Why cant some women breastfeed?

[MantaRay]

There are a number of reasons, but as pp have pointed out, most commonly people could have enough milk if they were given the right support. Not having the ability to produce enough milk is not common. Some of the major physical reasons why people can't breast feed include previous breast reduction surgery (might cause a problem but doesn't necessarily) and being on medications that are not safe during bfing. There is also a conditional where a woman can't stand to have a baby on her breast - this is an actual physical condition but is most common during pg. Otherwise there are various emotional reasons like previous sexual abuse. And of course the biggie, bad advice, lack of support etc.

And for the record, going back to work is not a reason to stop bfing. I continued to bf while working and know of others who have too. This might be harder for some than others due to the availibility of somewhere to express in the workplace, but in general it can be done quite easily - we just think it can't be done because there is not enough awareness of it.

[Mikenzees mum]

I had a few reasons, kenzee has never been stong enough to feed at the breast i did try and i also expressed and tube and botle fed her with it but had to top up as well with formular, she is also intolerant to protein and weat, when trying to express i never got barely any milk all, and kenzee has never been able to sustain hydration or her weight with oral feeds she has also has major digestion issues and at 14 months old is back to 100 percent tube feeds on a continuos feed for 24 hours a day with a formualr called neocate as it is the only thing she can tolerate (she still has issues with that ), at the moment she is being fed into her tummy but very soon she is having a operation to put a tube into her intestivnes and she will be fed into there for the forseeable future

Im sure some may read this and say that thats not an excuse and in a way that is true i could have cut out all her NO NO foods from my diet and i could have expressed and put breast milk down her tube sounds easy for some im sure but let me tell unless you have done it you dont know, also i would have been paranoid as to what i put in my mouth as if she gets protein she pukes and poos blood, what sort of breast feeding relation ship would that be squeezing it into a botle praying it didnt make her sick whilst putting it dwon her tube not a great way to bond

For me putting her on neocate formular was the best thing i ever did and i here people say things like you bubs that arent breast fe dont bond with there mums any one who thinks that only need to see my and kenzee together to see thats not true,

I know the saying breast is best i have been told that 1000000s of times from people and i dont dispute that in most cases it is but not always and as i except that in most cases it is i wish that others would sometimes see the other side.

so thats my reasons any one has any questions ask away i think i have covered it but maybe not well enough

[visitor1]

I could BF and wanted to, but due to lack of support and help from the maternity ward i just was so flustered i stopped trying and just went FF. But this time im going to perserve this time and if i dont get the help...ill try learn myself!

[RachaelAustin]

During my lactation studies, they basically have the philosophy "if you can gestate, you can lactate"! Around 95% of women can sucessfully breastfeed their babies. However the most common concern for new mums is lack of supply. For the most part,if you demand feed (baby led feeding) and do not have more than 4 hours between feeds you will make enough milk for baby to thrive. THis said, it is vital that the mother have an adequate diet, especially rich in essential omegas. If attachemnt is a problem, and you don't have to have sore nipples to have an attachment problem, supply WILL ALWAYS suffer. It is true, if you have been really stressed through labour/caesear you will have delayed lactogenesis II (milk coming in). During this time it is absoluelty critical to have as much skin to skin contact as possible and allow baby to stoke, nuzzle and feed.
I have met 1 mother who COULDN'T breastfeed, she had NO breasts,she'd had breast cancer and had them both removed.
But there are other condition that decrease milk production, such as an underlying medical reason, frequently one that is undiagnosed.

Personally, I had undiagnosed coeliac disease (gluten allergy). I found out when my first born was 10 months or there abouts. I knew I had a low supply, but was told otherwise by professionals who didn' t listen. They you got your do gooder types who told me it was ok to FF. I continue to breastfeed my son, now 3 AND my 6 month old girl. At first with my son I breastfed 20 hours a day, (while studying my midwifery degree) and expressed after each feed for about 9 months. WHen he went 2 hours during the night I'd wake up and express in between, I'd be lucky to get out 5 mls. I never felt a let down. I do with my girl though. I stopped expressing by the time he was about 18 months because he was having adequate solids to support his nutritional requirements. Hard work but worth it. I looked at it as short term hard work, long term gain. I helped feed my nephew for my SIL when she was having breastfeeding troubles... now that was a long night lol.

