Did your other half stay in hospy with you after birth?
With DD, husband stayed the whole time, so 5 nights in hospy. In some ways it was invaluable, he could pass baby to me when I was bed bound, he walked her around when unsettled so I didn't have to rely on middies etc, on the other hand I found I didn't sleep or rest much because I felt like I needed to occupy him all the time (my issue, not his!!).
This time we have dd to think about and not sure what to do. Ideally I'd love him to stay the first night (we are having an early morning c/s if all goes to plan) but then to spend the second night with dd and then bring her home (2.5 hours away) and just come back to pick me up when I get discharged. It will give dd some normality and give me time to bond and rest but then I have mini stress attacks about not having him there.
What did you do? If OH didn't stay, did you find it really tough? What did you do with other children while hubby was staying in hospy with you?
Like you, DH stayed with me for I think 4 (or maybe it was 5) nights that I was in hospital for with DD1. He had planned on going home for the Friday night so he could catch up on a bit of sleep (she was already very unsettled) but I had a meltdown that day so he stayed with me. I really needed him there during those long night hours.
DD2 was born just after 5am and I went home with her at lunch time so not an issue that time.
This time I think I might stay in hospital for at least one night, maybe two. Depending on when she makes her arrival will determine whether DH stays a night with me or not. If my folks haven't had to get up during the middle of the night to come over for the girls when I go into labour, then he'll probably stay with me and the girls with my parents. If they did get up during the middle of the night then he will go home and stay with them. Definitely a play it by ear kind of thing.
DH did not stay for either of mine. We are both very tall, and squashing into a double bed was not my idea of fun. In saying that I had a complication free birth, so I was not stuck in bed or anything.v I know my sis who had a CS would have really struggled without her hubby.
Two CS, DH hasn't stayed with me either time, public hospital not an option but I would have hated him staying, I think would have been quite annoying really. I preferred just doing my own thing and not having to think about anyone else . First time was in 5 nights, he just used to come in and see us after work, I was a bit envious a couple of times of people with more visitors (family all overseas, did have two friends come in), but I didn't find it tough at all, midwives just a buzz away and after first day I could do everything myself anyway. I caught up on sleep, when DD slept, did some reading and knitting was quite pleasant really. Second time DS born on Sunday arvo, DH worked the Monday, my mum was over to help look after DD too. I was in three nights, desperate to get home that time.
DD1 DH stayed the whole time in a beautiful big room and queen sized bed ...heaven!
DD2 DH was at home with DD1 14 months old ... I missed him so much after the fairy tale we had the first time ...oh and both cs,
DD1, DH stayed the first four nights but went home for the last night. It was lovely having him there, but I was pretty excited to have her 'all to myself' for that one night!
DS and DD2, he stayed the first night but was then home with the kids the other nights. This last time, he took the big kids to school then came and spent the day with me. Then he would go and pick up the kids from school, bring them to visit me and take them home at about 6.30pm.
I had vaginal deliveries so moving about and picking up my bubs' unassisted was not a problem.
Nope and I wouldn't want him too either. I had no problems moving around after labour so didn't need the physical help. I prefer to share a bed with bub on my own.
With DS2 he kept working while I was in hospital to maximise paternity leave at home. DS1 was with MIL but stayed at our place. He'd visit me at lunch, go home to have dinner with DS1 then come in again at night.
Both times dp stayed with me ( both were c/s). Dd1 stayed at home with my mum and mil but came in every day for most of the day. Dp went home after breakfast and brought her in, but we only live 10min from the hospital so it was easy to do that.
Ds2 my parents were here so they had ds1 most of the time. dh stayed first night then worked night shift for 3 nights. He then stayed at home last night I was in hospital.
Both times I would have really struggled without him on that first night. He would get up and bring bubs to me, change nappies, put him back to be and just generally supported me. Was fantastic
Xh didn't stay for either. Mind you that was probably a good thing. I had to beg him to drive me to the hospital to visit DS1 (premmie, SCN) after I'd had a c/s.
