thread: Argh this is so hard!!

  1. #1
    kirsty_lee Guest

    Argh this is so hard!!

    Please excuse if this is all over the place I am working on very very little sleep. Ok, so with Ava-Jayde I only got to 10 weeks breastfeeding. My hospital was absolute crap and offered absolute no help at all, more like just getting up me for doing it "wrong" so I never knew what I was doing. So this time I really really REALLY wanted to be able to do it. So I am having some issues and really would love someone to be able to help me out lol cause im confused

    Ok, so Paige was REALLY hard to get out... like instead of taking the 10-15 minutes for an elective csection baby to come out, it took about 45 minutes of them pulling and tugging etc. She wasn't ready at all by the sounds, quite comfy lol. I was given a bigger cut and then in the end given a T cut to get her out. When she was born she was really stunned. I mean she looked like she had this permanent WTF look on her face. Anyway, she had to be taken to SCN because her blood sugars were quite bad and she was again, so stunned they were concerned. We didn't have our first feed until I was back on the ward. She was brought to me sort of here and there to feed but her BSL were really not good and they were getting really concerned so she ended up in SCN again with a nasal gastric tube being fed formula and having blood ***** tests done constantly to check her bsl. They wanted her to get 3 readings over 2.5... which wasn't happening. So.. for god knows what reason, they didnt get me to express.. even hand express so I kind of started "behind" with my bfing. So it wasn't until about lunch time on the second day that I got her back and was just exclusively breastfeeding (she was still getting bsl checked though) so all she was doing (obviously) was just sucking and ended up needing more top ups because she was sucking but not swallowing itms. So one of the great midwives sat with me, looked at my attachment which she said was excellent and showed me tricks to keep her awake while feeding and told me that the next day she wanted me to feed every 3 hours on the dot. So I did.. we had a really good day .. she fed every 3 hours like clock work, it was great. Then the night time came and holy CRAP. Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck... I think I had maybe 2 hours sleep cause she just wouldn't get off my boob. Saturday afternoon/sunday morning my milk came in and yesterday she did pretty well again I gave her a feed and put her to "bed" about 9ish she woke up at 12midnight so I got up to feed her thinking she would go back down. *sigh* this is where I try not to cry!!! This morning, I had Paige on my boob from midnight until 7am. Constantly. I mean no longer than a 15 minute break. She would have both boobs, she would be put down wrapped and in about 5 minutes she was awake crying again "eating" the air ... you know that im hungry feed me now sort of thing. So back on the boob. 7am came and I was exhausted cause she kept doing it!! So a friend suggested maybe she was comfort sucking (not to mention that she's not been having a huge amount of wet nappies) so try a dummy? I didn't want to use a dummy this time because of all the crap I have copped from Ava using a dummy but I thought ok, we'll give it a go. I put the dummy in and she started sucking right away. Started to dose off. But even that didn't last. She just kept pulling the dummy out and screaming. Or you put the dummy in her mouth and she'd still be screaming and crying and carrying on.. like HELLO ITS IN YOUR MOUTH START SUCKING!!! soooo this has still continued all day.. then she had a feed at 11 ish .. one side... fell asleep and is still asleep So I am UTTERLY confused! Is she just having a bad day by wanting to be on the boob from midnight-7am? Am I stupid because I fed her for that long? I mean what else was I to do? Or is this just her figuring out her own breastfeeding routine and it will pass? I dont know????? Sorry this is so all over the place Im just completely confused.. is this normal? am I not doing something right?

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    Jul 2008
    a slice of paridise, victoria
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    if Miss P is feeding from mid-night to 7am have you (or would you) think about co-sleeping? she'd still be "stunned" not being constantly fed 24/7 like she was in your belly KWIM?
    Vic was like this too for about 2 or 3 days after we came out of hopsital then he kind of settled down. i put it down to him wanting more milk so sucking until my body clicked to make more for him? as you'd know breastfeeding is a supply and demand kind of thing, so this kind of thing i will happen from time to time
    you're doing a really good job and i honestly think it too shell pass

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2009
    Scottish expat living in Geelong
    5,572

    first of all big hugs You didn't have the start you wanted, but it sounds like your milk has come in really well. Paige wants to be close to you, which is normal, and feeding a lot is also normal as she gets used to life outside the womb.

    That said, feeding from midnight to 7am is most likely for comfort rather than solely for nutrition, and I wonder if she has a sore tummy and is using you because of that. She sounds exactly like my DS2 and it took a while to get used to the fact that even breastfed babies get wind sometimes and need burping. After a feed try lying her over your knees with her head slightly lower than her tummy, and rub her back (for maybe 15 seconds) then lift her upright and pat her back upwards. That should bring up any wind that is giving her a sore tummy.

