Nearly ready to give up

[butterflye]

im struggling to bf my daughter is is 9 weeks 1 day, but 2weeks 1day corrected as she was premmie, and im struggling with night time/early morning feedings, to the point were i have been giving her a bottle of left over frozen ebm from when she was being tube fed. which isnt helping my supply any, but im nearly out of ebm, and do not want to give her forumla at all, but nearly to the point of giving up,
she wants to constantly feed of a night she can drain me(bothsides) and still be hungery. or has a feed then awake again in 20-40mins demanding more and i just havnt filled up enough to satisfy her, so by the end of the night i could be feeding her up to 4 times a hour. im falling asleep with her which realy worrys my partner he said i will sufocate her, ( she always has a apna monitor on) but i find i reposond so much better to her q's when i sleep with her, and she is that much more happier as i dont get stressed when she wants to feed 4 times a hour. and when i sleep with her my milk production during the night tends to go up alot better which = longer sleep periods for her. but last night i made her sleep in bassinitte beside me as my partner was craking it at me for falling alseep with her, which = me getting that tierd i couldnt even wake up to her. and today ive been crying all day because im so upset i did that, im upset about my milk supply upset i fall asleep with her all the time and so forth n just ready to give up. i am on domperidone but isnt helping that much. i just dont know what to do can anyone offer any help or advice? thank you

[onthefly]

butterflye, congrats on your new baby! You've done it tough so far, hey? What a great job you're doing, working so hard and in particularly difficult circumstances.
Are you in touch with an LC to help you with this? You can also call the ABA - 1800-686-268 - for suggestions and support (or just a empathetic ear) 24/7.

It sounds like sleeping with her is helping you both - perhaps if you give your partner some info on safe bed-sharing he might feel more comfortable with it? You might find THIS helpful. Also, the ABA has some info on Sleep.
You need rest, your baby needs you - sleeping together is often the best way for everyone to get what they need.

[No.5]

This is why I ended up co-sleeping, hopefully your supply picks up and she sleeps for longer periods. Have you tried some foods/vitamins that increase your supply?

[Teeki]

Big hugs butterflye

I can remember those early few weeks when DD was increasing my supply, she was constantly attached and it didn't let up overnight. I was like you, just so exhausted I'd fall asleep sitting up, which scared me. I didn't know much about bed-sharing and was nervous about it with such a small baby (this was between 4 days old and 2 months). In the end I just could not physically stay awake with her, so I read up on bed-sharing. DH was still nervous to begin with, so he sat up and watched over us while I slept.

DD and I got amazing sleep like that! Suddenly I didn't need to be awake, DD latched on when she needed to and slept peacefully after. It didn't take DH long to see it was safe, we'd taken precautions and I responded immediately to DD in my sleep. Now we only part-time bed share when DD particularly needs it, and as she's now bigger and quite wriggly DH generally moves to the spare room lol.

If you can safely bed-share, I do recommend it. And if there's any way at all your DP can help and let you get more sleep during the day, do it.

[Arcadia]

I would recommend you feed lying down and bed share. Strip your bed back and wear warm clothes that unzip at the front for easy boob access. Put baby in a sleeping bag and try to minimize pillows, then let baby feed as she wants. You will feel so much better!

We are supposed to sleep with our babies, it's just the blankets and doonas that make it unsafe. Also shift Dh elsewhere if he is not confident about baby in the bed. My Dh sleeps on a single next to the queen. A tiny baby needs to be close to you and you will make more milk if she can access your breasts for stimulation and you keep that oxytocin flowing.

Your milk supply will correct itself to her needs if she has unlimited access to your breasts ie it should settle down!

I hope this helps.

[Babyluv]

Oh my goodness you are doing such an amazing job. I too went through this, not with a preemie though. My dd wanted to feed every hr for 6 weeks in a row and there was no other way around it other than to sleep with her. I agree you should talk to your partner about safe co sleeping. Is there another bed in the house that you and bub can sleep in, maybe your partner is a little worried he might hurt bub. Don't give up, each week things will get easier. You have done so well. I remember those thoughts of wanting to give up. I was so close to it and somehow pushed through. We just stopped breastfeeding a little while ago when dd was 14 months. Can you call the Hospital and ask for the number of a lactation consultant? You're doing great. Keep it up.

[BlackRose]

You're doing great hun! Don't give up!!

Have you tried pumping in between feeds. You may not get much out but it will stimulate your breasts to produce more.

Also I found that my evening supply was a lot less than my morning/day supply and fenugreek helped a lot!

Good luck hun. Hang in there!

[butterflye]

i just wrote a bit reply then accidently closed the page "doh"
firstly thank you everyone for the reply and support
i read my partner all the facts i can find on cosharing but no luck all i got was "i will not be happy if i catch you sleeping with her let me bloody tell you" all because i was a heavy sleeper before her, and bed tosser. and he dont understand im different with her.
we dont have a L/C here unfort shocked me when i asked to hospital to see one n they said we dont have any ( what hospital doesnt )
it probly doesnt help him as we have had 4 m/c and a neonatal death jan last year

[butterflye]

You're doing great hun! Don't give up!!

Have you tried pumping in between feeds. You may not get much out but it will stimulate your breasts to produce more.

Also I found that my evening supply was a lot less than my morning/day supply and fenugreek helped a lot!

Good luck hun. Hang in there!

yes i have but i wont get any milk from a pump n wont let down anymore after bf

[onthefly]

Oh, he must be so afraid It is different when you have a baby with you, of course. Dr James McKenna has done quite a bit of research into the way mums sleep with their babies.
Anyway, what is he doing to help you get more sleep?
Where are you in Aus? Some hospitals don't have LCs, but there are some around in private practice and also some child health nurses are LCs too. They can be a huge help getting things sorted.

[butterflye]

Oh, he must be so afraid It is different when you have a baby with you, of course. Dr James McKenna has done quite a bit of research into the way mums sleep with their babies.
Anyway, what is he doing to help you get more sleep?
Where are you in Aus? Some hospitals don't have LCs, but there are some around in private practice and also some child health nurses are LCs too. They can be a huge help getting things sorted.

after she is fed and she wont settle or awake he will take her so i can sleep or gives her the bottle when i havnt got enough milk, when he isnt working. works 4 days on 4 days off kind of thing. i might go to the drop in clinic and have a talk to the nurce n midwife there on wed, hopful they can help because i dont know how much more i can take, so close to giving up.

[onthefly]

That's good, all help is good. Anyone else who can help you out at home?
Hope you find someone to help with the feeding. If you call the ABA,, they may also be able to point you in the direction of an LC

[PumpkinZulu]

If your partner works nights, and you are doing the feeding and the wakings, then really hun, he shouldn't be telling you that you 'bloody well' not do anything I slept with my daughter in our bed with my husband since birth as it's been a big part of successful breastfeeding for us.