I felt bad at first (putting my own needs above his very legitimate ones) but at the end of the day, if I'm stressed out, we all suffer so I feel like I've made the right choice in the end. He seems to be a bit happier now than a couple of weeks ago when I first posted. I think the inconsistency of saying yes sometimes and no most other times was making him more whingy and whiney for it. Now that it is a consistent 'no', he's starting to understand.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Don't feel bad at all, your needs are just as valid as his. And as the parent, its your right to determine how else you can meet his needs. Breastfeeding a bit longer isn't the solution for helping him adjust to the new baby and feel more secure. I breastfed DS1 for 2 years & 8 months, the 8 months I was tandem feeding him and DS2. My aim was that it would help him adjust, feel included. It didn't at all, it made feeding difficult and chaotic. He would ask every time i fed the baby, and i'd relent just to keep him happy. It left me feeling like a machine, a milk dispensary, i always had someone on me, and it was a factor in my developing post natal depression.

I ummed and ahhed for ages about how to wean just him, whether to cut down, how to do it. Its hard when you're tired and can't think clearly, and just feeding is easier. But as you said, my inconsistency was confusing for him. He needed structure, stability and most of all, he needed to see me happy and relaxed. Once i felt that my will to stop breastfeeding him was completely valid and entitled, he seemed to understand that it was something that had to end. It wasn't the end of our physical relationship, just the mouth on breast one. When he would ask for it, i would say "sorry lovey, I can't breastfeed you, my boobies are sore, but you can have a cuddle"... or something similar. I explained they were sore from the constant feeding and that being almost 3 drinking milk from a cup would be just fine. Being a sensitive boy, he seemed to understand and respect, finally, that i'm a person with needs too. So while it broke my heart to refuse him, it was the best thing. I needed my personal space, i needed boundaries, and it was a good thing for him too. For a while he just asked "are booboos still sore", and i would say yes. When he would ask i'd give him lots of cuddles and distraction, soon the asking became less and eventually stopped.

He's fine now, more independant than ever, and I'm so glad we ended it where we did. I think it helped him see me as a person with needs to, and he's a very considerate little boy, i'm sure this contributed.

So please don't feel guilty, your reasons are so valid, and boundaries can have great results if done gently and kindly.