Other reasons: breast surgery, particularly reduction surgery when the nerves are cut.
lack of breast development, ie, look like male breast tissue.
Baby might have tongue tie which needs simple operation
cleft palate can make it difficult.

I'm sure there are other reasons, just cannot htink atm.. In reality though, there are very few common reasons. With good management and advice 95% of women CAN breastfeed. It is just getting access to this good advice that is hard.

[*becstar*]

I was SO naive before I have DS! My view was why the hell would you NOT bf....it's so good for the baby, so natural and of course so cheap! When I had DS and was having attachment problems and milk supply problems all this built up expectation just put me under pressure. The more stressed I was the worse things got, it was awful. The cause was a lack of education granted.....I will admit that. The midwives didn't have time to properly help me which meant they also had problems getting DS to attach which made me feel even more hopeless, if they couldn't do it how could I? The last straw was when I had cracked and bleeding nipples the lactation consultant finally came to see me and even SHE couldn't help DS and I to attach properly. That's when I kicked it in. I have no regrets at all, my children are happy, healthy and very bright children. I only have two 'issues' about my time bf:

1. I was not supported enough. Given the time and information I could have bf.

2. I was led to feel like a failure if I chose ff.

My firm belief now, bf is more than just physical, my body may have coped eventually but I couldn't. I felt so stressed and like the biggest failure. All my energy was going into trying to feed, thinking about feeding, when the most important thing was my new baby. I needed to put energy into him, and our new life.

The important thing is our babies, no one should feel judged about the way they feed their babies. I know if happens to both ff and bf, and it's so wrong!

[paradise lost]

Sheila Kitzinger did a great book called Breastfeeding Your Baby, which covers everything from normal birth and feeding to c-section births, preemie babies, ill babies, cleft palate and Downs syndrome (often find it difficult to coordinate a good suck), what to do if your supply is low (really low, and how to tell if it's actually fine and you just think it's low), how to tandem feed, ways Daddy can help out, the works. It's not a massive book, it's quite slim and very clear and direct with LOADS of inspiring and educational photos. I read it lots and lots during PG and had it on hand afterwards. I was lucky that DD knew what she was doing, but i felt a bit more confident about encountering problems (while knowing they weren't too likely) having the book there. I'd recommend it to any mother wanting to feel confident about breastfeeding before she's actually experienced it.

ETA: Bec you're totally right that BF is not only physical - it's a psychosexual response similar to orgasm (not sexual, but the same level of physical function). Just as you can't have sex if your not in the right place, let-down/milk production can be totally absent when a woman is sufficiently under pressure or depressed. I know when i was losing my milk (thyroid problem and supplemeting with FF combination) the let-down for the breastpump was the first thing to go. I felt totally turned off by this lump of plastic i had to operate by hand and no amount of "thinking about my baby" made any difference - 80mls in 45 minutes if i was lucky, and sore, bruised nipples afterwards. Then my let-down for DD took longer and longer and eventually she wouldn't suck anymore as she would have rather had the bottle which was instant gratification. I too felt awful when it all stopped working - i wanted to feed for at least the first year. My XP even accused me of weaning early so i could get better contraception for myself and my new partner - a particularly cruel thing to say when he knew i was ill and struggling and stressed. But i guess by then he was judging EVERYTHING i did, so why would BF be off-limits....? People are just so judgemental, whatever you do. My mother used to tell me "you can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself" but in fact even SHE wanted me to do what she wanted me to do. LOL.

Hana

[Kerri27]

My first two DD were only breastfed for the first week or two as my milk wasnt enough for them. No matter how long they were on the boob , I just didnt have a letdown. So they were only getting the foremilk (and not much of it too). My DD#2 wasnt having enough wet nappies and was constantly screaming as she was hungry. I was a wreak which didnt help the production of milk too. My GP said quote " Just starve her, she will get the idea . " He was pro breastfeeding as you can tell. With that I went straight to the chemist and brought formula. She slept for hours after that and was content and happy , and starting having wet nappies. So I didnt look back. I did end up getting masitits though. Not happy Jan...
Then when DD #3 was born. it all fell into place. She is the best little breastfeeder. Even the midwives said that she will be on the boob till she is two...

