............it would be great to nip it in the bud so that no one else is made to feel as you have been. Good luck hun.

[skeetaboat]

I have given up my ability to leave the house for more than a few hours, so essentially independence, social relationships and "me" time, and as a side effect a little bit of sanity. I'd like to think I'd do it all over again (I could have chosen not to BF my second but it was too important to me) but after 3 years of being tethered, I think I would consider FFing if we were to go on to have a third.. I don't know if I could manage to continue for another year or two, unless I had a break in between. In which case you could say that I'd be "giving up" our ideal spacing of children (not that we can assume this is within our control to start with), in order to BF. I wouldn't give up physical health, though, that's too vital for everyone's overall well-being.

[MantaRay]

Great point Traveller. I think it is such an important point that breastfeeding really is a life or death matter for many people in this world - mums and bubs alike - and that it is the poorest people who are at most risk. A good diet is not necessary to breastfeed.

Lisa - the others are correct when they point out at you have the legal right to breastfeed anywhere you and the baby are allowed to be. I can imagine it must feel be very upsetting to you to have been asked to stop, and that you might find it confronting to pursue it. If you can find the courage to do so though, you will not only be able to watch your DSD train, but you will be helping countless other mums also. It is completely illegal for the coach to say that .

I have to say that I can't think of anything that I had to give up in order to breastfeed. I sure gained a lot too! There are always individual circumstances but it really seems to me that society often has an unrealistic view of breastfeeding as something that "takes it out of you" and requires a special diet. I even had someone say to me at work that he and his wife chose to use formula because it was no more expensive than all the extra food she would have had to have eaten I was almost too shocked to respond LOL! I really believe that this is exactly the image that formula companies have been trying to portray and it is really quite sad that it is so successful.

[Barb Glare]

Hi, there,
Mad Scientist, it wasn't a careless comment that I made. I could have said "the benefits of breastfeeding....." and maybe people would feel better about that. But the fact is that breastfeeding is the normal way of feeding a baby. Research (and a simple google search will demonstrate) mothers and babies who do not breastfeed have poorer health outcomes. I feel that on these forums we have to speak the truth - but still be gentle with each other. If no-one tells women, how do they make a fully informed choice? As a parent, I want information. I don't want to be patronised by people who don't believe I can handle the truth. I have made some very serious parenting mistakes over my time. It's really painful to look back and know I could have made a better choice - but they are part of our life and our family. The great part is that you always get another chance with your children (though sometimes not with breastfeeding) On just about a daily basis I speak to women who wished they had been given better information about breastfeeding. Wished they'd been supported to continue - even decades later. If you are at peace with your choices you have no issue.
Skeetaboat, you have done a great job with breastfeeding. Don't you think that you could get out and about *and* breastfeed? What would you need to be able to do that? Would your babies need you less if they were formula fed?

[Mad Scientist]

I don't feel the need to justify myself as I believe I already have. Thanks for replying Barb. I do find that many comments do focus on the negatives of ff rather than the positives of bf. I believe that the latter would be more beneficial and would give greater results, rather than using 'scare' tactics. I'm not saying that you do this, but many people do. Thanks again Barb.

[Traveller]

With respect, Mad Scientist, everyone realises Breast is Best. What many people do not realise is that formula feeding comes with health risks for both mother and baby, and these risks must be weighed against the benefits of formula feeding (such as medication which could not be taken otherwise) in order for an informed decision to be made. I believe focussing on the negatives of FF is exactly what we need to do as the Breast us Best message has not worked to encourage more women to breastfeed.

[MantaRay]

In fact, Breast is best is no longer used as a slogan by breastfeeding organisations for that very reason. To say it is best implies that there are options that are equal, or nearly equal, or that something else is a normal way to feed but breastfeeding is better. These things just aren't true. Breastfeeding is quite simply the way babies are designed to be fed. To do anything else has risks. The same with talking about benefits of breastfeeding - this implies there are advantages to doing something differently to the norm which is not true. Instead there are risks in not following the norm. This is no different to any other situation where there is an alternative to the natural way - caesarians, epidurals etc have risks over a natural, vaginal birth but no-one seems to think discussing those risks is a problem. Eating highly processed foods has all sorts of health risks associated with it compared to natural, unprocessed foods, and there are plenty of people letting us know. And in all these situations, we sometimes choose to take the option with risks (in the case of foods, perhaps we do this often even!!). That is fine, it is everybody's choice to make. But it is also everybody's right to be informed about the risks, so that the decision they make is an informed one. There is nothing worse than finding out something afterwards, which would have changed your decision if you'd known earlier.

[maz]

I didnt give up anything....I gave myself the choice to try and nurtute the best I could

[tattoo_mama]

wow amazing how one question always turns into the BF vs FF debate. this might be a little OTT but in MY situation, i could not give up my mental health to BF DD. as much as i wanted to BF her, i was put on (and am still on) heavy medication which would have harmed her if i BF... im not sure how formula feeding can cause 'health risks for mother and baby' that doesnt really make sense to me....i dont understand the debate....if you can BF, i applaud you, but if you FF, well done too... you have made a hard, calculated decision as i did and we should all be proud of ourselves....BF or FF alike.