    If she has another night when she is awake all night, at some point in the night go and wake your OH and get him to take her for a couple of hours (even for a walk in the pram or just around the living room) whilst you get some rest. I know it is hard to wake someone else when only you can breastfeed her, but she will be ok for a couple of hours without milk if she has been feeding non stop, and the rest is important for you. If you find a dummy helps her then it will be ok to use one, as long as you are not giving her a dummy instead of a feed. It sounds like you are doing a great job though, I hope you have managed to get some rest whilst she has been sleeping.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    Traveller has given you great advice, it's hard the first few weeks. We give Ds a dummy as he loves to suck due to his reflux. He also hates being wrapped tight so maybe try loosening the wrap just a little bit? Hope you can settle into a better routine.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    KL
    It sounds a bit like she's got day and night mixed up (which is pretty normal for little newborns) and is doing the usual arvo/evening fussy thing through the night.
    2 suggestions - try feeding her more frequently during the day, at least 2 hourly if you can. And try taking her outside if you can (not sure how mobile you are), a bit of sun is good (weather permitting).
    How many wet/dirty nappies are you getting?
    Do you have access to a lactation consultant through your hospital? Getting some expert, in-person help and advice might be really useful for you. Otherwise you can always call the ABA for support too.
    You're doing really well, just hang in there it will get easier.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Victoria
    7,260



    It is common for them to want to feed through a sore tummy. So they will feed feed feed, but when they get a bubble, or are full etc, and get a sore tummy, the sucking actually makes it feel better.
    This of course only compounds the problem because they are adding to the problem by feeding more...

    Make sure you are burping her, even BF babes often need it, so burp her after each breast (she may not actually burp, but the upright forces any air bubbles to rise to the top JIC).
    She could also just be trying to stimulate your milk. If you were a bit behind the 8 ball to begin with, she may just be trying to up your flow. Remember it is dictated by her suckling how much milk you produce.

    Sounds like you are doing an awesome job though! Perhaps if she repeats this cluster feeding in the wee hours pattern, offer the breast more often during the day, say every 2 hours rather than every 3.
    Are you actually demand feeding her fully or are you sticking to the 3 hour thing the midwife got you on in hossie?

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Firstly, congrats!!

    I don't remember how long ago she was born? Your milk has come in now has it? Probably a bit of comfort sucking and also getting your supply up? So she's having longer naps during the day than at night? Try taking her out for a walk during the day so she knows it's day time and at night when you feed her try not to turn the lights on, have them dimmed, so she knows night time is when we sleep!!

    Big it will get easier. She's still getting used to the world!

  8. #8
    kirsty_lee Guest

    Thanks for the replies guys!

    She was born on the Thursday just gone

    And yep just demand feeding the midwifes suggestion was great, but lucky for me Paige was waking on her own every 3 hours, so it was still sort of demand. I spoke to a midwife today and she also said maybe sore tummy. cause shes not done a poo since yesterday morning i think...

  9. #9
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
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    can't help right now, have a screamer.
    Here for support though

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Victoria
    7,260

    Ah, yep. Lots of circular motions with her legs together, clockwise... hold her legs together at her ankles and (gently! lol) push them up and around so her knees bend and roll them around straight again itms.
    Also clockwise circular gentle massage on her belly will help move things along for her so she isn't constipated, works wonders right after a warm bath.

  11. #11
    kirsty_lee Guest

    Thanks Lime! My other thought to re; the milk was that for the first like what.. 24 hours of her life she was being fed forumla and then came back to me for breastmilk.. well.. colostrum.. so maybe that's another reason too

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Victoria
    7,260

    Probably why she is a little constipated I would have thought, but DD never had formula, so only going by what I have read lol

  13. #13
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    DD1 was very sensitive as a bub to any milk changes. From my milk to formula, one formula to another, the back to the original. She got constipated every time.
    Any chance you have glycerine? A little on her dummy might help her do a poo.
    I'd try maybe upping the feeds to 2 hours? See if that helps? DS breast fed 2 hourly, DD does as well.
    give it time. She will settle. The first 6 or so weeks are the hardest for both of you.
    Look after yourself xx

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Getting as much breastmilk into her as possible should get her bowels moving - it's an effective laxative.

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2009
    Qld
    367

    Its very normal to have a period of a couple of days in the first week that they will feed like this. They are trying to ensure your supply well and truly comes in, and to help put back the weight lost after birth. Let her feed as often as she likes, and she probably go back to her 3 hourly pretty soon. But remember though that a lot of babies have a cluster feeding period during a day, but not as severe as this first crazy stint they do. You will soon learn to be able to pick up the different between comfort sucking and actual feeding. If they are comfort sucking the jaw and swallowing motion are different, are her ear lobes wiggling? and can you hear and see swallowing? If you can then she is drinking and probably is actually wanting the milk, generally if they are full or don't require the milk, they won't want to swallow.

    But there is nothing wrong with using you as a dummy, she has just spent the last 9 months being comforted and held by you, and all of a sudden that warmth and sounds have disappeared. They have to now learn to feed, digest and are sleeping in their own space, away from you. Some babies go through an adjustment period where they are learning all these new sensations and it can be upsetting for them, so in the mean time, plenty of hugs and comfort, and its great for bonding time, until they grow comfortable in their new environment.

    She may as well be slightly upset by the change in milk, the formula may have not been sitting well with her, and it might take some time for her tummy to get better. They don't have to poo every day, up to 10 days is normal for a bf baby. I remember DD1 not going for 3 days in the first week and asking if it were normal. Being a natural laxative, it would be helping with any constipation caused by the formula, so there is no need to give anything, she will go when she is ready.

    Try to encourage her body clock to come around to your own, so during the day, have the house nice and bright, talk to her while feeding etc. Then at night, try to feed with minimal lighting, no noise and minimal fuss. It will help her work out night from day.

    I think you are doing wonderful so far, I promise it only gets easier.

  16. #16
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    iv got no advice - huge congrats on the birth of Paige x