Hi ladies!

I wanted to post in this forum to get some advice, and also to mentally prepare myself that I may be up for another c section.

I had a c-sect with my 1st, she was 10lbs 2 oz and apparently I had dis-proportion or whatever they call it, my OB at the time strongly reccomended a C sect to prevent complications from labouring and the babies head getting stuck, she had a 37cm head, I must have a small pelvis or something I dont know, but she was also posterior and had no intentions of engaging at 7 days past my due date.

I had an ultrasound done with this one the other week, at 34 weeks he measured 8lbs 8oz already and the lady doing the ultrasound had to keep re-measuring his head cause she could not beleive the size of it already. I know growth scans aren't all that accurate and they can either give or take half a kilo in size. But even taking off the half a kilo, and if I went to 40 weeks he will be a huge baby. I have to see my OB tues to make a final decision about if It's a good idea to labour or not.

I spent last night awake all night knowing I am 36 weeks pregnant, and they said they will probably try and get him out if by C sect the week before I am due, cause Im not allowed to go overdue, due to a previous C section and the possibility of the size of this boy. So that means If my OB says its safer for me to have a c sect than try for Vbac due to complications that could arise, because its the same problem as my 1st really happening again. That means I only have a maximum of 3 weeks left until my baby is born! And I am pooing myself, I probably wouldnt even be nervous if I was going for a normal vaginal birth, it feels natural to the body its what we are meant to do.

However with my C section with my 1st, I remember saying to my hubby in recovery, "that was the most awful experience I have ever been through I am never doing it again!"

I found the whole epidural needle thing scary, they tried 4 times to get it in, and when it wasnt working they were snapping at me and being nasty and rude to me, because I could still move my legs, like it was my fault! I wish my hubby could of been there for when they were putting the epi in I really needed him and felt so alone with the surgeouns and anethesist being nasty to me.

And I remember laying on my back and feeling like I was going to vomit during the whole procedure, from the feelings and movement in my stomach of people digging around, and not being able to breathe properly from laying on my back for so long, I was shaking so much from drugs when she was born that I could not even hold her. I remember feeling winded when they pulled her out and sweating and feeling hot while they were stitching me back up... and the next day getting out of bed to walk and no one offered me any pain killers or any pain releif for the 1st 2 days! I was in agony and I had these nurses going... c'mon get up get up!
I only stayed in hospital for 3 days I didnt see the point in staying longer because they werent doing anything for me that I couldnt of done at home with my hubby at least my hubby was a little more caring than the nurses and doctors there.

So I spent all night last night crying and blubbering because I know it is going to be likely that I will need another c sect, I am terrified and dont want to go through it again, for some reason it took me 6 months until I could walk properly again, and around 12 months until the complete soreness went away.

I want to do what is best for me and my baby and if they think c sect is then I will, I just cant manage to prepare myself mantally for it again it was horrible.
My hubby was very supportive last time, but he's really got his hands full with me this time around, cause I know what I am in for and it wasnt nice! Nothing he can say or do will ease my mind or make me feel better about having the operation again. And I dont mean to but I feel partially angry at him, becausehe cant help me in any way, and he has no idea what I went through witht he 1st one, the feelings I felt and afterwards all the pain. I love him to death, but I just wish he could listen a bit more about my concerns with it... sometimes I think he just thinks "oh well another c section, an hour and its all over with". I also had to wait 4 hrs in the waiting room to even get into surgery too which was pathetic! It just made me more nervous waiting to get in I hope its alot better this time.

Is there anyone else who's found c-sect while being awake traumatic and who is facing going through it again like me and is petrified? Ohhh my I am so scared!