Is no day sleeps related to Trim milk?!

**Sanchez** · December 23rd, 2009, 09:50 AM

Hi all - was wanting some advice from others who have gone before me!

My MIL made a comment to me the other day saying my milk wasn't good enough and i am feeding my baby too often, so clearly she is starving. (believe me steam is still coming out of my ears).

But then it made me think......

Violet is about 3 1/2 months, from about 2 months has stopped sleeping during the day...will have little canaps of up to 40 minutes but no more than that. She is not grizzly though,not like she is tired. She sleeps 10 to 12 hour nights. I would feed her about 6 - 8 times during the day. She will feed and usually happily play for 1-2 hours. She wees and poos heaps so i'm not concerned about quantity. She is putting on stacks of weight.

But my question is....is my milk not fatty enough....is this why she is not having proper sleeps during the day? I wasn't concerned because she is sleeping through the night. But my horrid MIL has made me wonder.

Any advice would be appreciated.

**~Trish~** · December 23rd, 2009, 10:10 AM

Grrrrr to your MIL! Your DD is being perfectly normal and how fantastic are her night sleeps?!

All babies sleep in cycles, usually about 40 minutes (give or take) in length. Some babies don't know how to put themselves back to sleep after one cycle (both my DS's woke at 40 minutes during the day), this usually begins around 2-3 months of age. So it has NOTHING to do with your milk supply, it's just how babies are neurologically made up.

You sound like you are doing a great job

**~Raven~** · December 23rd, 2009, 10:20 AM

My 3.5yo was a terrible day sleeper and he was enormous, chubby and a pooping machine. He would also sleep all night, about 14 hours!

Sometimes they are bad sleepers and it isn't related to milk at all. It's just the way they are. If she's filling her dacks and growing well then tell MIL that your milk is plenty good enough

**sangie** · December 23rd, 2009, 10:22 AM

Sanchez my DS is exactly the same. Up to about a week ago he would only cat nap for 30-40mins but sleep 10 hours or so overnight. He has just started to have one 2 hour sleep during the day. And my DD was exactly the same too!

Tell your MIL it's a load of bollocks lol!

**Megan** · December 23rd, 2009, 11:27 AM

Your baby sounds completely normal to me!

My DS only ever slept 40 mins at a time maybe 3 times per day at that age. Even now that's what he does.
Tell your MIL that your milk is all your DD needs. It frustrates me no end that others make new mums doubt themselves when it comes to breastfeeding. There is a booklet available through the ABA for grandparents that I wish I had bought for my own MIL.
Sounds to me like you're doing a fantastic job and your DD is thriving.

**Ginger** · December 23rd, 2009, 11:30 AM

your baby sounds completely normal and your milk sounds perfect!
please don't let your MIL undermine your confidence, you're doing a great job

**Barb Glare** · December 23rd, 2009, 02:14 PM

Scientists the word over have tested women's milk. It turns out that the composition and quantity are pretty much the same, even where mothers are malnourished.
I wonder how many perfectly fine breastfeeding relationships will be scuttled these holidays, by ignorant and unthinking relatives?
Sanchez, you know you are doing a fine job with your baby - don't let your MIL coments scuttle your confidence. sleeping 10-12 hours through the night at 3.5 months? That sounds like heaven to many of us. Your baby seems like a perfectly normal and wonderful little girl. Keep up the good work

**NaeNae** · December 23rd, 2009, 02:22 PM

so many unhelpful, ignorant MIL's, so few bullets

While my DD is not sleeping such long hours over night she is lucky to cat nap for 30 min each time through the day and she is only 6 weeks (ish). After so much advice from here from others and especially the professional support by people like Barb and my LC I have decided to dismiss as best I can other peoples snide remarks and unhelpful comments and just sticking to the facts - we have plenty of wet nappies to she DD is getting enough to eat, she is gaining weight and is generally a happy content little baby.

If yours seems happy and content then you are obviously doing a fantastic job and your little Violet is thriving - afterall you would be the first to know if there was a hunger problem because you are with her 24/7 and MIL is not.

