Kate, I hope you get the birth you want, whatever you decide!

My only recommendation, if you can afford it, would be to get a doula. We had one and she was so, so awesome. She helped us make our birth plan and was invaluable during birth, helping me and DH. She made it all so much less scary. I was very trepidatious, like you, I'm not good at all with pain and generally freak out about things I can't control- but my doula helped me to relax enough so that my body took over and the fear took a very definate second place....and seriously, if I can do that, anyone can! Even when my birth ended up being a bit traumatic, I know without my doula it would have been 20 times worse!