DH stayed the night DD was born (she was born 4.48am, so overnight thurs night while i laboured, then c/s) and that day, then again that night. went home sat night to feed the animals, came back sun morning for full day, went home, and came back mon night and stayed overnight to help out. DD wasn't gaining weight and they wanted me on the pump all the time - my nipples were shredded from the pump so he stayed and paced with dd so i could sleep between feeds (she was on the boob every 90 mins around the clock to get my milk to come in)

on the nights he didn't stay over, he was still with me until basically bed time. we put on dvd's and just relaxed together exactly as we would if we were at home. It was exactly what i needed.

i guess him being there was for him as much as for me. he had to go away to work on the road again when DD was only a couple of months old so he wanted that bonding time. and the hospital was about 65k's from home, so minimising travel was important too lol. he really only went home to feed the animals - the hospital were fine with him staying as much as he wanted and made sure i had the double room the first couple of nights (double bed) and then moved me to a private room when they needed that one for birthing suite again - based entirely on our travel distance, cos the middies knew how much driving DH had to do...

if we were to have another now, DH wouldn't stay every night. possibly some of them (first night probably) and then he'd try to make life as normal as possible for DD. she isnt' a kidlet that stays overnight with anyone else very often (ok, so she's only done it once - and due again this month for one night!), and he is her primary carer while i work - so normality for her would be our primary focus. BUT, it isn't set in stone - i think we'd have to play it by ear at the time. theory is all good, but sometimes you just have to wing it at the time. what seems to be the obvious option now, may not work even a little bit in the moment kwim?