[MrsFabuloso]

I too have been unable to exclusively bf my dd. Like you kerri27, I have a low supply and I suspect I also have no propper let down. DD was happy for about a week and then started screaming all day when we came home from hospital. I couldn't figure out why and was feeding her for what felt like 20 hours a day. I was a mess by the time we decided to go to the doctor and my poor dd was still screaming all day only to fall into exhausted sleep at night. Now that shes on the bottle she's a different baby and I am also happy. I am still bf her whatever I can, but it isn't much since she will drink nearly a whole bottle every time. She really likes to have a bf just for comfort I think. I am sad that I can't bf her as I went through alot to get my milk going, but it was just not to be. I was in no state mentally to continue at the time. I hope that I can feed future children as I do believe it is best.
I didn't answer the question, but I just wanted to say that we're not alone in not being able to feed our bubs. It is nice to know that you are successfully feeding your DD now though Kerri27. There is hope for me yet!!

[Impatient]

I didn't have enough milk with DD#1. She cried constantly and wanted to be fed for an hour, only to want another feed half an hour later (day and night). I tried expressing and what took an hour to express, she drank in 10 minutes. I gave up after two weeks as I wasn't coping well and she wasn't putting on weight. Once I started FF, she was so much happier - as was I! My milk was gone within 2 days.

With DD#2 My colostrum levels weren't high enough for my hungry greedy guts, so I had to offer the bottle twice in the first wo days. After that I had plenty of milk. She was also latching on ok but her mouth was just too small and was unable to take enough of the breast in her mouth. That caused excruciating pain every time she latched on, causing my entire body to shake. I got help and they were able to confirm I was doing it correctly, so there was no way to fix it until she got a bit bigger (other than really strong pain killers!) and again I gave up - it wasn't good at all that I was dreading every feed and my supply was suffering due to the stress.

My older daughter is extremely healthy and rarely has a day off school. She hasn't suffered with only 2 weeks of BF at all, and after a couple of weeks of beating myself up for "failing" again with DD#2, I realised that I did what I could and that a happy, calm mummy is better than a stressed, tense mummy!

[BellyBelly]

Can I just ask a question, I am being curious and not meaning to offend, as you know I have the parliament presentation soon and I would like to be prepared... but who is telling you you have no milk? Is it yourself who comes to that conslusion, is it a midwife, MCHN, lactation consultant? Would love to know...

[{sarah}]

Are you asking anyone specifically Kelly or all of us in general?

For me, the midwives at the hospital kept telling me to feed Zander, keep him on constantly if I had to as he was getting dehydrated - few wet nappies, dry mouth, cracked & peeling skin around his mouth, constant screaming, low BSL, I think that was it. So I had him on for an hour off for an hour (probably, I wasn't timing exactly!) for around 18 hours & nothing had changed. In the end I was frustrated, he was crying, I was crying & I asked for a bottle. The midwife I asked questioned it & when I told her the above she just said ok here's your bottle. That day I went home (he was 3 days old) and for the next week we had a different midwife come to the house every day to check up on us. I told each one the same story & everyone was just satisfied with me giving Zander formula.

No-one suggested anything to help boost my supply or recommended an LC or anything like that. In new mum mode & after all the stress I had been through I wasn't in any frame of mind to think of these sorts of things myself. Dunno, that might sound like a dodgy excuse, but it's what was happening at the time for me.

[BellyBelly]

Everyone please! I want to know so I can mention it in my submission, what everyone is going through...

[Trillian]

Kelly, you know most of this about my circumstances, but it was me who knew there was no milk - you feed a baby 12 times a day and she is still starving gives you an idea that there is no milk. You go for a whole day of not BF and not have your breasts fill up and get nothing when trying to express at the end of that day - that tells you there is no milk. Having a PPH and never having enough milk to start with compounded by a struggling tired body trying to produce blood and milk. Out of 3 children I think there was only one who could have been a BF success - and that was a failure due mostly to lack of education, lack of support and lack of access to LC's.

