Should I be doing something.....?

[MummaSue]

Ok, broken record time.

DD is 9.5 months old. STILL not eating solids well and breast feeding like a newborn. We're doing BLS and she seems really enthusiastic about stuff but it gets spat out after a few chews. In the afternoons all we do is lie down and feed, we can be in the bedroom for 3 hours some days. On and off. She still wakes 2 hourly overnight for a feed - and she's not just comfort sucking, she takes a really good feed.

I know that this is what babies do...... I know this. But shouldn't we be eating a bit more and breast feeding a bit less at her age? I'm starting to feel a teeny bit burnt out.

If someone says no, this is fine, then that is cool.
I'm exhausted but not "over it" if that makes sense. I just want to know if there is something I should be doing. I feel like I'm missing something.

[starangelk]

Hi MummaSue....I wish I could say YES this is normal or NO this is not normal and you should do this and there will be a magical fix. My personal opinion is that every breastfeeding journey is different so I think this might be normal for you. A couple of thoughts and please, these are just suggestions - I realise that they might not suit others (yourself included.) Does she take a bottle? Have you considered expressing and seeing how much milk she takes in that afternoon period? It might also help you to understand if she is hungry or just comfort sucking. While this won't change anything and she will still want to feed lots in the afternoons, I find a bit of knowledge power and you might find it easier if you know WHY she is feeding. I half suspect she is just comfort sucking and in that case I guess you have to decide if you are cool with that OR if you want to try something else to help her through the afternoon. Like a dummy? With the food thing, I think just persist. Whenever I get down about DD and food, I actually remember something you posted which was along the lines of "I trust DD to BF and get as much as she needs so I will do the same with the food" and that really helps me Clearly you are just a super awesome mummy with super awesome milk and your bubba doesn't want to be without your boobies at all. This mothering thing is hard work hey. Xx

[~Kim~]

babe, I know the feeling.
I'm no expert and I can only go on my personal experience with Nate, but he was just like that. I felt like I might as well wear no shirt...it was just a hindrance. I was so desperate I even tried EBM to get a break...only he refused that.
He still eats very little and still, frustratingly, spits lots of stuff out. But, that said he'll have a go. And gradually over time he is improving. He still had 3 night feeds at least until about 15-16months (not trying to scare you, just show you that some babies do). And like you said they were really good feeds. Sometimes even now I know he's starving in the middle of the night, but he gets (embarrassed here) a piece of dry bread, and we sit and eat it in bed in the dark, just like the feeds.

[MummaSue]

Starangelk - thank you hun. DD doesn't take a bottle. Refuses to even entertain it. And I can barely get 20ml when I express because I try frequently to do this so that's not an option for us unfortunately. And she also won't take a dummy either, we tried her in the beginning and now I just think that giving her one now would be a step backwards.

Kim - thank you too, it's helpful to know that it's not just me!

Thanks for understanding, I think I really just needed to hear that this is what "normal" is for us.

I'm loving this mummy business, it's awesome. And I know I'm a bit tired just now but I just keep reminding myself that in a few years, i am going to wish she was this small again. And I'll be wishing that my only worry is that we get to lie around all afternoon

[tanyaya]

I just keep reminding myself that in a few years, i am going to wish she was this small again. And I'll be wishing that my only worry is that we get to lie around all afternoon

I have no advice, other than "this too will pass".... and i chuckled at your last line.... because you will one day look back at this time through a different perspective.

ahhh - it's so easy to write these words to someone else!! we're having a baby soon and i'm thinking about all of the fun things like bleeding for 6 weeks after birth and sore nipples and will have to remind myself of this philosophy then!!

[onthefly]

DS didn't drop any feeds till 11 months - including at least 4-5 overnight. he started really eating more after 14-15 months

[sloane]

i agree with the PP who said it may be normal for your DD & that there isn't really a yes or no answer in general!

DS fed like an absolute trooper for what felt like ages. i did find afternoons the toughest - but also noticed that if we were out & about, DS was far less interested in a feed. if we stayed home, he'd be demanding feeds. so distraction techniques worked (if i felt drained by it all).

overnight i've only noticed a change in the last few weeks - until then DS was definitely still having a decent feed (waking 2 hourly). now it's more a comfort thing & i think we're ready to nightwean. how much DS eats at dinner has never had any noticable impact on his sleep.

i think your DD is old enough for you to experiment a bit with distraction, different snacks etc if you feel like a change would be beneficial - remember you need some TLC as well & maybe some time away from feeding in the afternoons may be what helps you get through the tough nights

[CinderToriella]

DD still wakes every couple of hours at night for a feed, she to has a big drink ,during the day we feed every few hours sometimes more it depends on each day, during the afternoons i also go into the bedroom, we hang out and feed mostly , ii sleep as well if she does , or i relax and just chill out its a great way to re group u know

We are doing BLS as well, and some days she eats more some days less, some days i feel she doesnt want anything where others she scoffs everything we give her,i dont worry about it as i feel its pretty normal to have days like this ,i know she eats solids when she wants them, i trust she knows what she needs and when, and i know you do as well Sue, i know you have confidence in yourself and your bub to know your doing the right thing.I know that DD is still getting a lot of BM and if thats what she needs then thats what she needs.

You and your DD are doing a great job, go with the flow , you know she knows what she needs hun I find things change from day to day, minute to minute so i just go with it I also find some days all DD will want is chicken then the next with only want cheese for example , so just keep trying different foods if she spits one out or cries , she may just want something different

ETA like you said in a few years you will be wishing she was small again, so just go with it sweetheart, just enjoy every minute of it and try not to worry to much