Big hugs, mykids . For a very different reason, my recent VBA2C also ended in a c-section but I totally understand the disappointment you feel.

It is very normal to feel grief over what has happened. I have to remind myself that despite all the best planning and preparation, somethings are just out of our control. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to cry.

There is a section for Attempted VBACs which I found helpful to read. You're doing well even posting on here so soon after the birth of your little one - i couldn't face it for a little while as I was so disappointed in having a c-section again.

Something that 2 months ago someone said but i couldn't accept was 'it will get easier with time'. For me, 9 weeks on, that's actually true. But to get to this point, i have debriefed with my maternal nurse, i saw a professional counsellor and also debriefed with my private midwife. I'm still upset but it's not as consuming in my thoughts anymore and i'm glad i worked through my experience with others a few times. Your hormones are racing too at the moment which makes things tough.

Learning to accept what has happened and what will never happen (having a vaginal birth) takes time but you will get there. For me, it all started to get a little easier when DD3 smiled at me properly for the first time a few weeks ago and our eyes locked and we really really connected.

Be gentle on yourself and take care recovering.