Hi,

I haven't posted in this forum before, but I've had 3 caesareans now (the most recent being almost 4 months ago). To give you a little background, my first was with my first baby. He was 10 days overdue and I was induced. 2 doses of gel, my water broke, 21hrs of nothing (well I made it to 2cm), had a caesar (his head was stuck in my pelvis, 9lbs). Baby #2, was considering VBAC, had trouble finding encouraging VBAC stories online/published etc, wasn't feeling very confident, booked in for a caesar (8lbs13oz). Baby #3, discovered bellybelly in 2nd trimester, desperately wanted to go into labour naturally before my booked in caesar, had loads of braxton hicks, plenty of early labour signs, but nothing happened, had a caesar (8lbs11oz).

I've always had really good recoveries, and never have felt emotionally scarred from not being able to birth vaginally, but now, being totally in love with yet another baby, I'm thinking of the future. I love love love being pregnant and having babies. I love love love being a mum. I do not love epidurals (for the surgeries). I do not love the recovery. I do not love the risk of post partum haemorrhage. Do I stop having babies? Is the risk of complications higher each time? In a perfect world I would have another baby in a heartbeat. But I have 3 children now, and is it selfish of me to want another? To risk abandoning my family for another baby? I also totally freaked out this epidural, and the thought of a fourth giant needle entering my spine makes me shudder.

Can anyone offer advice? Or experienced the same thing?