Ooh I am eagerly awaiting peoples replies we are thinking of moving from Melb to Cairns
Even though grew up in Perth then moved here when I was 18. I met a few people through my course and the cheersquad. But its different now Im all grown up lol
Ooh I am eagerly awaiting peoples replies we are thinking of moving from Melb to Cairns
Even though grew up in Perth then moved here when I was 18. I met a few people through my course and the cheersquad. But its different now Im all grown up lol
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Your in Melb?! We are hoping to move to Cairns too, we are hoping by the end of the year (that is the dream mentioned under my name).
Sorry Ginger, I am no help but I hope that more people pop in too as I am keen to hear everyones replies.
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Wow! Lots of people thinking of, or going through the same thing! LOL
Arimeh- thanks for your response. How is your Dh handling it? Is he feeling isolated?
Kim- no, we're thinking of going to Sydney. Alice Springs is way too hot for me! LOL
NurseKobeh- iywym about it being different when you're grown up. I'm worried i'll never meet anyone, especially as i'm a SAHM so won't even meet anyone at work.
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Ginger I'll be back later to reply (DS Dinner time is calling) but I didn't moved states, I moved countries! Guess that's the same!!!! Sorta!
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DH is fine I think. He didn't have a LOT of friends up in QLD, so its not like I dragged him away from anything - other than his family of course, who he talks to on Skype as well (looove Skypin')
Its different for him though than it would be for you, cos he's at work, and the people there have been really nice to him, and he feels like he has friends already.
BUT - if you are moving to Sydney - girl, do you know how many freakin BBer's are in Sydney? Gawd, you'd have em comin out of the wood work to meet up with ya!!
Yep hehehe. I want to live in redlynchhh so bad
BellyBelly Member
Babe, if your moving to where i think your moving, its a very, very young family orientated area......dont expect to make best friends in 6 months or anything, but getting yourself out there with swimming lessons, mums groups etc your bound to make some connections...and dont forget when DS starts school ( know, seems a zillion miles away,but really, it isnt) you will meet mums there, all scared and anxious like you....and you will just click with some....promise...
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You'll meet people, just the same as down here. It will take a while, but it would soon feel like home.
I have lived lots of places, interstate, overseas, mostly away from any friends and family. If you get out of the house and do things like swimming lessons, play group etc etc. You'll soon make friends. Although i will admit as i get older i tend to make less friends. Getting picky as i get older.
The thought of going is MUCH worse than the reality. promise!
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Hi Ginger & others that are looking at making the big move
2 years ago DH and I moved from QLD where we had lots of friends and family, great lifestyle and made the move to a remote WA town.
Yes I do get homesick, although at the same time I don't know where home is now but I do know it isn't where we used to live. My homesick is more for the facilities.
Webcam makes life a bit easier, especially since we now have DD we're still able to show off her growing and its nice to see peoples face.
I think that having a little one will make it easier to meet people. Look up playgroup website and find one in the area you'll be living. Sport is a big thing to meet people too. When we moved within a week we were both playing sport that we hadn't played in 9 years but it was a gateway to many friendships.
Our motto was "this is an adventure" we were hoping to last a year but hopefully 2 or 3 years. Well it is two years now and while I'd love to move it is purely because of having DD as there are no facilities and it is far too hot to go walking in summer and next summer she'll be wanting to play outside and I just won't be able to let that happen much. We'll probably be leaving in the next year.
I hope that the move goes smoothly for you (if that is what you decide) and you throw yourself into your local community and meet lots of fabulous friends of your own.
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I guess I'm qualified to answer this. In the past 12 years I have moved
Sydney > London > Sydney > Melbourne > Sydney > Melbourne > Sunshine Coast
I'm a Sydney girl, went overseas for 2.5 years, came back for 18 months, moved to Melbourne, stayed for 6 years, moved back to Sydney and gave up after 5 months to move back to Melbourne and then 6 months ago moved to the Sunshine Coast!
Having kids does make it a lot easier to meet people because you have an instant talking point. You do have a headstart with your DH's connections though. When we moved to Melbourne we knew 2 people and we knew absolutely nobody up here on the Sunshine Coast.