Keep up the great work hun you are doing brilliantly

Nae x

**Artechim** · December 23rd, 2009, 03:28 PM

Sanchez, you just described Amelia perfectly - except she sometimes wakes for a night feed too. As the others have said, they sleep in 40-50 minutes cycles and it can be hard for them to resettle themselves to continue sleeping. The last two mornings A has slept for two sleep cycles, but apart from that she has spent the last two months only sleeping for 45 minutes at a time. As she gets older she will start to have less naps for a longer time.

Violet sounds like she is doing fine, if she was hungry she would be grizzling for more food and she certainly wouldn't be sleeping for 12 hours overnight.

**Sanchez** · December 24th, 2009, 04:31 AM

Thank you all for your reassurance.
I felt as if I knew that everything was fine - but as a mother of 9, I thought maybe my MIL actually knew something about Breastfeeding (although this is the woman that wanted to put chocolate on a dummy and give it to my baby - no wonder my DH is addicted to chocolate).
She said to me yesterday "your not going to breastfeed her for more than a year are you?" to which my response was yes if Violet is still happy to take the breast....."your not going to be one of those sorts of mothers are you" was what she hit me back with. I felt like shoving the WHO guidelines under her nose.
Clearly she is just not the most supportive of MIL's!

Art & Sangie - I knew that so many of us in our Babies born group have catnappers, and always felt more secure knowing it wasn't just me.....but as a first timer I thought maybe someone knew more than me!

NaeNae - Firstly many Congratulations on your little one! I loved the title of your post - I did read your post about your MIL the other day - what is it about MIL's?!

Everybody else - thank you for your messages.....I am going to go forth and think of some quick witted replys for all the negative vibes i will be recieving for xmas!

Merry Xmas all

**~Raven~** · December 24th, 2009, 05:18 AM

She said to me yesterday "your not going to breastfeed her for more than a year are you?" to which my response was yes if Violet is still happy to take the breast....."your not going to be one of those sorts of mothers are you" was what she hit me back with.

Arrrrgh! I hate that comment! Good luck chick! Stay strong and proud around her and she'll get bored with telling you what to do when she realises you're not taking notice

**Megan** · December 24th, 2009, 10:32 AM

....."your not going to be one of those sorts of mothers are you" was what she hit me back with.

and what kind of mother would that be?
As for your question, what is it with MILs... I wish I knew! lol I was told from the beginning I wouldn't be able to breastfeed for long (not sure what she based that on exactly), now she's telling me I don't have enough milk because DS takes 5 minutes to feed, and she's asking me when I'm going to wean! Apparently it's gross and disgusting to b/f a toddler so I better do it before he's walking around and asking for it! I have never had a single positive comment from her when it comes to breastfeeding.

I agree with Raven, just do your own thing around her and eventually she will give up, or the comments will at least become less frequent.

**MantaRay** · December 26th, 2009, 03:27 PM

"You're not going to be one of those mothers are you?"
"A good mother? Darn right I am!!"

Pity I never think of these come-backs at the time though!

**Taurean** · January 1st, 2010, 09:17 AM

Grrrr!!! MILs make me so angry sometimes! Mine drives me nuts. When visiting us she had the nerve to tell me I feed DD too often that's why she is so unsettled, due to the wind she's getting from me feeding her too much. Ah, no, as I said dear MIL, I suspect she has silent reflux and that is why she is unsettled and she actually finds frequent feeds comforting. DD was diagnosed with silent reflux a week later. MIL also told me I was feeding her for too long and constantly questioned if she was still feeding. Hmm, MY nipple is in her mouth so you think I'd know! She was a midwife 52 years ago when things were quite different but she seemed to think she knew everything. Did I mention that she only briefly breastfed one of her three kids? Grrrr!!

Sorry, got off track with my own vent!! Sanchez, you're doing an awesome job and Violets night sleeps are brilliant! There is nothing wrong with your milk at all! I'm finding catnappers are more common than not. DD has just switched back to catnapping during the day in the past week. It's a bit annoying but she's generally happy and sleeping 10 or 11 hours overnight so I can't complain. Let your MIL little Violet has lots of cat napping buddies