Great advice form everyone else, I don't have anything better to add but wanted to give you hugs

My DS2 was the same, refused a dummy & used me as his comforter. It did get better as he got older - although he stayed that way until he weaned it got easier as he got older.

I second Barb's suggestion that you try & get her used to the dummy before you wean. They don't have to be mutually exclusive....it would be a shame though if you weaned & she still refused a dummy.

Don't know if I've said all that right (tired brain! ) so I will leave it there, more and hang in there. The first few weeks are tough (no matter what you do I think).

- Just wanted to add - can you get out for a walk with your DS - maybe put DD in the sling or pram - I have found this great for spending time with my older kids when there is no time to be had! All the distractions of home are gone & we just talk, they chatter and they have my undivided attention because there is nothing else to take me away.