sakoon - big hugs. I don't really have any advice but don't even think about blaming yourself. I had to have a caesar (5 week before Bubs due date) as I had been having bleeding. I spent 2 weeks sitting in a hospital bed waiting for the caesar blaming myself. Now that he is here and healthy I don't give it another thought. I can fully understand that you are disappointed but don't be too hard on yourself. Your body has spent almost 9 months caring for this baby so you have already done a wonderful job.