Hi Lee
Just tell the nosey buggers to bugger off as there comments are warranted and they don't know what they are talking about.
My mum tried to tell my sister to put her DD on the bottle cause she was too little and the reason for it was because of BFing, well anyway she successfully BF her DD for 16 months and she if just a petite framed little girl, anyway my point is that ppl think they know it all cause they have raised all there kids and that warrants giving every other mother there advice...just take it with a pinch of salt hun cause you know you are doing what is right!
I have been on the receiving end of criticism from both teams! With my first one, after a very traumatic birth, which I am only now really beginning to understand, he refused to latch, not just refused but we had very very definate breast refusal which devastated me as I had always assumed that bf is just what you do. So after 6 weeks of expressing and lactation consultants, and being so down from feeling rejected I gave up. I remember constantly getting comments like, oh, your not bf, and little insinuations that I had given up too easily, that I was a bad mother, the but don't you know how good it is for the baby....etc. etc. So I was damned for not. Someone (and old man actually) shook his head at me and said loudly in a cafe young people are so lazy these days, not even feeding their own children. Where were the bottle feeding advocates then, or do they not support but only criticise. Now that my no. 2 DD has taken so well that at 19 months he is still going strong the bottle feeding advocates are crawling all over me. ... don't you know how easy a bottle is..... there is nothing wrong with bottles you know......are you still going to be feeding him when he's 21...... fortunately fellow bfeeders do come out and support me, but I still object to the suggestion that people bottle feed out of laziness, and feel really sad when people are made to feel that their milk is inadequate and end up switching due to misinformation. And having done both, bottles with DD1 and Bf with DD2 I feel I can take them on, yes I do know how easy bottles are, and bf is so much easier! Having said that I wish more women would just be supportive of whatever a fellow woman chooses to do, I love these forums because people are supportive, I must live in a very negative area where my neighbours have nothing better to do than find reasons to critisize. I am now pregant again, and still intend to Bf as long as DD2 wants, and may even tanden feed, part of me wants to do it just to cause a stir, once people have seen it done and get used to me doing it it might not be so foreign to them! Thank you to the person who said we are pioneers, and somewhere there was a mention of milk making superpowers, all very boosting and invigorating thoughts!!
Lee - I was thinking about this some more. Feel free to ignore the following completely, and I hope it doesn't upset you.
You might want to make sure DD1 is as ready to wean as she can be, although you don't intend to do it. By that I mean things like: making sure you have found some sort of other milk that she likes, making sure she has the hang of cups and so on and can give herself a drink when you are busy with bub2, and starting now to get the idea into her head that sometimes she has to wait for a breastfeed, or maybe have something else instead.
If you do have to really wean, and she associates all these changes with the new arrival, that could be more traumatic for everyone.
Oh, man, I would LOVE if DS is still feeding when I'm pg again!!! I will actually be a bit upset if he self-weans beforehand or during - how odd is that going to sound to people who don't understand tandem feeding??
DS asks for his Babu and while he's feeding he'll point at the other and say (in spanish) 'the other one'?. Sometimes I wish he COULD just help himself - he has tried my bra catch, but can't quite get it himself
i love bfing while i'm pg. i do get funny looks but i'm starting to get more assertive about other misinformed people's judgements and try to just look straight back at them.
yes kate, my nipples have been a little bit more sore but nothing too serious
I get the your not going to feed them both are you? from people, or they ask do you plan to tandem feed? then nod blankly when I say thats the plan. So I can totally sypathise. People can be quite narrow minded and lacking in tact sometimes. I am pretty good at ignoring it now though.
As for toddlers grabbing for it out in public, Noah is pretty good for the most part but when he wants it bad enough he grabs at it, it is his only form of letting me know as he doesn't vocalise it yet. It's can't always be helped. I do then assume feeding position with him across my lap but am not so sure that will work for so mouch longer due to the expanding belly and when bub is here and he wants a feed at the same time... I can see the challenge now...
Jodie, what an awful and tactless thing to be told. Some people don't have even an ounce of sensitivity in them. Maybe they loathe themselves so much they have to make others feel just as crap.
Teeth!!! Noahs teeth graze my nipples sometimes but it only makes them mildly sore. I have been very extremely lucky and have never had a problem with feeding or nipple problems, I only hope to continue being so lucky.
Lee - I think you're doing a fabulous job and no, it is not time for you to "get over it". You have nothing to get over! You're doing the best you know how for your gorgeous girl and your new baby. The unfortunate thing is that whatever it is, there will always be people out there that think that their way of thinking is correct and that they have the right to tell you so. Saying ignore them is useless but hey, ignore them If you and your DH, and importantly your DD, are happy with the situation then that is all the important people covered. As a mother who has not been able to breastfeed her babies for longer than a few months, I am so incredibly envious that you are still breastfeeding your DD. Knowing that I will never again hold my baby to my breast is pretty heartbreaking at times so I have nothing but admiration and respect for you that you are continuing for as long as it suits your family.
Kate: I agree with you that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I've had a few negative looks in my short breastfeeding life and also some pretty horrid comments while bottle feeding. And whoever said to you how easy bottles were has obviously never had to deal with full time bottle feeding. Why society as a whole doesn't embrace breastfeeding for as long as a child wants it for all its advantages - physical, financial, emotional and time management - is beyond me.
Last edited by LuluHB; October 18th, 2008 at 08:45 PM.
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