Thanks guys!

Well I think I heard some swallowing tonight so that's good. Bloody frustrating when you really don't know how much they're getting especially when you've previously thought that all was good only for DD to lose weight. She's taken about 80ml after each feed which I know sounds like a full feed but ordinarily she would take anything between 80-150ml per feed so maybe she is getting some from the boob.

Anyhoo, trying not to freak out too much by the fact that I really have two weeks to sort this out before DP goes back to work because it is tricky enough to attempt a breastfeed, then give formula/EBM then express with DP here either to entertain our toddler or do the bottlefeed. I really think doing all that will be impossible once DP goes back to work. It's like doing three feeds every feed instead of one so very, very time-consuming.

I guess I just get a little frustrated that it's so hard to do everything that needs doing. More skin-to-skin would be lovely except that it's bloody freezing here. Seriously. It's not uncommon for it to be minus 2 in the morning. I tried the baby-led attachment last night when she should have been due for a feed. Put her on my chest, my boobs were actually dripping milk (yeah, glamorous I know) and DD just carried on sleeping. If I wake her before she's ready then she's too sleepy to feed, if I wait till she wakes then I run the risk of her turning into a screaming banshee and being more difficult to put on the boob. Sometimes I use a nipple shield because my boobs are a bit sore, then I get frustrated that one false move in positioning her means it goes flying. I should stay in bed with her for the day but I can't bloody well get comfy and find it hard to then change position if I don't get attachment right first go. I find it easier sitting in a chair where I can use my feet to move my bum. I feel guilty if I don't wake her to feed more often and feel guilty when I'm not expressing. I just have to keep telling myself that we're both learning and it will take some time and that's fine. I'm just not well-known for my patience when I'm not instantly good at something.

OK, little vent over. Tomorrow is another day and we have a birthday party for DD1