Debriefing emergency c-section with midwives?

[farmgirl77]

Nine months ago our DH was born via emergency c-section. DH and I had wanted a natural birth, if possible, but ultimatly as DS was an IVF bub, we just wanted a live baby - however that happened. At the time of his birth, and up until recently, I had not really worried about the c-sect - to be honest I was struggling to cope with our DS (suffering mild PND). Now things are better, but now I am thinking more and more about the c-section and wondering if it really had to be, or if there was something I should have done differently? Why did it happen, did it have to happen?

I am thinking of ringing the hospital and seeing if I can meet with a midwife to go through my file and the details of the birth and debrief it. Questions like - did I really need a c-sect because my waters had been broken 24hrs, was I not coping, was my baby not coping - those kinds of things. The person who has been helping me with the PND suggested that the hospital may not want to do this as they may be afraid that I will blame them, get angry etc etc. I dont think I will, if anything I am more likley to blame myself more for giving in to the pain and allowing the c-sect to happen.

So, has anyone else debriefed a c-sect birth after this lenght of time (9mths) - if yes, was it helpful? Are there other options that I should consider such as getting my file and then finding an independent midwife to look at it and talk me through it? I have though about going to my Ob, but he will say that it was the best outcome etc etc, and that is not the objective view I am looking for.

Any suggestions much appreciated.
FG

[mummato1]

I am actually considering doing the exact same thing.. so I am very interested to see the responses you get!

[Midwife Melissa]

I am thinking of ringing the hospital and seeing if I can meet with a midwife to go through my file and the details of the birth and debrief it ... I have though about going to my Ob, but he will say that it was the best outcome etc etc, and that is not the objective view I am looking for.
FG

The hospital midwives don't generally debrief births and would most likely back what the OB would say. I think most women would see an IM to get an independent viewpoint.

[*Belle*]

Hon I think de-brief would be very helpful, and Im sure your OB would help go through it with you, I never asked mine in hindsight it may have helped me a lot and I should have done so. My OB and I did discuss my DD1 emergency c/s when I was pregnant with DD2, but we didnt go into details, all I said was I do not want to go through that again so elect c/s was decided due to my complications I wouldnt be able to give birth naturally. So I guess I got my answers then. I guess it depends why they decided emergency c/s, was your baby in disstress, what your body in distress? did the baby get stuck in my pelvic bone and couldnt move like mine? so many questions I can understand why you would like to de-brief. Wishing you all the best, and hope you get some answers xxx

[Astrid]

I debreifed when I was pregnant with DD2. Part of my midwife visits were discussing the past and what I wanted to happen this time round. I found it very helpful and got a lot more answers about what happened. Just my description of what went on was enough for them to give some good feedback.

It was so worth discussing things with them, as it meant that when I needed another emergency c-section (due to other issues), we were more in control and able to have a better experience overall.

[farmgirl77]

Thanks for the replies. I asked my DH last night what he thought about the debrief and 1. he though talk to the OB, and 2. he said it was pretty clear than nothing was happening (I did not dilate past 4cm, and my waters had been broken for 24hrs) - so it was the best option. I'm not sure about talking to the Ob, I dont know that he will be objective as I know that he is pro c-section (I did not have any choice but to go to him, and really we were happy with his care). I guess I want some independence in the option. I guess that I'll just sit on it for a bit longer and ponder what to do. I think that if we were to have another baby I would really need to sort this out before the birth!