Oh thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. My notifications aren't working, I didn't realise anyone had replied...!

Kmn - yes, you're right, if I do feed him it needs to *not* be in a manner that rewards his whinging and whining for it. He's such a stubborn little nut that even a drive in the car doesn't do the trick these days.

OG - I have tried this, setting bounderies and time limits. The trouble is, he wants it when he needs to go to sleep, and it takes him a good 20-30 minutes to fall into a deep sleep, and he gets mighty upset if he gets cut off before he is asleep. Once I unlatched him when I thought he was sound asleep. He started crying, saying "HEY I WASN'T ASLEEP YET!" lol.

Crazy Cat - I don't think 3 is too old to BF, but you have a good point - if we start again now, when does it end?

Feeb - well done, tandem feeding! I take my hat off to you. At 20 months and with a new one around she is bound to be a bit obsessed. Hopefully it will die down a bit as she comes to enjoy the benefits of being a big girl.

Barb - thanks for your advice. This is what I have been wrestling with. When he's so tired and he just wants to sleep and he asks for my help (ie. a BF) - I think to myself, how can I not help him?

I did in fact decide to go this route and just allow him *one* feed to sleep in the afternoon so that he could have a nap (he won't nap otherwise). But I must have issues leftover from our rather difficult BFing relationship and I found that I couldn't stand it; it made me feel yuk and anxious (funny because I don't feel like that feeding my baby). Plus he started asking me every hour again. So I decided that I just couldn't go down that road again and have refused every request since (about 8 or 9 days). He's not asking as much now.

I think I just need to help him through the tiredness by structuring the day in such a way that he gets enough "quiet time".. and also try my best to get him into bed at a reasonable hour. That, and spend more one-on-one time doing something that doesn't involve my boobs.

I felt bad at first (putting my own needs above his very legitimate ones) but at the end of the day, if I'm stressed out, we all suffer so I feel like I've made the right choice in the end. He seems to be a bit happier now than a couple of weeks ago when I first posted. I think the inconsistency of saying yes sometimes and no most other times was making him more whingy and whiney for it. Now that it is a consistent 'no', he's starting to understand.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.