That must be so tough. I had a traumatic birth first time, and found that during the 2nd pregnancy issues kept coming up but through talking and writing and thinking and even dreaming i was able to work through alot and was much more at peace by the end of the pregnancy. I reckon that is why pregnancy goes for 9 months, to allow you time to get your head ready as well as your body.

Have you seen the Face of Birth? There is a story by a woman who had to transfer and had a c section, but was able to get the peaceful environment that she wanted for her son's birth.

Wishing you love and energy during your pregnancy and a joyful birth on your terms.