ETA - Kelly, would this be handy for your submission? Sherie's parenting de-brief - it's my BF journey for the three kids.

[Percy]

I think a lot of the time people just have no support and don't know where to go for that support. A lot of PP's have mentioned they didn't see an LC or even know to contact one - they just went onto formula.

I also think that a lot of th emothers osund like they were stressed trying to feed their babies - especially in the first few days - surely that is not helpful for milk production?

I do think that the availability of formula has an influence on women giving up - its easy to make the choice (even though there is the guilt) as formula is so easily accessible.

As for mothers breastfeeding in the past, I do think that today's diet has a lot to so with the milk production. Again the stess we put on ourselves is surely greater when you didn't have the choice to give up? When you just had to breastfeed, you just did it.

In the 70's and 80's formula was all the rage - my mother says she was the only one of her friends who breastfed - she was looked on as a freak for not embracing the modern feeding techniques.

[smylie]

Hi Kelly

I have one friend who was told by a Clinic nurse she didnt have enough milk, and she HAD to formula feed baby as well as express she expressed for two weeks (she would shut herself up in her house with the curtains shut to do this as she was embarrassed) then "ran out" of milk and stopped expressing when she was not getting a whole feed out after expressing every 4 hours... (dont know where she got expressing instructions i am pretty sure it was the GP she went to for second opinion on not enough milk NOT a LC)

Another friend had cracked sore nipples but was perserving with breastfeeding... on day 10 she had a follow up midwife visit at home and her baby lost weight and the midwife that came to her house said she was feeding the baby wrong and told her to get rid of the dummy and to do this and that (not supportivly) so totally shattered my friends confidence then my friend asked her friend who used be like a wet nurse and gave her tips but not before giving the baby formula , my friend then expressed for a little while and then about 2 or 4 weeks after that "ran out" of milk as was only getting 5 mls out when expressing.

Another friend hated the idea of breastfeeding was told by her HUSBAND her boobs were useless and coincendentally the day she came home from hospital (day 3) her baby refused her boob and then her milk dried up.... hmmmmmm

so answer to question: Clinic Health Nurse then GP, Homevist Midwife & Husband

[{sarah}]

ou feed a baby 12 times a day and she is still starving gives you an idea that there is no milk. You go for a whole day of not BF and not have your breasts fill up and get nothing when trying to express at the end of that day - that tells you there is no milk.

Exactly the same here & they never filled up in the first place for me - felt the same all the time.

[mbear]

Kelly i dont know if this helps, whilst i never had a milk supply prob, infact ive successfuly b/f both my two girls, my persistance and drive to b/f my children seemed to win over in the end - even against the midwives advice !!!.

I had retained placenta during labour with DD#1, after a quick cuddle of DD, and i was wheeled off to emergency for manual removal - i was gone for 5 hours. In that 5 hours DH was left literally with a screaming baby.....midwives, doctors all telling him - 'just give her a bottle, just give her a bottle" - DH knew my passion for b/f and flattely refused (very hard for a first time dad to do!!) . For 5 hours he endured this, and when i finally returned from theatre, i lay there and finally got to b/f my baby . Had hubbie not have realised my strong desire to b/f i really think the bottle of formula would have been given to DD.....even though in all my notes etc i had expressed my desire to b/f.

So im my situation, i didnt really have the support of midwives or dr's.....it was our willpower and our intention to b/f that saw us to the end.....i dont feel medical staff supported this....

[MantaRay]

Interesting question Kelly. I wonder the same thing. We are told that 95% of women are able to bf, yet I have heard so many stories of women saying they didn't have enough milk. IRL many of my friends are in this group, and of course there are heaps here on BB too.

A bit off topic, but I saw a GP the other day who I hadn't seen before, and the topic came up about Jack's tongue-tie and how he couldn't attach until it was snipped. The GP told me that he was no expert in bfing, but that he had been told by LCs that a tongue-tie did not prevent attachment. My experience says otherwise, and I'm sure it depends on the degree of the tongue-tie. But if the LCs don't know, what hope is there for everyone else.