So first off, sorry to be such a whinger. I'm just very upset this morning and need to get some stuff off my cheasticals, literally
I thought the bigger DS got the easier he will be to feed but it's just getting harder and harder. He is so awkward. He fusses and fights but wants it at the same time. He squeals like a piglet and is stiff as a plank of wood.
We are still using the shield so I have to fight him and it at the same time. Because he fusses I have to chase his mouth around with the nipple which is really difficult when you holding a shield on also.
Then he won't attach properly and slips off every few seconds at first then every few mins. He can't handle my fast flow well an gulps massive lots of air, then gets shocking wind. We have tried every position many times and he fusses with all of them.
He vomits alot, massive amounts of water/saliva with stringy bits of milk in it. Sometimes more like cottage cheese. Depends on how long since he has drank.
The really annoying thing is when we are out in public or at the LC or aba meetings or have people over he is perfect. So no one sees how much we really struggle when we are alone. He must really hate me.
I'm just not loving this stage of our BFing journey. I'm considering going back to ebm for a while but it's so time consuming. I need to remember how hard it was to get him to BF so maybe by doing the ebm I'll realise how much better it is with the booby. I would not consider formula at all as my supply is huge and there's just no need.
You're not alone! We're not using a shield, but Amelia is exactly the same with the fussing and fighting, yet wanting it more than ever. I'm going crazy...
Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks
It's very hard for you at the moment. I wonder if you could see it another way. I had a mum I worked with a little while ago who had a baby with a high arched palate, and a short tongue. It was really hard for her. This baby also had problems feeding with a bottle, found it hard to maintain suction and milk slopped everywhere. I explained to her that he had a feeding disability. Some people have asthma, for some it might be a club foot. Others might have a baby with hip displaysia. It all is a little out of the ordinary, and makes mothering difficult and more time-consuming. Mothers of babies with a disability have to work harder than other mums - but often it is not recognised, so they can often be left feeling "It's them" (the mother) Or that the baby is making life hard for them. But it's a situation not of their own making that unfortunately they have to deal with. I don't know if this way of thinking would help you?
You can always safely vent here or at your ABA group - nothing says we have to suffer in silence, and as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.
you're not a whinger. i don't think there are too many that find BFing to be a complete breeze or at least as easy as they might expect! that's why we're all here to listen & let you know that it's okay not to love it & that we'll support you through the tough days.
I'm at work hun, so have to be quick, but wanted to say it sounds like you're doing an amazing job! I also needed to use nipple shields for the first 12 weeks or so of BF so totally get what a PITA they can be!
But one tip my LC gave me which turned out to make life much easier was to hand express a few droplets of milk around the edge of the shield before you start. Doing this makes it much, much easier to keep the shield in place because the moisture holds it there iykwim. It also means it's less work for bubs to get a let down (which a shield can make a bit more difficult) and they can smell the milk so are more inclined to attach without the battle.
Hope this helps, hang in there, I know it's hard to believe at this point it time but it will get easier... It just happens very slowly, but in 6 weeks you'll be looking back and think OMG how far have we come. GL
Good on you for sticking with it, I can see that you really want it to work. You're not a whinger at all! That's what we are here for. Hope it sorts itself out soon xo
Couldn't read and not post- he doesn't hate you mumma, but you do sound frustrated. It sounds like it's been a tough journey already, so I just wanted to remind you what an amazing job you've been doing- looking at your ticker, you've made it to 6 weeks! That's amazing, you've stuck out one of the toughest periods, you're a strong woman!
You mentioned he feeds better when you're in public- can you see anything you're doing differently during those times?
Although we didn't have any attachment issues, DS had difficulty with my fast flow (particularly on one side due to torticollis, he couldn't 'catch me')- 2 things I did helped. The first was expressing a little before feeding so the 'shoot out' happened before he could get shot, and the other was burping a couple of times every feed (with a cloth nearby to catch the leaks). It made feeding a time consuming process, but I changed my thinking to using it as 'cuddle time' I wouldn't have had otherwise. (wriggles and all)
And....sometime between 8-12 weeks, my flow settled down, so it didn't go quite so quickly. It allowed both of us to relax a lot more.
Ds2 I used a shield with. He simply couldn't attach without it. I used to express a little milk into the shield then pop him on so he had something to drink before the rest of the milk came through if that make sense?
I ended up going to full time expressing but my sons issues with attachment was due to a medication he was on made him so sleepy so we had a reason.
With your fast flow lean back on the chair so he has to work at getting the milk (if he allows that of course) With Ds3 I had a very fast flow and he would choke and fuss. I would get him attached then recline the chair. Until we got that sorted at home I used EBM when we were out. once we both got comfortable with each other it was just booby all the time
Have you looked into reflux? He sounds a lot like DD - and is the same age as she when diagnosed.
Just a thought.
It sounds like he might be picking up some of your frustrations too. How are YOU when he's doing this? Are you feeling tense and stressed? Have you tried having a bath or shower with him just before? Or even feeding when he's in the bath with you? Also, how is he feeding lying down? I found that to be our saviour when things were stressing me out - I just took us both off to bed!
I'll send you that Music for dreaming CD too. It's lovely.
Hugs hun Xxx
We don't have attachment issues, but since all of C's reflux symptoms started she has gone from being an easy feeder to a PITA. Fuses,whines,can't get it fast enough but then keeps coming off and crying cos she's not getting milk! GP told me its all related to her reflux so cant hurt to ask your dr.
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Not loving it *vent*
you're not a whinger. i don't think there are too many that find BFing to be a complete breeze or at least as easy as they might expect! that's why we're all here to listen & let you know that it's okay not to love it & that we'll support you through the tough days.
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