I ended up taking a pg test yesterday and it was neg.. So I assume AF has jus decided to take a long break this month..

I am surprisingly relieved, I didn't want anymore but would love more kids if that makes sense.. I didn't really give it much thought till this week and when I thought I might be I kinda got a little excited and was worried how I would feel if the test came back neg.. But I am relieved. It would just be bad timing I am so tired from the sleepness nights as it is I don't think I could handle much else right now..

and to be honest having to tell people would make me feel embarrassed and irresponsible. I know it is a silly way to feel but thats how I would feel..

So for those thinking of getting your tubes tied be 100% sure this is what you want. I know it is was the right decision to make for my family and for myself but sometimes in the back of my mind I wonder whether I will want more on a few years time.. kwim??