I will say though that you need to give yourself at least a year to really settle in and you will probably have a wobble around the 6 month mark because that's when the novelty wears off but you probably haven't made too many close ties yet so will feel a bit isolated...if there's ever a time when you will seriously consider just going home, it is then.
Does a new place ever become your home? Yes, absolutely. It's a strange feeling though, you wind up with more than one home...where you come from, and where you now live, and you love them both. I think I will always have split affections for both Sydney and Melbourne now. I have been away from Sydney too long to consider it home anymore but it's where I grew up, and Melbourne is still where my heart is because I haven't been in Queensland for very long yet. And I still miss London, even though I haven't been back there in 10 years now. For a good 3 years after I came back, I still felt like London was more my home than Australia.
The trick to making it feel like home is to embrace the lifestyle. In Melbourne we went out to eat in the city, did the tourist things ourselves, went to the Comedy Festivals and the pubs and the footy and got to know the place. Now up here we are really trying to embrace the outdoors and the beach and that kind of thing.
For me the making friends part does take time. I'm not particularly good at it and I am a bit picky LOL! But I make sure I stay in touch with my friends who aren't here so I still get to have conversations with people who know me well...the acquaintance conversations do stay a bit superficial for some time. And if you join a group (say playgroup) you have to keep going every week, you may not feel like you click straightaway but as the weeks go by the familiarity grows. Start conversations with people, it's amazing how many people are just too shy to start them themselves. It isn't the school playground anymore, you are highly unlikely to get shot down in flames.
I think you have to have fairly sound reasons for moving...it's such a big thing (and a total PITA to organise) to do on a whim. For us it is about how we want our kids to grow up and the kind of lifestyle we want to have for ourselves...we don't plan on moving interstate again...this is it. We loved Melbourne but were never quite sure that was "it" for us. And truthfully I don't have another move in me...I just couldn't face it again.
We always thought we'd wind up back in Sydney but it just didn't work out for us...despite the friends and family connections. We'd been away too long and found ourselves looking at it with outsider's eyes and the quality of life we had in Melbourne just couldn't be replicated there. That's why we bailed out after 5 months, we could see the writing on the wall.
Family and friends will visit you, especially when new babies come along, but by and large you will find that you do more of the visiting than they do. It's very annoying at times but they seem to be of the view that you moved away so you should come back and visit...and then when you do everyone wants a piece of you so it's hardly relaxing - we have spent so many weekends charging around just so everyone could see us for a few hours. We've made a couple of sharp comments over the years that planes fly in both directions...sometimes we get people saying that they can't afford to come and see us but then they don't seem to think that it costs us money to visit them. Now that we have kids and we have told people just how much it costs us to come back to Sydney for a visit we don't get so much of the "so when are you coming back for a visit?"
As someone else said, making the decision is actually harder than moving itself. The novelty of the new place does carry you through the first few weeks. And of course you can always move back...it's expensive but there is no shame in admitting that something isn't what you thought it was going to be. But funnily enough a place can still grow on you nevertheless. I really wasn't that fond of Melbourne after 2 years and would happily have left then but DH had been given a brilliant job opportunity so we stayed. I never thought I would be in tears at the thought of leaving the place but sure enough, when we moved mid last year...I blubbed my little heart out!
And do a couple of research visits before you fully commit. Stay in the area you think you want to live in, check out the fauna at the local shopping centre, watch the local news, go out at night and get a snapshot of what life would be like.
Hope something there helps you.
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Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice ladies!
Curly- your post was fantastic, gave me so much to think about. it's great to be 'aware' about the 6 month mark so that i can be prepared and ride through it iykwim? thank you!
JM- well i guess if you think i can make friends (and you actually know me IRL) then i should be ok LOL
Ellee- thanks for your suggestion, i checked out the playgroup NSW website and there's heaps in the area so that's good to know!
Minimax- do come back i'd love to hear your story.
Arimeh- well i figured there'd be a few BBrs in Syd so hopefully i could go along to a meet-up and make some friends.
Mbear- thanks so much, we figured the area would be quite young and family friendly...but then i wonder how any young family can afford any of those houses LOL some of them are soooo exxxy!!! LOL looks like our house will end up being the biggest dump in the street!
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