Formula feeding has always been more appealing to me. I struggle with breastfeeding so much. I have a sensory processing disorder and I find breastfeeding very confronting, and I feel a lot closer to bub when bottle feeding than attached to my breast. So both my boys ended up bottle fed. But that being said I wanted to breastfeed so bad, I felt I had let my boys down with my problem so when my baby girl came along I was determined to breastfeed her even though everything in my body screamed not too.

And it was tough. She's had a bad latch right from the get go, and had a click until about 7 months of age. She fed hourly until 6 months which was so demanding and exhausting not to mention so stressful as I wanted to throw her across the room many times. But we stuck at it and we recently got to 12 months. And I am so glad I stuck at it through all the complete crap.

I didn't manage it alone though I had a lot of support, friends, forums, ABA meetings. I moaned and cried constantly and found support (especially from women here) to help me make it through another day. And I must admit, I didn't do it exclusively. She had some formula and bottles at times when it all got to much for me. I think support at breastfeeding is imperative because it's not easy.

Fwiw I have had two bottle fed kids and 1 breastfed and the breastfed baby was the best sleeper. And whilst I hated breastfeeding my baby I am loving breastfeeding my toddler so I am very glad I stuck to it. I am all about choosing to feed the way you want. I still believe my choice to bottlefeed my boys was the right one at the time, but I have also learnt (the hardest way possible) that the breastfeeding journey is worth it if you want it to be. Hth a lot. I have been standing on that line so many times looking between breast and bottle so I know how you are feeling.