And for DS2 we weren't really on speaking terms. dS1 stayed in daycare, XH went to work (chose not to take time off ). My mum came and stayed with me which was fabulous.
If it was the right partner I'd love them to stay.
DP didn't stay with DS & i don't anticipate that he will this time either. i went public (and am again) but i did end up with a single room with a double bed so he probably could have in hindsight but he hadnt really eaten all day or slept the night before so he went home to have a decent meal & sleep before he came back first thing the next morning. i'd had an epidural so couldn't move out of the bed but the m/w were really helpful. the second night was probably worse because i was out of the daze (DS was born just before 6pm so the first night was a blur) & just felt a bit alone. i went home in the morning so it wasn't so bad.
this time i expect he will be coming home & i will miss him again but i really want DS to be able to wake up to daddy being there (he'll most likely be staying with DP's mum) & then i'm hoping the two of them will come back to the hospital.
My hospital, small hospital, doesn't allow partners to spend the night. Because my CS was unplanned and happened at 4.15pm they did let DP stay with me the first night but he had to sleep in a pull-out chair beside the bed and it was not comfortable. So he went home each night after but he came in early every day and stayed till about 8pm each night.
DH stayed the night DD was born (she was born 4.48am, so overnight thurs night while i laboured, then c/s) and that day, then again that night. went home sat night to feed the animals, came back sun morning for full day, went home, and came back mon night and stayed overnight to help out. DD wasn't gaining weight and they wanted me on the pump all the time - my nipples were shredded from the pump so he stayed and paced with dd so i could sleep between feeds (she was on the boob every 90 mins around the clock to get my milk to come in)
on the nights he didn't stay over, he was still with me until basically bed time. we put on dvd's and just relaxed together exactly as we would if we were at home. It was exactly what i needed.
i guess him being there was for him as much as for me. he had to go away to work on the road again when DD was only a couple of months old so he wanted that bonding time. and the hospital was about 65k's from home, so minimising travel was important too lol. he really only went home to feed the animals - the hospital were fine with him staying as much as he wanted and made sure i had the double room the first couple of nights (double bed) and then moved me to a private room when they needed that one for birthing suite again - based entirely on our travel distance, cos the middies knew how much driving DH had to do...
if we were to have another now, DH wouldn't stay every night. possibly some of them (first night probably) and then he'd try to make life as normal as possible for DD. she isnt' a kidlet that stays overnight with anyone else very often (ok, so she's only done it once - and due again this month for one night!), and he is her primary carer while i work - so normality for her would be our primary focus. BUT, it isn't set in stone - i think we'd have to play it by ear at the time. theory is all good, but sometimes you just have to wing it at the time. what seems to be the obvious option now, may not work even a little bit in the moment kwim?
With DS I was more worried about the dog being fed and kept company, so DH went home. We only lived 15 mins from hospital though. I didn't mind it at all, it was good for me and DS. Not sure how I'd feel if I couldn't move well though.
With DD he didn't stay either (she was born at 4:35am so he hadn't slept). He stayed at his BFF's house (our place rented out, we were homeless!!) so not far away. He had DS to look after too.
I liked it not having that extra person around. I could just get on with things without thinking of an extra person.
Two cs here as well, and no there was no option for him to stay. At the Mercy if we had a low intervention birth, there are some double rooms that they have available for public patients but not for cs. I didn't really mind, he stayed til late each night to help me and then both times, bubs spent a few hours with the nurses so I could get some rest overnight before going home.
I had to express every few hours so nurses were coming in for J to feed, then would come to express my milk for me an hour or so later, so it would have been pretty disruptive for him. He got good rest as DD was with mum while I was in hopsy.
DH stayed all 4 nights with me when DS was born. We had family feed the animals, get clean clothes for us etc. That was public and we had a double room with double bed.
This time around he will probably be only visiting and staying at home with DS overnight.
Did your other half stay in hospy with you after birth?
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Because my CS was unplanned and happened at 4.15pm they did let DP stay with me the first night but he had to sleep in a pull-out chair beside the bed and it was not comfortable. So he went home each night after but he came in early every day and stayed till about 8pm each night.
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